Volvo P1800 - Family Secrets

I kick myself over never asking that cook in the hospital kitchen I worked in when I was in college why he had one of these. Just as well. Rather than hear some story about it being an uncle's hand-me-down, just something he bought on the cheap or he bought it because he was a fan of some long off the air British TV show, I'd rather not know anything about why and how he came to have one. At best, I can only hope that he appreciated these cars for what they were and went to great lengths to keep it running.

For me personally, I've always loved them and could care less they were made famous in TV show. When I'd tell some people these are one of my favorite cars of all time, they look at me incredulously when I tell them I had no idea they were featured in some TV show.  My appreciation for these cars much like my young sons appreciating black and gold Pontiac Trans Am's without their having any idea they were made famous in some movie. After all, cool is cool and it's timeless.

Anyway, to people of a certain vintage, these Volvo's are memorable because Roger Moore's character in the 1960's British TV series, "The Saint" drove one. Also turns out he drove the car used in the series as his personal daily driver back then. Does begs the question as to whether or not he actually liked the car that much or it was all a publicity stunt for the show.

As far as the cars go, in the 1950's, legend has it Volvo wanted a sports car as a way to increase showroom traffic and shed what even back then was a dowdy, frumpy image. While their first attempt, a two passenger, plastic bodied, rolling bathtub called the Volvo Sport (above) was a complete failure, their second attempt became an instant classic.

Using a shortened wheelbase version of the already well established Volvo 122, Volvo commissioned Italian design house Pietra Frura to pen the lines of the 1800 - named for its 1.8 liter, in line four cylinder engine. What's odd is that while Pietra Frura came up with four designs for Volvo executives to choose from, the design Volvo chose was actually done by the son of Volvo's head of engineering who, another legend has it, was moonlighting as a designer at Pietra Frura. Weird. I know. Volvo kept the fact that their "Italian designed" sports car was actually designed by a Swede a secret for fifty years. Ah, but such is the stuff of family secrets, y'know?

Well, marketing the 1800 as "Italian designed" had to have part of the plan to make the car even more avant garde. Whomever designed these, and it's simple elegance bespeaks to a design done by a small group of designers if not indeed one person, came up with, arguably, one of the most beautiful and still to this day underappreciated automobile designs of the twentieth century. And, on top of all that, it's a forward thinking Volvo. Wow.

Adding to the 1800's mystique was that for most of its life, Volvo didn't have the factory capacity to produce them. From 1961-1968, "Pressed Steel", a British metal works company built the bodies and British car maker Jensen assembled those bodies to chassis, shells and running gear shipped from Sweden. So, a Volvo supposedly designed in Italy and built in England certainly made for what could be construed by some as a near exotic. Even if it was little more than a 122 with a sexy body bolted on it.

Despite the acclaim that the design of the 1800 got, though, regardless of whomever designed it, no other Volvo of the era, or since save, debatabley, for the "shooting brake" C30 they sold between 2007 and 2013, has shared any of its design moxie. That's a shame too considering how wonderful looking these cars were. Family secret and all.

1988 Volvo 240 - You'll Never Die In a Volvo

The other night I was westbound on the Ohio Turnpike southeast of Cleveland when some ass wipe in a late model Volvo S60 suddenly tucked up behind my rear bumper then jutted to his right and blew by me like a fighter jet catapulted off an air craft carrier. I assume it was a he because I've never seen a woman drive so recklessly. Now, while I begrudgingly respect that kind of athleticism and nerve behind the wheel, ultimately I resent it because if someone driving like that crashes, they'll probably take out more than just themselves. And, they're going to delay a whole bunch of people as well. That said, what struck me was that he was making those incredibly dangerous maneuvers in, of all things, a Volvo.

Back in my day, and I say this with tongue firmly in cheek, Volvo's where "boxy but good" and where driven by upstanding citizens who lived their lives as carefully and prudently as possibly. They certainly weren't the types of vehicles you'd drive at a break neck clip zig zagging in traffic either because, quite simply, they really couldn't be driven that way. Again, back in my day, Volvo's were known for being sensible, safety first vehicles. In fact, Volvo's been touting the virtues of safety going back to their origins in the 1920's.

My first experience with one stems from a two day jaunt with a friends baby blue, 1988 Volvo 240 in the early to mid '90's. Our subject here, which looks just like it, I believe is a 1992. I forget the circumstances behind why he lent me his car but being the car guy that I am, I've never turned down an opportunity to drive something I've never driven before.  Especially an automobile held in as high regard as an almighty Volvo whether I really needed the car or not. However, to say that I was underwhelmed by the experience was an understatement. Grateful for the loaner but not impressed with the car.

