1995 Oldsmobile Aurora - The Last Oldsmobile

The latest jalopy my chief engineer is "storing" in the lot in the back of our compound is his father's 1995 Oldsmobile Aurora. Yes, this is literally and figuratively his father's Oldsmobile. 

Seeing how covered in tree sap it is and nests for various vermin safe to say it doesn't look like it's been running for quite some time. 

In many ways the Aurora was the last "real Oldsmobile" in that it no body panels would fit any other GM make or model and, just like back in the olden days, it was powered by a proprietary, division specific V-8 engine. 

In this case a Cadillac "Northstar" DOHC V-8 with a smaller bore; making the bore smaller actually made the engine heavier. It also suffered from the Northstar's penchant for blowing head gaskets. My chief attempted to get at the heads and gave up. Just as well. By the way, this car has just over 153,000 on its twenty-six year old ticket. Oldsmobile also built a V-6 engine based on the Northstar V-8 that blew up just as often. 

I remember seeing one for the first time at a new-car show back on Long Island in the mid-'90's and the feelings I had for it must have been what many felt when they saw GM's fabulously futuristic designs at Motorama's back in the 1950's. 

Darn thing looked like it could fly to the Mars and beyond! Still does. Ha. As if. 

Based on General Motors new-for-1995 GMX690 chassis or what became known as the "G-body", the Oldsmobile Aurora was supposed to be what the doctor ordered - a vehicle that could reinvigorate what had not twenty-years prior been a bastion of General Motors design and engineering prowess. 

Well, sales and marketing prowess. Let's be real. It wasn't as if Oldsmobile in the 1970's was shifting paradigms of what an automobile was; like they had done in the fifteen to twenty years or so after World War II. 

These only came in four-door guise; if you wanted a coupe you could buy a "G-body" Buick Riviera starting in 1996. 

Oldsmobile was once favored by 40-something's but by the mid-90''s, they wanted nothing to do with the brand. Only folks who did were those former 40-somethings who now in their 60's who were still faithful to the brand.

 

So bright did the Oldsmobile Aurora seem at its introduction that there were rumblings that GM was going to rename Oldsmobile "Aurora". 

Save for being a most interesting looking appliance, still is a photogenic beast, it wasn't that good of an automobile either. Too soft, too heavy and too slow, it wasn't much of a compelling option up against similarly priced options from Europe and Asia. Throw in an unreliable engine and it was just another nail in the coffin for Oldsmobile. 

Once we're back in the office full-time, right now that's slated to be October 11th, I'll bust his chops to get his junk out of our yard. Until then I'll let sleeping dogs lie and look forward to the next clunker he drags back here. 

1985 Rolls Royce Silver Spur - The Names have Been Changed

This is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. 

When I was a kid growing up in Baldwin, New York (Long Island), the "Jones" family living behind us had a number of what I deemed to be off-beat automobiles that looked liked nothing else in the neighborhood; I later deduced that their cars were Rolls-Royce's. Which was incredibly absurd considering how working-class the block was and their cars were worth more than their house, which was bigger and worth far more than anyone else's, was. 

They had late model Rolls' too; not thirty-seven year old rollers like this '85 Silver Spur for sale down I-71 a stretch in lovely Columbus, Ohio for what would seem a reasonable $7,000. But that's relative. After all, we're talking about a Rolls-Royce and one that the poster of the ad claims has some issues and apparently no documentation. 

Like I believe all Rolls-Royce's are, I thought their cars ungainly and homely. Odd inside and out as well. Seeing this one here brings that all back to me too. Still, I'd love to drive one and see what all the hub-bub was all about and ready for myself for a most ordinary of rides. Or nothing more special than the way my 2002 Chevrolet Monte Carlo rides and handles. If that sounds like reverse-elitism it's anything but. Trust me on that one. 

Costing more than $100,000 new back in the mid-1980's, this car still has quite the presence and makes a statement; although I'm not sure what that statement is - or was even back then. If Rolls' have ever been about anything it was saying, "I'm rich. Filthy. Stinking rich and have so much money to burn I don't know what to do with it so I've blown a chunk of it on a car." 

