This handsome little gem, which had a bid of a mere $3050 with three days left to go on ebay as I wrote this, reminds me of a gorgeous girl I dated years ago before I met the woman who would become my wife. Let's call her "Cindy". Cindy was everything a young man of 21 or 22 was looking for; very attractive, friendly and most importantly albeit self centeredly, absolutely in love with me. However, much like this Regal, she lacked the one thing that has always been most important to me; she had no personality what-so-ever. Shame too considering how attractive she was much like this little Buick.
The early 1980's were dark ages for American automobile performance and this car was atypical of that lack of oomph. That lack of beans all in the interest of better gas mileage. The culprit for that lack of scoot in the interest of mpg was Buick's 110 horsepower, 231 cubic inch V-6. Coupled with a 2.29:1 rear axle, this car's acceleration was best described at best leisurely. A sudden jolt of torque off the line gave the impression that there was something more underfoot but that was all that it was; a momentary impression of something greater that just wasn't there. Floor the gas pedal on this car and it just doesn't want to play along. Cindy was the same way; a flash of moxy or sass to go along with dangerously good looks. But that flash was all she had, she had nothing more to give.
The rest of this car's driving dynamics were again atypical of what was offered at the time; mushy, slow, uninspiring. Dull. If ever there was a wallflower of a car, this was it. Cindy was hardly mushy or slow but I found her lack of real chutzpah boring. It didn't take long for me to realize that no matter how hard Cindy worked at attempting to make me happy, it, or "we" was just not going to happen. She was a wallflower. Nothing wrong in that but like this Regal, not for me despite being everything on the surface I could ask for. Great looks and it's a two door? Fabulous looks and oh, did I mention she was a blonde? What's not to love? Right.
So, what happens to a wallflower like this old boring but pretty Buick? At $3,000 it would seem that there are quite a few people out there who feel the same way. For certain, if this was a turbo engine '83 Grand National instead, its selling price would be at least twice if not three times more; especially if it was in mint, original condition like this. I'd grab it and swap a real engine into but that drives the overall cost up significantly. Someone is going to get a very nice looking but wholly uninspiring automobile at a fair price. And they will probably be very happy with it. There are people out there who love wallflowers.
So, what happened to Cindy? A couple of years ago I accepted her Facebook friend request if for no other reason than morbid curiosity. Had she holed herself up in an apartment in her parent's basement and worked as a librarian? Hardly. Refreshingly enough, she had gotten married to a handsome man who, from the pictures she has on Facebook, was very devoted to her and loved her. They even had two kids that she appeared to adore. Good for her that some guys love wallflowers.
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