Not unlike not getting or appreciating a movie that the masses adore, I, for one, failed to see what the hub bub was about these cars. I found his 240 to be bog slow to the point I thought something was wrong with the engine and the handling to be truck like. I did find the drivers seat very comfortable, visibility to be excellent and for some reason I found the styling to be pleasant if not down right attractive. I still do. Especially the five door, 240 wagons. I just wish the darn thing drove and handled more like what I thought it would drive like. That being a BMW or a Mercedes from the era.

I'm not alone in that sentiment either. Contemporary road tests of 240's were not kind to their clumsy driving dynamics and moribund lack of pace. Then again, they were never intended to be any sort of sports sedan. Remarkably, they found buyers. Lots of them. Relatively speaking of course.

What made Volvo's memorable was their advanced safety engineering and Volvo, wisely and subtlety, marketed that their cars were "safer" than other cars. That marketing struck a chord with those people who were pragmatic and reasonable if not highly intelligent. They weren't adrenaline junkies juking in and out of traffic. Again, not that you could drive a Volvo aggressively even if you wanted to.

Volvo is often given credit for either inventing or refining many of the safety features on cars we take for granted today. Like safety cages, laminated glass, three-point seat belts, rear facing child seats, front and rear crumple zones, whiplash protection, side curtain airbags, blind spot information systems, electrical parking brakes, lane departure warning, pedestrian alert systems and of course, the proverbial "and much more".

By the late 1980's, though, as many manufacturers caught up to or surpassed Volvo's legacy for safety, about the only thing they had left going for them was the notion that, much in the same way wearing surgical scrubs or a white lab coat do, driving a Volvo raised a driver's perceived I.Q. That and the well earned public sentiment that you "won't die in a Volvo" were not exactly the bedrock upon which to continue to build forward thinking, advanced automobiles. In a world where every car was rapidly becoming a "Volvo", a substantial rethink of the brand was way overdue. We car wonks awaited with baited breath for a car that could fly from the wunder kids in Sweden.

It's not that everything Volvo came out with after 1992, like the 850 pictured here, wasn't a vastly superior automobile to the 240. The problem was nothing, which only in retrospect can be deemed damned near impossible to do, could achieve what the 240 did. Volvo set their own bar so high that they'd have to clear it to remain relevant. Due to mitigating circumstances like being sold to Ford and then to a Chinese conglomerate along with the sheer magnitude of the task, Volvo has continually failed to live up to what it had been. And that's too bad.

While Volvo's today can perform at levels that are nothing short of absurd, case in point that yahoo in a S60 on the turnpike the other night, they fail to offer anywhere near the cache of other aspirational brands. So, left alone to their own (styling) devices and without being able to rely on the real or perceived notion of safety or road going invincibility, Volvo, which these days sells about half the number of cars they did twenty years ago, is slowly melting away and runs the risk of not only remaining irrelevant but becoming extinct.

Based on what I saw the other night, and least they're now fast as hell and can handle like a slot car. And if Mr. Speedy McSpeedspeed crashes his Volvo at 100 miles per hour, he'll probably walk away from the wreck without a scratch. 

2020 Jeep Gladiator - Knock-Knock. Who's There?

I'm not a Jeep or truck person but amazingly, and despite its wretched name, I find love Jeep's new "Gladiator". Particularly these top of the line Rubicon's. Do I like them enough to buy one? Oh, hell no. But I like them enough that I wouldn't dissuade you from buying one if you can afford it.

Speaking of which, one of these fully loaded runs more than $55,000. I kid you not. The base model, what they call "Gladiator Sport", stickers north of thirty three grand and most will go out the door at more than forty. That's. Insane. Then again, I haven't bought a new vehicle in going on twenty years so I am, honestly, disconnected as to what new cars and trucks cost these days. But still, that said, fifty thousand dollars is a ton of money. Especially for a depreciating asset. Many a reviewer of these also sight how expensive they are so I'm not completely off base. Crunching raw numbers, a thirty six month lease payment on one comes out to around $1,500 a month, probably more. A sixty month term on a purchase puts you at more than $900. A month. Holy shit bombs. From a purely financial perspective these make absolutely no sense what-so-ever.

What I find amazing about these things is how much adding a pickup truck bed improves the overall look of the Wrangler Unlimited. They're like a sexy jack hammer that doubles as salad tongs. How I wish the rode and drove and sweet as they look. I haven't driven one yet but having spent considerable wheel time with Wrangler's in the past, I don't have much hope they'd float down the road like my old Lexus.

If the "Gladiator" name plate seems vaguely familiar to you, it means you're either a Jeep nerd or you're of a certain vintage. To most people, I have to imagine, "Gladiator" means to them either Russel Crowe's 2000 epic or the never funny, sophomoric "knock-knock" joke.

