2000 Cadillac Eldorado ETC - Somebody Else's Problem

This 2000 Cadillac Eldorado ETC (Eldorado Touring Coupe) came up in my latest "cheap car search" this past weekend. With 90,000 miles on its twenty-two-year-old digital odometer and with an asking price of just $6,995, on paper at least, this is the car of my dreams. Knowing how an innocent enough find can turn into something, for better or for worse, I made the forty-minute drive to see and test drive it. I did more than kick its tires too. I didn't abuse the car, per se, that would be, ahem, childish, but I did feel like 17-year-old me again standing on a powerful car for the first time. Gosh, do kids beat on their parent's cars anymore? 

Long and short, I wasn't so much disappointed with this car as I found it underwhelming. And it wasn't like the fact the air conditioner compressor was seized up, the power antenna wouldn't go up and the passenger side window wouldn't go down from the driver's door switch had anything to do with my ambivalence towards it either. Nope. While it was a whole lot more put together and sorted out than the Eldorado ESC I drove about a year ago, what a bomb that thing was, I found it "just ok". The ride was rather squishy, the brakes felt vague, steering had minimal feel when I leaned into it on highway on and off ramps too. The car felt enormous and not in a good way; I used to love big cars, what's gotten into me? Even when I tried to put the gas pedal through the firewall, the experience of spooling up the 300-hp Northstar V-8 wasn't as visceral as I thought it would be. This boat weighing in on the dark side of two tons no doubt had a lot to do with that but has speed and power become such a commodity that I'm not impressed by it anymore? 

Maybe the "Magnasteer" Speed Sensitive Steering, Continuously Variable Road Sensing Suspension, Stabiltrack Chassis Control and Electronic Level Control had all seen better days. All that stuff helping to jack up the original MSRP to more than $46,000. Holy smokes. Much like on any car portending to be a high-end luxury car, all that gear is scary expensive to repair. Frankly, I don't think they make for an altogether "better car" or one that's reliable and durable either. I've never seen a Cadillac of this vintage with the kind of miles my 2002 Dale Earnhardt Chevrolet Monte Carlo has on it: 253,000 and counting.  Seriously, have you? Could it be because stuff like "Stabiltrack" and what not cost too damn much to repair? The owner of the lot where this was said he had about $3,000 into it already and was just trying to recoup some of what he spent. I think it's going to need at least that much more to really get it right. 

Despite it being really soft, the ride was pleasant, though and I wouldn't mind it on my insanely long commute to and from the office. Cross country drives as well. The seats were like thrones and the leather was luscious. I loved the color combination too even if it felt a little too "old man-ish" for me. 

Unlike most people, I can talk myself out of just about anything. And to jump out of my matronly but beloved 2002 Dale Earnhardt Chevrolet Monte Carlo and into this simply because I could, didn't seem to me like the best use of my time and dollars. Had this sucked my bifocals off perhaps I'd think differently. Besides, I like the way my Dale rides and handles better. I really do. It might want for another fifty to a hundred more horsepower but aside from that, it's a comfy old shoe that gives me just enough steering wheel feedback to keep things somewhat entertaining. 

I'm glad I spent the afternoon with this handsome oldie, though. I got it out of my system, and I'll never be plagued with the dreaded "what if's" or "woulda-shoulda's". If this is about as good as these are these days, best I stick to what I know and keep the Dale around. And when the head gasket finally blows on this big aluminum lump, it'll be someone else's problem. 

This vintage of Eldorado was the last go-round for Cadillac's "personal luxury car" that was first introduced in 1953 as a show car to celebrate Cadillac's fiftieth anniversary. Introduced in 1992, it was based on the E-body chassis that Cadillac rolled out to disastrous results in 1986. Eleven inches longer than the model it replaced, Cadillac welding on three inches to the stubby '86 models in 1989 too, Cadillac made incremental changes to it through 2002. By then, the personal luxury car market had all but dried up. The last vestige of one meeting the grim reaper after model year 2007. That being, ironically enough, the Chevrolet Monte Carlo. 

 

1995 Oldsmobile Aurora - The Last Oldsmobile

The latest jalopy my chief engineer is "storing" in the lot in the back of our compound is his father's 1995 Oldsmobile Aurora. Yes, this is literally and figuratively his father's Oldsmobile. 

Seeing how covered in tree sap it is and nests for various vermin safe to say it doesn't look like it's been running for quite some time. 

In many ways the Aurora was the last "real Oldsmobile" in that it no body panels would fit any other GM make or model and, just like back in the olden days, it was powered by a proprietary, division specific V-8 engine. 

In this case a Cadillac "Northstar" DOHC V-8 with a smaller bore; making the bore smaller actually made the engine heavier. It also suffered from the Northstar's penchant for blowing head gaskets. My chief attempted to get at the heads and gave up. Just as well. By the way, this car has just over 153,000 on its twenty-six year old ticket. Oldsmobile also built a V-6 engine based on the Northstar V-8 that blew up just as often. 

I remember seeing one for the first time at a new-car show back on Long Island in the mid-'90's and the feelings I had for it must have been what many felt when they saw GM's fabulously futuristic designs at Motorama's back in the 1950's. 

