Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Good Parent - Giving Your Children What They Need, Not What They Want

Towards the end of the classic 1971 film, "Willie Wonka and The Chocolate Factory", based on the book of the same name, the ususally affable Mr. Wonka flies into a rage at Charlie and Grandpa Joe for stealing Fizzie Lifting Drink.



In this scene, the most powerful and significant in the entire film, Mr. Wonka gives Charlie what he needs as opposed to what Charlie wants

Wonka, from what we gather, is not a parent. However, if he were, would be the kind of father that we would all benefit greatly from.

If we've done our jobs as parents, children understand that we only want what's best for them and only do things for them, including disciplining them, with that - and only that - in mind.

It's understandable why children would want to disconnect from their parents after being disciplined. After all, they're human beings; us parents don't like being disciplined any more than they do. If children understand that we only want what's best for them, the amount of time it takes for them to accept their discipline and eventually appreciate the lesson learned. The more they understand their parents role in their lives, the quicker said acceptance and appreciation.

It's at this crux that Mr. Wonka conveys what he wants Charlie to do. One could argue that his bed side manner rude and insensitive, but Wonka is clearly heartbroken at having to discipline Charlie. It's obvious he had Charlie in mind to be the winner all along. Wonka doesn't shirk his responisility as a parent and as harsh as it may seem, tests Charlie effectively.

Charlie gets the message and passes the test with flying colors. It's at this edge that many parents fail as parents and sadly, ultimately, fail their children.

Remember, we're their parents, not their friends. Give your children what they need.

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