Like many an old car, these in particular are not for the faint of heart. The poster of the ad on Facebook Marketplace claims the car needs an oil pump. An oil pum[, really? Just replace the damn thing, mate! Right? 

Well, not so fast, sunshine. A used oil pump for that 6.75-liter, Rolls-Royce V-8 runs about a grand - just for the part. New? Good luck finding one and tearing into that lump to replace it is not something for us shade-trade, garage hack amateur mechanics could, would or should do. 

It's recommended only Rolls-Royce certified mechanics work on these things and good luck finding one. Or finding one that you won't have to melt your 401K down to bankroll the bills. 

Rolls-Royce's are famous for their "sophistication" and durability but if their maintenance has not been documented, like it apparently has not been on this thing, the advice of many is to stay away. A maxim to remember is that if you can't afford a good Rolls-Royce, you really can't a for a bad one. 

So, back to the "Jones'" and their gaggle of Rolls'; the Mr. had a Silver Spur like this while the Mrs. had a Corniche coupe in blue. They also had an in-ground pool, in a neighborhood dotted with above ground pools, cast growling lions on their on their front stoop, a jacuzzi, and my mother claimed their was a sauna in the attic. Their son and daughter, both of whom were more than ten years older than I was, were both private schooled. The family took multiple European family vacations every year too. 

Best is they couldn't have been nicer people. The only thing I recall my parents saying about what Mr. Jones did for a living was that he worked in construction specializing in pouring foundations for new homes. 

One day I saw Mrs. Jones pushing Mr. Jones through the park in a wheel chair; he had huge plaster casts on both legs. When I asked my mother if she knew what happened, she said he had been in a car accident and both of his knee caps were broken. Junior sleuth I was, I didn't see any damage to either of their two Roll's. 

1974 AMC Javelin - Gag Reflex

Seeing that I find most American Motors makes and models to be flat-out strange, while these cars are weird in many ways, their disparate if not derivative lines, dare I say, somehow work together to create a unique,  different and, through my foggy goggles, an aesthetically pleasing looking automobile. However, I'm perplexed by AMC's 1971-1974 Javelin as well. I see plenty about them to be drawn to while simultaneously they make me gag.   

Not unlike an unusually attractive member of a family whose members otherwise crack mirrors, I can't help but look at any Javelin, even the cleaner looking 1968-1970 models, and see nearly two-decades of missteps and foibles of the merger of small, off-beat, independent auto manufacturers that came before it. And knowing the end of the movie before I even see it, what they replaced these with only added insult to injury. 

I don't buy the notion that clothes make the man. Dress up in nice clothes all you want but you aren't foolin' anybody. 

 

1969 Dodge Charger - Good Ole Boy

I can't complain about how insane prices are for used cars these days seeing I just sold my somewhat rusty but still very solid 2006 Chevrolet Tahoe LT with more than 153,000 on its clock for $6,000. Still, I find the $25,000 asking price for this 1969, non running and non-numbers matching, 1969 Dodge Charger R/T to be laughably absurd. 

I can't fault the poster of the ad on Facebook Marketplace for asking that amount but I would seriously question the mental health or business acumen of an individual who would spent that kind of money for this. "Rollers" are hard to put a price tag on and this one might be better than most but I have to imagine this one is overpriced. Make that way overpriced. 

Unless the buyer can do all of the restoration work themselves, factoring in the cost of labor and parts, this is going to be one very expensive restoration. Then, possibly, whomever buys it might have a gem on their hands that might be worth around $60,000. Sorry, that's a big if. 

Resto-rat-mod this cost effectively and it would be something unique and interesting. Not every old car that's beat to death needs a Concours quality restoration. I don't get spending $60,000 to make $60,000 or make something worth $60,000 that'll be something you'd be afraid to drive. Flipping cars is a dicey game too - especially bombs from up here that are rusty. Like this thing is. 

I get that on a list of top-ten "gotta have it" muscle cars from back in the day, one of these would be sitting at or near the top of it. But man, it needs everything. 

