Few things throw me back to my woe-be-gone wonder years like a station wagon with fake wood on the sides. When I was a kid, vinyl laminated barges like this 1973 Chrysler Town and Country were as ubiquitous as men with longer hair than women, bell bottoms and disco music. As they say, everything old is new again, but we'll never see cars (never mind SUV's) this big and heavy again and certainly, well, hopefully, we'll never see ones festooned with simulated wood grain decals on their flanks.
The use of this simulated wood applique, as if this stuff is simulated needs to be pointed out, stems from the storied wood stations wagons of yore that were known as "woodies". As manufacturers moved to all-steel bodies, the look of woodies literally stuck around with domestic manufacturers use of simulated wood grain decals. Toyota offered a Cresida woodie wagon in the early 1980's that was a U.S.-exclusive; lucky us. Funny how certain things don't age well. Even if the fake bark on our '73 here was in showroom condition, my twenty-something sons would still hold their noses. If you're of my certain, ahem, vintage, big old wagons like this are pure nostalgia trips. In more ways than one and not always good ones. Are we there yet?
While General Motors doesn't get credit for inventing the station wagon or "woodies", we give them credit for the first use of vinyl to simulate or emulate the look of a woodie-wagon. They first used a narrow strip of it to decorate their new-for-1949, all-steel body Chevrolet, Pontiac and Oldsmobile station wagons. Incidentally, the term for this sort of thing is, "skeumorphism", that means, "a derivative object using original design cues"; if ever there was a five-dollar word, that's it. Perhaps it's a ten-dollar word with inflation and all. For whatever reason, I have my theories, the tailgates on these things were made from wood. I would assume because they could charge more for these wagons as they were some of GM's most expensive models back then. Certainly, makes no sense from a practical standpoint.
Speaking of being impractical, curiously, Buick continued to use wood in the construction of their wagons during this time and did so through 1953;
that's the real deal on this '53 Roadmaster Estate. In fact, Buick was the last domestic manufacturer to use wood structurally on any vehicle. The British car maker Morgan used wood up through 1971. If you don't count hearses and ambulances, Cadillac never got a station wagon. Either a steel-bodied one or skeumorphic one.
If we want to split-hairs, though, the first use of a vinyl decals to emulate the look of a woodie was Chrysler's use of it on their late 1947 through 1950 Chrysler Town and Country two-door convertible and four-door sedan; the sedan was dropped after 1948. Above is a 1948 four-door. These were, then the first skeumorphic woodies. At least the wood-framing is actual white-ash, but it was all for show. It wasn't structural as it was on Chrysler's 1941 and 1942 wood-bodied Town and Country wagon.
Here's one of those in all its wooden glory although it does have a steel roof, most if not all earlier woodies had wooden slat-roofs covered with heavy canvas. Based on the then current Chrysler Windsor Town Sedan, this car's steel top greatly improved driving and ride dynamics. Probably because they sold so few, they were expensive and station wagons weren't mainstream yet, Chrysler discontinued these wagons after The War.
For the record, Star, a long gone brand of Durant Motors, built the first factory station wagon in 1923. Prior to that, anything construed as a station wagon were built by custom builders who often times employed moonlighting wood cabinet makers.
By far and away, much of the credit for the woodie-station wagon goes to the Ford Motor Company. Henry Ford and his team noted the popularity of custom built, wooden delivery hacks and station wagons, many of which were built on Ford Model T chassis and running gear, and they introduced their own in 1929 based on a long-wheelbase version of the 1927 Model A.
Ford refined these wagons over the years adding fixed but removable windows in 1933 and front doors with retractable windows in 1935 (above). Rear windows that rolled up and down didn't arrive until 1946. Blame World War II for that delay as well as these vehicles, again, were hardly family conveyances so there was no inherent rush to make them more car like. Through the end of their production run in 1948, all Ford-woodies had the slatted wood roofs with a canvas top. Quite the jalopies. Albeit handsome ones.
