About a year and half ago or so I was, like many people, a daily Facebook poster. It was part of my daily routine to post not only, what I thought at least, where clever, funny and insightful status updates but status updates that kept my Facebook "friends" up to date on what was going on in my life both personally or professionally. The occasional photo or two (or three or twenty five) also let "my flock" know just how peachy keen, god damn awesome everything in my life was. Furthermore, my sharing of posts and links, all from my wildly divergent interests, ensured me that my Facebook constituency would know that I was brilliant, hilarious, insightful, warm, tender and god fearing. Or, lest not kid ourselves, at least that was what I thought, unconsciously, I was trying to be.
Facebook used to drive my wife nuts. She'd scream at her computer screen over a couple or family we'd know, that we were supposedly friends with in "real life", posting picture after picture of fantastic trips they took or their brand new cars or the latest accomplishments of their oh-so-adorable 1.8 children. The bragging, subtle or not so subtle, was obvious but my wife in the heat of the moment couldn't see it; no one's life is as perfect as what it would appear to be on Facebook. For the same reasons you can't believe that your next door neighbor would purchase a $60,000 car just to make you jealous, you can't believe anyone would post something on Facebook just to show off. Then again, when you think about it, isn't that, innocently at times, what Facebook is all about? Showing off? Sorry. Same goes for those who ejaculate about how miserable their life is or something tragic that's happened to them. The incessant need for attention comes from the same place emotionally and mentally. I find it hard to believe that if something truly soul rupturingly terrible happened to someone that they would post it on Facebook.
I found Facebook a satisfying creative outlet, I had a ball posting pictures and updating my status on what was going on in my life. Especially when I got a high level of engagement. I rest assured, though, that there were plenty of times someone looked at what I posted and slammed their laptop lid or whispered in disgust in a fit of blind jealously. As much as an actor loves the stage he also loves the audience and their reaction. On Facebook, we're all actors.
I don't fancy myself so much an actor as I do an artist; the difference lies in that an artist doesn't need the approval of others. Attention is nice, of course (to a point) but its not what drives "us" emotionally. It's the work, the art, the process that satisfies; not approval.
To that end on Facebook it doesn't matter because it's how people interpret what you post. It's not what you meant, it's what people think. With you displaying your entire life out there, you have to be conscious of how people are going to react since everything you put out there becomes part of the mosaic of who you are not so much as a person, but what people see you as. That's a slippery slope I'd just as soon stay off.
I heard an interesting interview recently of a pop act, wish I could remember who, where one of the terribly articulate young gentlemen in the group said that they work hard to make sure that their fame doesn't change who they are; that they don't turn into something that the public thinks they are. While that's smart and dangerous for business all at the same time, I'm sure their label and management went into preventive spin mode when they heard that, the truth is many times we push stuff out there on Facebook without really thinking how people will or are interpreting it. Are we really that person or are we putting on an act that we can't live up to in our real lives? Can we live up to what people think we are? If they think negatively of us, can we ever live that down?
A big issue that I have with Facebook, and I'm guilty of this and I am accountable, is that when you have a vast "friends list" as I have from as many different corners of my life as I do, you really don't want everyone seeing everything you post. So, I had gotten selective as to who would see what. Usually, that group would be my immediate family and the closest of "real life" friends. That grew tiresome because it's a pain to filter each post and unfilter posts for posts that you want "everyone" to see. In the end if I was doing something worth sharing I'd end up texting the people who I wanted to have see it. If they pushed it out to Facebook and tagged me that was on them. We all know people who post every last damn thing that goes on in their lives and we silently begrudge them for it. I decided to not even be a possible pebble on that mountain of bullshit. While I still have a Facebook account I use it more as a newsfeed based on what I like. I rarely if ever post anymore. And I couldn't be happier.
Kids today don't use Facebook and they're luke warm to Twitter. They prefer texting. It's immediate and highly customizable via group texting. Social media is here to stay; once something is embraced by the masses there's no turning back but kids today, those bellwethers of future cool, are ahead of the curve. They realized quickly they we don't need to be as dialed into each other as we thought we once needed to be. The people whose opinion I cherish most get to see what I have going on.
Now, if we all just stuck to posting youtube cat videos on Facebook I might think of going back.
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