Those old Gladiators were big, brutish oh-so-manly trucks built off the same chassis Jeep built the original (and lovely) Wagoneer on. This new Gladiator is obviously an off shoot of the Wrangler "Unlimited" and is, sadly, only available as a four door. Check out this amazing looking two door Gladiator concept here. 

Jeep built the original Gladiator, technically, from 1963 through 1988 although they dropped the "Gladiator" name after 1971. Why? Probably because it's utterly ridiculous. From 1972-1988, Jeep just referred to them as the Jeep pickup or J-series. Their designs seem somewhat iconic now but they were really worn out by the time Jeep pulled the plug on them in 1988. Actually, Chrysler did shortly after they bought Jeep in 1987 from AMC; AMC having bought Jeep back in 1970. In retrospect, they were around for so long and blended into the landscape, like highly stylized anything tends to do, and they became as invisible as anything else on the road. Only in retrospect can we honestly appreciate them for the wonderful looking unique designs they were.

It wasn't the only pickup Jeep had ever built until the plucky Gladiator - they also built a small pickup they called "Comanche" from 1985-1992 based on the compact Cherokee - which is not to be confused with "Grand Cherokee". I guess they ran out of Indian names and were hesitant to plaster "Gladiator" on something until now. (He stifles a forced giggle. Don't ask why).

The Comanche was a (horrible looking) three box dork machine and Chrysler, whom, again, had bought out Jeep in 1987, mercifully killed it off after 1992 and they haven't built a Jeep pickup since. Some hypothesize that's because a Jeep pickup would compete directly with Dodge and Ram pickups. And when you think about it that makes sense. So, why'd they start now?

Well, no doubt because mid size pickups are molten hot right now; in particular the hot-rod, gussied up off road versions. What with the success of the GM's Chevrolet Colorado\GMC Canyon twins, the rebirth of the Ford Ranger and Toyota's Tacoma, amongst other new or newish offerings, Jeep wanted in on the fun. Chrysler, or should I say "FCA", amazingly, didn't have a mid size truck in their Ram lineup - "Dakota" ghosted from Dodge showrooms after 2011 and there's been nary a replacement since. FCA probably had this concept up their sleeve for years now waiting for the just right moment to launch.

Well, I guess that moment is now and this handsome devil is getting rave reviews despite, again, it's oh-my-god sticker price. And it's name. I'll blog again about a Gladiator if I ever get a chance to spend any serious wheel time with one rather than just copy and paste someone else's gobble dee gook notes and make it seem as though I drove one. Knock-knock. Who' there? 

1994 Cadillac deVille - Metamucil Infused Arnold Palmer

The other day I saw one of these on a flat bed tow truck. It didn't have any license plates on it so much like an ambulance with sirens and flashers off, yet has a patient on board, I knew that big old boy was off to its final resting place. As I drove behind it and noticed the car shimmying as the truck hit pot hold after pothole I realized that, oddly enough considering it was a four door sedan, I really liked the design of it and I wondered what could be so wrong with it that whomever last owned it saw it best to toss it away. I mean, seriously, how bad could it be? 

Introduced for 1994, these cars were famous for two reasons. First, because Cadillac had pulled the plug on the Coupe deVille for '94, they were the first Cadillac's to be called simply, "deVille". Secondly, Cadillac changed the chassis deVille was were based on from the "C-body", Buick Electra, Oldsmobile 98, etc, to the Cadillac exclusive "K-body" platform that also underpinned the Seville. They were also noted for being the first deVilles to have Cadillac's infamous NorthStar V-8 engine, some refer to it as "DeathStar", as an optional powerplant. By the way, I don't think the junker I saw on that flatbed had the NorthStar. 

After the better part of a decade of clumsy looking coupes and sedans, the '94 deVille finally really looked like something. Problem was, it looked like Cadillac's of yore and in retrospect, I'm not so sure that was a good thing. I mean, while I certainly find the design to be pleasant if not handsome, that's the Cadillac loving "old man" in me saying that and not someone who was in the well heeled position to be able to afford one when these were new. And if I was of the means back then, regardless of how old I was, I know that I probably would have shopped elsewhere. At least shopped let alone purchased a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Audi, Lexus or Infiniti instead. I mean, while these cars were by no means inexpensive when new, they were a relative bargain compared to what they portended to compete against. And when you're spending that much money on a car, what's another ten grand or so to put in your driveway what would really send the Jones' into an "eat-their-heart out" tizzy? 

So, the folks these cars catered to where the blue haired Cadillac faithful whom would never consider buying anything else. These cars certainly did nothing to "youth-up" Cadillac and if anything, reinforced that the brand was for oldsters. 