Dodge's first Charger in 1966 looked more like an over-sized AMC Marlin than a competitor to peel buyers away from any GM muscle car; Dodge didn't get a "pony car" until 1970.  Fastbacks in general and in particular on (nearly) full-size cars are tough putts and the '66 and '67 Charger is case in point. I mean, this thing looks cross between a station wagon and a Coronet with an Oldsmobile Toronado's tumble-home thrown in. 

Dodge built the Charger on Chrysler's B-body platform that traces its heritage (or infamy) back to Chrysler's abortive 1962 downsizing of Dodge and Plymouth models. When Chrysler "upsized" in 1965 they kept the B-body around as a defacto intermediate. 

After two years of stubbing their bumpers, they got it oh-so-right in '68 with these beauties. Being featured in the 1968 Steve McQueen cop movie "Bullitt" may have had something to do with popularizing them as well. Sales stunk for the '66-'67 models but they were actually quite good in 1968 and 1969. 

        

Further helping to popularize these cars is that they were featured in the TV show, "The Dukes of Hazard" that ran from 1979 through 1985. Legend has it anywhere from 255 to 325 1968 and 1969 Dodge Chargers were used in the show's production. 1970 Charger's, that do not have the '68 and '69 Charger's "sugar scoop" or "tunnel-ram" rear window treatment, were not used although the Charger's featured in 2005 movie were all 1970 Chargers. 

Ok, so, the details on this thing: apparently this is a "real" Charger (whatever that means), the engine is "correct" but not original nor is it running, the paint is original and remarkably so, trunk pan is rotted out, rear quarter panels are shot, rear frame rails need work, driver's foot well is "Fred Flinstone'd" but the torsion bar mounts are supposedly in good shape. Oh, and it's filthy and the wheels are historically incorrect. 

Aside from all that, Mrs. Kennedy, what did you think of Dallas? 

If you know all that and still think this a bargain and you actually know better than I do, perhaps I'm the moron. Hey, that's a distinct possibility but in this case, I don't think so. 

 

1978 Oldsmobile Cutlass - Chevymobile

Back in the late 1970's General Motors found themselves in a bit of hot water for not disclosing they were using Chevrolet engines in Oldsmobile's. It blew over quickly as the 10,000 or so buyers who bought new Oldsmobile's prior to a certain date, that were powered with Chevrolet engines as opposed to Oldsmobile's, getting a warranty extension or $550 refund. All in, there were more than 75,000 1977 Oldsmobile's that were powered by Chevrolet built engines. 

I remember my father quite upset by it as his generation in particular was ram-rodded by GM into believing in Alfred Sloan's venerated if not vaunted "pricing ladder". In short, that an Oldsmobile was somehow superior to a Chevrolet and that would include everything about one from the bumpers to the engine. In reality, though, the only thing an Oldsmobile had going over a comparable Chevrolet was a higher price tag. 

This 1978 Oldsmobile Cutlass is powered by a Chevrolet built, 305 cubic-inch V-8 and from the looks of things, someone seems quite proud of that fact too. As they should. The Chevrolet small block V-8, in it's original iteration or one of its many variations, was and is a great engine especially with regards to being reliable and durable.  

The controversy centered around Oldsmobile's new-for-1977 "88" models. Oldsmobile fit many of them with Chevrolet 350 cubic-inch V-8's as opposed to venerated Oldsmobile "Rockets". The actual reason why they did that has never been disclosed although I surmise Chevrolet engines were less expensive to manufacture than the Oldsmobile's. Again, to a generation reared on an Oldsmobile axiom that it was superior to a Chevrolet, such things were heretic. 

Our Cutlass here stuffed with a Chevy actually makes sense since at the time, Oldsmobile didn't make an engine with that magic number of five-liter's of engine displacement that was seemingly the go-to in many a late '70's to early '80's GM make. Oldsmobile "buying" 305's from Chevrolet before they eventually built their own "five-point-oh" starting in 1980. Buick didn't build one either so they "bought" 5-liter engines from Pontiac as well as Chevrolet. For the record, the Pontiac mill displaced 4.9 liters or 302 cubic-inches; someone at GM thought buyers would think the "Pontiac 302" was a Ford engine so they claimed it displaced 301 cubic-inches. 