GM didn't get in the station wagon game until 1940, above is a '40 Chevrolet "Special Deluxe" and was very similar in construction to the Ford wagons. Prior to that, if you wanted "That GM Feeling", an independent coach builder could build you one. Out of wood, of course.
While wooden station wagons were expensive and somewhat impractical for daily, non-commercial use, they creaked, moaned, groaned and cracked and needed semi-annual varnishing, the look was seen as a status symbol. When Ford introduced their first post-war station wagon in 1949, they kept the "woodie-look" by adhering wood panels to their new all-steel body (above). These required the same maintenace as "real-woodies", thus we can understand why manufacturers switched to synthetic wood.
Mid-model year 1952 and through 1954, Ford used fiberglass panels to create "the look" although, even from this distance, we see something gone awry with the skeumorphism. Note on this '54, the fakeness stretches all the way onto the front fenders. It's a look that would prevail for the rest of the simulated fake wood era. On this car the pillars are painted steel.
Ford gets additional credit for spurring the use of a simulated wood grain vinyl decals starting in 1955 on their Country Squire. Through 1991, Ford used the non-wood wood on a number of different sized wagons from their compact Falcon "Squire" to their mid-size Fairlane Squire and later Torino wagons. They also used it on their coupe as well as Pinto wagon, Granada wagon, Gran Torino and LTD II wagons, Fairmont and Escort wagons and mid-sized 1983-1985 LTD wagon. Mercury, also a division of Ford, got a number of simulated grain wagons starting in 1957 through 1991.
Through 1966, the only other manufacturer to offer simulated woodgrain on a station wagon was, interestingly enough, American Motors. Above is a 1956 Rambler "Cross Country". AMC offered vinyl wood on a number of different vehicles through their merger with Chrysler, or demise, in 1987.
Chrysler's Plymouth division built a station wagon similar to wood bodied Ford wagons from 1939 through 1948; you're not alone thinking this a Ford or Chevrolet. Curiously, they used a semi-wooden body on their 1950 "Special Deluxe" station wagon; they introduced an all-steel wagon in 1949 as well, which, no surprise with its lower cost of admission, sold significantly better. With few takers, the "hybrid" Special Deluxe was discontinued in 1951. Dodge (and DeSoto) didn't offer a car-based station wagon until 1949 and that was all-steel as well. For 1950 Dodge and DeSoto offered a "woodie-wagon" but was an all but rebadged semi-wooden bodied, Plymouth Special Deluxe.
When Chrysler updated their all-steel wagon for 1951, all the woodies, whether skeumorphic or not, were gone. Above is a handsome but less than distinctive looking (than a 1941-42) 1951 Chrysler Town and Country.
Chrysler didn't start gluing the vinyl laminate to their wagons until they offered it on their new-for-1966 Town and Country. Plymouth got a (fake) woodie in 1966 as well, Dodge in 1967. DeSoto had gone the way of the dodo during the 1961 MY. Chrysler offered the skeumorphic trim on a number of different wagon-based cars through 1988. Up to and including the K-car based "woodies" of 1982-1988 fame. Or infamy.
Never to be out-done, General Motors started offering the stuff in 1966 across wagons on all their lines (except Cadillac) including their top-of-the-line Caprice station wagon. And, seemingly just like that, a craze was born overnight although its coming was decades in the making. GM offered the wood decals on a number of different vehicles for the next thirty-years.
Cars with fake wood on the sides are mostly remembered for being on stations wagons but The Big Three (and a half) stuck it on a bunch of different things. Like this 1968 Mercury Parklane. These giant decals were marketed as "Yacht Paneling" making it figuratively if not literally a land yacht.
This 1968-1969 Chrysler Newport with "Sportsgrain" was a companion model to the Chrysler Town and Country station wagon. Fun fact, it was Chrysler's first (and only) non-wagon-woodie since 1950. No one cared.
Ford and GM gussied up their car\pick trucks in the 1970's with the fake wood too. GM taking the literal tackiness one step further offering a vinyl top on their 1973-1976 El Camino. By the way, in most states, El Camino's and Ranchero's are classified as trucks. Good luck getting those bikes out, kids.