Darn thing looked like it could fly to the Mars and beyond! Still does. Ha. As if. 

Based on General Motors new-for-1995 GMX690 chassis or what became known as the "G-body", the Oldsmobile Aurora was supposed to be what the doctor ordered - a vehicle that could reinvigorate what had not twenty-years prior been a bastion of General Motors design and engineering prowess. 

Well, sales and marketing prowess. Let's be real. It wasn't as if Oldsmobile in the 1970's was shifting paradigms of what an automobile was; like they had done in the fifteen to twenty years or so after World War II. 

These only came in four-door guise; if you wanted a coupe you could buy a "G-body" Buick Riviera starting in 1996. 

Oldsmobile was once favored by 40-something's but by the mid-90''s, they wanted nothing to do with the brand. Only folks who did were those former 40-somethings who now in their 60's who were still faithful to the brand.

 

So bright did the Oldsmobile Aurora seem at its introduction that there were rumblings that GM was going to rename Oldsmobile "Aurora". 

Save for being a most interesting looking appliance, still is a photogenic beast, it wasn't that good of an automobile either. Too soft, too heavy and too slow, it wasn't much of a compelling option up against similarly priced options from Europe and Asia. Throw in an unreliable engine and it was just another nail in the coffin for Oldsmobile. 

Once we're back in the office full-time, right now that's slated to be October 11th, I'll bust his chops to get his junk out of our yard. Until then I'll let sleeping dogs lie and look forward to the next clunker he drags back here. 

2000 Cadillac Eldorado ESC - Don't Smoke

Sometimes I write first about a car I've found and add photos after I'm done. Well, when I went to add photos of the 2000 Cadillac Eldorado ESC I had test driven the other day from the dealer site I found the car was gone. My bad for not taking photos when I had the car in my hands. This 2000 Eldorado ESC in the same color scheme but hardly the same condition stands in for it.

I love Cadillac's twelfth and last generation of their storied Eldorado, especially the 1996-2002's with the updated center dash\console design, but I've never driven one. Well, that changed the other afternoon as I got behind a 2000 ESC for sale at a Kia dealership south of Canton, Ohio with an asking price of $4,950 and just 87,000 miles on its digital odometer. Thinking this could be the second coming of our 1995 Lexus SC400 purchase, I saddled up the Monte Carlo for a long afternoon drive south. 

When I first pulled into the dealership, bless their hearts they had it out front waiting for me, it was love at first sight. For about thirty seconds. The front air dam was broken, I didn't notice that in the pictures online but in the flesh it was obvious the photographer finagled it to appear as non-broken as possible. I quickly surmised that it was a five-thousand dollar car. She ain't going to be perfect although finding a replacement for the spoiler wouldn't be cheap. 

Then I saw rust spots on both rear quarter panels and even with both windows down I smelled the kiss-of-death, the interior smelled of stale cigarettes. You know, not to preach since I used to smoke, but smoking in your car is about the worst thing you can do to your car - let alone yourself. The more you smoke in it, the worse the stench and even though there are devices designed to remove car odors, even the best of them running for several days can't remove all remains of someone's smokey treats; that odor will always be there and the car will always be a rolling ashtray.  My bad. I didn't ask if the car was a "smoker" or not and it most certainly was. Still, with the deal gone south for me and more than a good hour and forty-five minutes spent getting there and an even longer traipse back home, I wasn't about to waste the opportunity to drive one of my vehicular idols. Especially with no salesperson accompanying me.  

The big old grand dame fired right up with the flick of her old school (and oh-so-problematic) GM Pass-Key ignition, her 4.6-liter, two-hundred seventy-five horsepower Northstar barking to a life with a manly, guttural growl. Perhaps too guttural - I think there was an exhaust leak in front of the catalytic converter. Cheap fix. No biggie and there was no check engine light on. Or the dealership reset it. Oh, who cares. I wasn't buying the lump anyway. 

I dropped her into drive and tapped the gas to move her away from the dealership and onto the fairly busy main drag of bustling and hustling Alliance, Ohio. The blast of torque she had off idle reminded me of big old yank tanks of yore. Was I driving a 1968 Cadillac with a fairly smog gear free 472?  Let's get this thing on the highway!

Before I did that I tested the air-conditioning - no dice. The compressor clicked on and the fan blew air but it was warmer than the ninety-degree air outside. What's more, a scrolling message on the dash said, "WARNING LOW REFRIGERANT SERVICE SOON". It was followed by another cryptic scroll, "SECURITY SYSTEM MALFUNCTION. CAR MAY NOT RESTART". Damn the torpedo, son. You're driving a twelfth-gen Eldorado.

