1972 Chevrolet Impala - I, Don Quioxte

Many child psychologists theorize that our ability to reason develops between the ages of 6 and 8. I believe that my ability to at least attempt to reason and be "fully aware" occurred around the time I was 8 years old. While I know that I was drawn to automobiles prior to my 8th birthday, the first automobile that I truly latched onto and was "fully aware" of, not unlike a baby chick bonding with the first thing it sees when it breaks through its egg shell, was a picture of a 1972 Impala sedan that I saw in a book on new cars that my brother had bought me for Christmas. When I saw a far more attractive two door Impala on the road, with my memory banks loaded with fresh, wet and very impressionable cement, the bond was instant and permanent. That's the only reason why I can think of why I would find such a hulking automobile that really does nothing well, to say nothing about how ordinary it looks, even remotely interesting.

Sadly, it's probably just part of human nature that whenever we get something that we've longed for, I mean, longed for, we quickly grow tired of it to the point that we become ambivalent. That's why I would never pursue one of these land yachts that have been one of my oldest and dearest automotive dreams for almost as long as I can remember. Being fully aware of human nature, I'd hate like hell to ever have one of these and be like, "meh, whatever." By the way, I'm not a convertible guy but if I was ever to happen across a '72 Impala and it was a convertible I wouldn't kick it out of my garage. In all of its massive, shuddering jigglieness. You ever drive one of these? If the the fixed roof models are a handful to drive just imagine how all over the place one sans its top would be.

Chevrolet's "standard" sized car went through a remarkable growth period in terms of physical size between 1955 and 1971. What started out as a relatively tidy, 196 inch long automobile in 1955, that's roughly the same size as a contemporay Toyota Camry, grew to 209 inches long by 1958, 213 inches for 1965 before ballooning to a whopping 220 inches for 1971. Add in the "safety bumpers" that began in 1973 and these behemoths measured more than 225 inches long before the great downsizing epoch of 1977. 

Blimps like this are what I grew up with and like that freshly hatched chick, this is what I accepted at a tender age and thought would be forever. Alas, I was wrong. Very. Wrong. In many ways, 1972 was a pivotal year for America as it was the last year of the post World War II boom this country experienced. It was the year before the shit hit the fan what with Watergate and its subsequent fallout and the first gas crunch just around the corner, just likethat, America went from being the envy of the world to being all but castrated. And no, our current situation is completely different - let's not go there. That castration or what some refer to as "malaise" lasting more than a decade. 1972 was also the year before the federally mandated safety bumpers became a garish reality and three years before the ignominy of catalytic converters. Funny how now we acknowledge that "cats" have gone a long way towards saving the environment. Anyway, at least the end of the Vietnam War was in sight 1972.

If I came of age to reason at 8 years old, I came of age to drive less then ten years later and I found these cars terrifying to drive. It wasn't that they handled poorly for certain they handled better than most people would give them credit for today; it was their sheer size that sent a chill down my back. Might as well have been an 18 wheeler as far as I was concerned. Seeing over that incredibly long hood, especially for someone of average height like myself meant that I hoped and prayed that I wouldn't hit anything when I drove anything this big. Still, I was and I am still drawn to these big ole beauties and like Don Quixote, will continue to love pure and chaste from afar. 

This '72 Impala with allegedly just 46,000 on the clock is for sale down in Miami with an asking price of $24,500. I would love to talk to the person that would drop serious mint condition Corvette money on something like this.