From 1976 to 1980 the Mercury version of this Ford Pinto. the "Bobcat Villager", could be had with the same motif as this Pinto (love the mags). Note the surfboards. In the 1950's and 1960', "woodies" were popular with surfers because of they could easily haul their wares and a gaggle of passengers. They were cheap too since many had fallen into disrepair because of the required maintenance. The Beach Boys make reference to loading up a "woodie" in their 1962 song, "Surfin' Safari".
This 1976 Chevette woodie simultaneously makes no sense and all the sense in the world. I guess you had to be there.
Add some flames and this woodie-AMC Pacer would be the ultimate Mirthmobile. Ok, it's technically a wagon. Party on.
Even Volkswagen got into the game although I'm not sure what they were thinking with their "woodie-Rabbit" (woodie-wabbit?) of 1977 through 1979. Can't blame VW's marketing department for trying something different. Then again, we can.
Even General Motors' mighty 1970-1977 Chevrolet Suburban (left) and 1973-1980 Chevrolet Blazer\GM Jimmy weren't immune from the ignominy of skeumorphic wood. Somehow, on the Blazer\Jimmy, it actually works. I think.
1978-1980 Dodge Omni\Plymouth Horizon with the "Premium Woodgrain" package is another eye-sore example. I guess this car was too small to market the laminate as "Yacht Paneling".
Then we have the K-car LeBaron "woodies" in 1982-1988 (there was a wagon too). Little did I know at the time they were emulating the Chrysler Town and Country woodie convertibles of the late 1940's. Was the K-car woodie then double-skeumorphic?
Lastly, for now at least, there's more, lots more, even the vehicle that most say did-in the station wagon couldn't escape the glue on. Although, on Chrysler's game changing 1984 minivan, the trim., much like on the K-car LeBaron, it's a skeumorphism of a skeumorphism, it's nothing but a fashion statement but what kind of statement were they trying to make?
The Griswold's "Wagon Queen Family Truckster" hilariously harpooned not only vehicles with fake wood but the entire station wagon market segment. Just as well as by 1983 when National Lampoon's "Vacation" premiered, station wagons were long deemed out of step and behind the times. No wonder that boomers eschewed wagons for mini-vans although, one could argue that mini-vans were even more mom- and dad-ish than station wagons were. When the SUV gauntlet kicked in roughly a decade later, station wagon sales really imploded.
Ford's last "woodie" was their 1991 Country Squire and Mercury Colony Park. Above right is a '91 Country Squire. GM soldiered on with their fleet of woodies through 1996. Above, right, is a 1996 Buick Roadmaster Estate.
Chrysler, bless their hearts, had a "woodie" PT Cruiser in 2002 and 2004. Mercifully, no other vehicle manufacturer has thought to do a woodie since.
Which brings us around to our 1973 Chrysler Town and Country. This beast popped up on Facebook Marketplace and while I'm no fan of Chrysler fuselage models, its fake wood inspired me to do more than a diatribe about Chrysler's dubious 1969-1973 full-size cars.
Alas, this car doesn't have rear-facing (good lord!) jump seats, which were the end-all and be-all of my generation when we could fit in them. Ones that did, thankfully, came with seat belts although moms and dads had little luck getting us kiddos to wear them. Shoot, they wouldn't wear them either.
Here's our '73 from a Chrysler sales brochure in all its blocky, brand-new fuselage and simulated wood glory. Not quite sure what the dude with the falcon plans to do with the big bird once he's done doing whatever it is he's doing with it. There's no cage for the thing in the car although the car is big enough for flock of them.
The Facebook Marketplace ad for this has a $4,500 asking price. Not unreasonable considering what appears to be its overall solid condition. Ironically, about the only "need-to" would be replacing its simulated wood grain decals. You could certainly peel it off and simply repaint the car, but then it wouldn't be a 1973 Chrysler Town and Country.
If there's anything inaccurate about this blog please let me know. I spent over a month on this project and want to make sure everything is accurate. Happy trails. Thanks!
.jpg)
.jpg)