Sadly, her handling was a mess - even at low speeds. She pulled to the right, brakes were sloppy with very long pedal travel, struts were dead, I could swear the right rear wheel bearing was squeaking too. Still, I could tell that when she was less worn out she must have been everything if not more than I expected her to be. I mean, I had all but convinced myself she'd be much like our '95 Lexus SC400, that being smooth, subdued but at the end of the day sort of dull, but I could tell she was a lot more interesting to drive. There was an edge to her manners, a gritty un-refinement of sorts that I find enthralling and endearing; our '77 Corvette has buckets of that mojo and it's what makes the car so fun. That might be an extreme example of what I'm referring to but the bottom line you have to drive that car as opposed to it all but driving itself. Our beloved Lexus smooths out all edges and while it's a great cruiser, doesn't make for that interesting a ride. Cars are so perfect today the actual fun of driving is all but varnished over. That worn out Eldorado was like an old athlete - they may lose some of their zeal but, thankfully, not all of it. 

For the money, were it not for the cigarette smell, I may have done enough mental gymnastics to maybe negotiate the price down further. The brakes, shocks and handling issues I can handle myself. I've got an exhaust shop in Cleveland that could fix the barking exhaust on the cheap. The A/C and the blasted PASS-KEY issues? I'd take that kick to the wallet. Fixing the rust wouldn't be cheap either. The front air dam? Ok. That too. 

But the gross cigarette smell killed the deal for me and that was too bad. I gave the sales kid a rundown after I told him I thought the car was a little too "rough for me" and I implied "rough", in that context, was not a good thing. Car was gone the next day, though. Sold or sent to auction? Who knows but I'm more vexed by these cars than ever. Our stand in might be a possibility; she has but 29,000 on her and has an asking price of $16,500. That's a lot of car for the money especially if the Northstar's head gasket issues have been sorted out. But the wife would kill me. 

2000 Cadillac Eldorado - When Are You Going To Pick It Up?

I've had my eyes open for one of these Cadillac Eldorado's since they went on sale back in 1992. GM hasn't made them since 2002 so they're getting very rare and the ones I've found up here in Cleveland have been rust buckets so imagine how excited I was when my latest "cheap car search" unveiled this rust-free 2000 "ESC" with just 98,000 miles on it and an asking price of under four-grand. Let's go! 

Sadly, the earliest versions of these cars are actually the ones you want to get your hands on. Those being the ones with the 4.9 liter V-8 engine that started out as the infamous "HT4100" mess than inhaled head gaskets like Cheeto's and couldn't punch a hole in a soaking wet Kleenex. GM eventually worked out most of the kinks and made it into what they should have had from the get go but the problem is the interiors of those 1992 and 1993 4.9 liter versions screams 1980's; GM updated the interior for 1996. Furthermore, just as GM got the old HT4100 right they came out with their "world-beating" Northstar V-8 that while a strong performer out of the box, was just as notorious if not worse than the old HT4100 was for catastrophic failure. However, rumor has it GM fixed those issues come model year 2000. For the record, "Northstar" replaced the old 4.9 in the Eldorado ETC  (Eldorado Touring Coupe) for 1993 and a somewhat less potent version of it was put in place for the "ESC" (Eldorado Sports Coupe) for 1994.  

So, with the improved interior and fortified Northstar this silver fox thought he'd spend an afternoon  after working from home with this silver fox. 

To say I was somewhat dismayed when I realized this car was a good ten footer is an understatement. The driver's door would not close properly without slamming it shut nor was the left side of the hood aligned with the fender properly. Bolts on the top of the fender weren't centered in their holes either - this thing's been in an accident although the CarFax said nothing about one. 

More driver's door shenanigans - there was water in the cutout on the armrest for the door pull and the power lock switch was pushed out behind the bezel. Worse yet, the bezel was loose so it looked like someone had tried to fix it but gave up. Ok. Simple enough stuff. No biggie. Bargaining chips if anything. 

She fired right up and had the smooth, manly growl I love but the check engine light was on. Lovely. Then I noticed the ABS and Traction Control Lights were also on along with the Service Tire Pressure Monitor warning. Oh, brother. And the AC wouldn't blow cold. Another scrolling message on the dash saying that the refrigerant was gone. Thanks for the update. 

Out on the road is where things got really, really bad. The car had no pickup. I mean, none. I told my very nice and accommodating "product specialist" who came with me that the lack of power reminded me of the "HT4100" powered two-ton Cadillac's from the early '80's. I mean, this thing had trouble getting out of first gear! Worse yet, when I'd floor the gas peddle an ominous yet flaccid roar came from the left side of the engine and that damn check engine started blinking. Blinking! That's not good. Suffice to say I'd venture to guess the head gasket or gaskets were gone on this thing. Yes, an engine with a bad head gasket will turn over and run, but with the compression shot in one if not both banks, the engine makes little to no power. If you can find a mechanic who'll do head gaskets on a Northstar you're looking at around seven thousand dollars. Good luck finding a junker to swap and I've yet to see anyone swap a 3800 V-6 into one of these. What a shame. For us fans of these cars there are few other cars like them. 

We limped back into the dealership with the Northstar losing even more power the warmer it got. I swear it had trouble getting up the curb cutout to get into the parking lot. My sales guy telling me that the row of cars this was in was their "auction row" of cars that they don't check anything on. So, at that, four-grand or so was all the money in the world for a worn the hell out old Cadillac that needs just about everything. Even at a thousand dollars this car's a useless money pit. 

He joked through his mask as he elbow bumped goodbye, "so, when are going to pick it up?"