No one made a federal case of that fact or got a rebate, refund or extended warranty either. 

Compared to the Oldsmobile diesel engine fiasco that was brewing when this '78 Cutlass wore its original paint scheme, it may have been white but the gold trim is certainly not O.G., the "Chevymobile" controversy was relatively inconsequential. Besides, GM had been using four and six-cylinder engines in vehicle makes and models built by other divisions for years so the great "V-8 debate" rings fairly hollow and wreaks of profiteering on the part of the whistle blowers. 

Still, GM should have been more transparent with the switch-a-roo. 

Cadillac even used an Oldsmobile engine in their 1975 Seville albeit it was fitted with Bendix fuel-injection that was exclusive to Cadillac making it, I guess, not an "Oldsmobile" and more like a "Cad-mobile"? 

 

2006 Chevrolet Tahoe - Sold on Facebook Marketplace

Well, said g'bye to this good old boy last Saturday. It's our semi-long in the tooth '06 Chevy Tahoe and I got what I wanted for it but it's bittersweet. Had the big sum bitch for going on twelve years and we have so many great family memories in it. I have a lot of memories of it breaking too and times I wanted to drive it onto a frozen Lake Erie and have it sink to the bottom when the ice thawed and broke under it.  Especially the countless times the god forsaken "check engine" light came on. I swear, instead of a little engine popping up it should be a dollar sign. 

I sold it on my new favorite online shopping and selling site, "Facebook Marketplace". Have you tried this thing yet? Seriously, it's amazing and makes Craigslist look like the creepy garage sale shit show that we've always thought it was. What makes Facebook Marketplace so wonderful is you first have to be a member of Facebook; for some reason that makes everyone on there behave. Well, behave for the most part. 

Just like Craigslist, "Marketplace" has it's fair share of rude, illiterate morons. I love listings where the poster will write, "I will not respond to is it available" and "don't low-ball me I know what I have". As if such inquiries from folks browsing was a crime. If you ignore all those inquiries you might miss a person who's seriously interested in what you're selling and could be "the one". Yes, it's annoying to some degree but at least you know your ad is getting engagement. And getting engagement is half the battle if not the "fun" of selling something on Marketplace. Respond back politely. 

I've now sold three cars on Marketplace and a slew of household items and I can tell you that you do need to patient because it can take a while; but it's worth it in the end. For instance, when I sold my son's 1996 Chevrolet Camaro a couple of years ago, a Chevrolet dealership offered us $500 for it as a trade-in. I asked $2,500 for it on Marketplace and got $2,300. Not bad. Although, it took over two months to find someone who was looking for such a car. Again, be patient. 

The Tahoe actually went fairly quickly. After I had swapped the water pump and wheel bearings, I listed it with a price not three weeks ago I thought fair ($,6000) and posted the ad with plenty of photographs like these (from the actual ad) of the inside and outside even highlighting the surface rust on the lower frame rails above the running boards. You're just wasting your time if you don't disclose as much about what you're selling as possible. 

Then I sat back and responded, always politely, to the myriad inquiries about whether it was available or not with a most pleasant, "yes, it is". Even low-ballers got a polite response like, "sorry, it's not worth it to me to let it go for (example) $3,000. I might as well keep it". Which was the truth since. 

There was the guy who buys and flips older vehicles sarcastically chiding me over my asking price that he deemed too high for a "truck with rust". His repeated jabs went unanswered and he finally stopped. Best was the kid who asked me if he could pay for it in installments. Sorry, kiddo, I ain't no bank. I didn't say that, of course, but you will get your fair share of nutty questions and you can't blame someone for asking. Perhaps some people would do that. 

In the end our family stead went to a wonderful young military guy who thought he'd roped the moon when he saw it and drove it. His father's a mechanic and came with him who told me he was impressed at what great shape it was in for it's age and mileage. 

I didn't tell him how many of the repairs I did myself or that the emissions system was just a blink of an eye from going belly up again. Happy trails!