I was a junior at St. John's University in New York when I took a course called "Marriage and The Lord". It was part of the religious curriculum St. John's required and it was in that class that I learned that the opposite of love is not, as many people would presume, hate, but rather indifference. Psychologically and physiologically, hate and love are the same thing but apathy? That's an entirely different ball game. That table set and, again, this is a car blog and not a theological debate, I don't hate the 1970 Buick Riviera. I wouldn't kick it out of my garage if by chance it ended up there somehow, but I know that I'd always want for something else instead. I found our subject car for sale on Craigslist in Cleveland, Ohio.
At the time I learned about the differences between love, hate and aparthy, I was dating a girl that I may have ended up marrying simply because she was the person I was dating as "the time to get married" approached. Truth of the matter was, I didn't love her. Didn't hate her either. Instead, I was in a sorry, miserable state of ambivalence that so many people live their entire lives in. Personally and professionally. That relationship was, again, like the bulbous rear end on this 1970 Buick Riviera. The fender skirts, or what some refer to as "spats", only adding insult to injury. It's somewhat interesting but it doesn't come close to the near perfection, in my opinion, of a 1966-1969 Riviera. I love me some Bill Mitchell era Buick but here's proof front and center that he was human just like the rest of us. By the way, I promptly ended that relationship. Ended it even before I had found someone else too.
Based on how poorly the 1970 Buick Riviera sold compared to the 1966-1969's that came before it, I wasn't alone being indifferent towards it either. What saves this particular car from the ignominy of its less than flattering hips is that at least it's a Riviera "GS", or "Gran Sport". The "GS" package denoting a "heavy duty" suspension that lowered the car an inch. That's a lot and no doubt makes this car less "floaty" by literally having less suspension travel. Not sure how much it actually improved handling overall since the "GS" package didn't come with a tire upgrade. I did call to ask to take it for a test drive. More on that in a second or two. Also, that lowered height does give this very large car more of a pronounced "haunch" than "lesser" Riviera's. That's a good thing as it helps to minimize the sheer bulk of the rear end. Dual exhausts were not a factory option and do seem out of place on a parade vehicle.
Bless her heart, that girl I was dating did do her best to save our relationship and make me happy but it just wasn't going to work because I was indifferent towards her. Just like this big old Riv can't be saved by it being a "GS". Were this even a 1969 Riviera GS with an asking price of just $6,000? I think our woebegotten 1977 Corvette might get listed on Craigslist but then again, a 1969 Riviera GS in this condition is not going to be listed for so little money. Incidentally, the "GS" package on the Riviera, also came with a 3:42.1, posi traction rear end replacing the stock if staid, 2.78:1 , single poke pumpkin. Quite the numerical step up and while no doubt helping to make the most of the new for 1970 455 cubic inch V-8's impressive 510 pound feet of torque, it did owners of these cars no favors at the gas pump. Then again, if you could have afforded a 1970 Buick Riviera, you probably weren't complaining about bad gas mileage. Figure 6-8 miles per gallon on average. I kid you not.
After I broke up with that girl I eventually lost contact with her. It was best. She'd turn into a blubbering mess every time she'd see me in the immediate weeks and months after I called everything off. She too went to St. John's. She seemed so bad off that I thought to myself, arrogantly, that I had damaged her and that she was destined for a sad, lonely, pitiful life. Ha. As if. She found me not too long ago on Facebook and turned out that she had found someone not too long after I had broken up with her, married him and they had two boys. Facebook photos painting a picture of what would appear to be happy family. So much for her sad, lonely life. Not unlike our big hipped Riv here. I called the number in the listing wanting to just take it for a spin. Why? Sorry. It's just what I do. I'm a big time waster for people. Anyway, I called the number and the car had been sold. Pretty quickly too as it turned out. I might be indifferent towards it but just like that guy who married my old girlfriend, not everyone is.