That was a shame too considering what robust, strong performing cars these were. NorthStar V-8 and all. They sat six, yes, six!, comfortably, took off like a freaking rocket ship even with the base, 200 horsepower 4.9 liter mill, got pretty good gas mileage considering their size, weight and power, and cornered and stopped in ways no other Cadillac four door, save for the '92 vintage Seville, had ever been able to do before. Slow down, Gramps! You'll spill your Metamucil infused Arnold Palmer. 

But, again, given a choice between one of these and say a mid level BMW 5-series, there was no choice. Especially for the under fifty crowd back then. Seriously, can you imagine a fifty year old executive willingly buying one of these back then? A company car? Sure. But buying one on their own? I think not. Sadly, many a "Grand Dad's last car"  sat unsold and when sold, went for thousands less than the sticker price. 

As we've talked about many times before, Cadillac futzed with a design update of these for 1997 doing away with the pseudo fender skirts and botched the whole thing up. Just as well. No one under sixty was buying them anyway. 

1990 Acura Legend Coupe - The First Time

I think my affection for Japanese luxury coupes began when I first saw this commercial for Acura's new for 1987 Acura Legend coupe. While it seems like old hat today, this spot was revolutionary since luxury cars weren't marketed as performance cars back then. How could they, y'know? Sure, BMW's, Mercedes' and even Audi's, to a certain degree, were hawked as being more than just luxury cars, but their performance potential was never flaunted as openly as Honda attempted to peg what their new Legend coupe could do. The old farts at GM, Ford must have spit up their lobster bisque when they first saw these ads. 

That gastro-intestinal distress brought on by a gussied up Honda Accord coupe? Yup. And one with a single overhead cam, 24 valve V-6 making all of 151 horsepower; our 1990 here made 177 from a slightly larger engine. Ah, such is the power of marketing. What can I say. Worked on me.

To sweeten the deal, Honda pushed these out the showroom door with a sticker that not only undercut BMW and Mercedes but also what GM and Ford sold their Eldorado and Mark VII at. To make matters even more eye brow raising was that this car really didn't do anything better than what an Accord could do. An Accord that cost upwards of seven grand less. Such was the power of Honda back then that if they said that an Acura was better we believed it.

In hindsight, seriously, who the hell did Honda think they were passing this off as a sports/performance car costing thousands more than what it was based on not to mention having the hubris to name it, "Legend"? Well, again, we have to understand just how fantastic Honda's image was in the '80's. Especially compared to what many Americans, particularly yuppies, thought of just about everything The Big Three were shilling. Especially the old fart mobiles Cadillac and Lincoln parlayed.

Honda's were like that A+ student back in school who was also quarterback and captain of the football team, got all the girls and to make matters worse, was also the greatest guy in the world whom you actually really liked. Like that all American, Honda's were impossible to not like and people willingly paid more for them and whole heartedly believed they were getting a bargain compared to what they'd pay for German makes and models.  Cadillac's and Lincoln's? Please. They were like that dopey rich kid who thought they were hooked up because their family was well off.  Acura changed the luxury car paradigm forever. 

The first generation Acura Legend wasn't perfect and it's being alone in the Japanese luxury car lane was short lived. Both Toyota and Nissan launched luxury brands of their own within three years that for all intents and purposes usurped any ground Acura may have gained on the far more expensive makes and models from Europe. Note I didn't mention anything about the slush buckets from GM or Ford. I don't mention Chrysler because they really didn't have anything that could be construed as a luxury anything. 

So, if anything, Acura gets a lot of credit for being the first Japanese luxury car brand even if Lexus and Infiniti trounced it soon after it was introduced. Remarkably, although they've arguably misstepped repeatedly since, Honda has been able to hold onto the brand and "Acura" still means something good after all these years. Although, it is a bit of a head scratcher as to why Honda never came after Lexus and Infiniti with larger, rear wheel drive, V-8 powered smoothies of their own. 

Acura replaced the first generation Legend in 1991 with a substantially larger automobile that had a chassis unique to North American applications. Interestingly, Acura dropped the "Legend" nameplate in 1996 and started using a Germanesque alfa numeric naming scheme; and one that's never made sense. "Legend" has it that Acura dropped the Legend nameplate in '96, replacing it with "RL", under the auspice that it had become bigger than the entire Acura make. 

Pontiac G6 GXP - Too Little Way Too Late

While I've always felt the Pontiac G6 to be an oddly styled automobile if not a homely one, with their their being based on GM's excellent Epsilon platform, I've always enjoyed driving them. Stuff one with the 3.6 liter version of what GM used to call their "High Feature" V-6 and add 18 inch wheels and tires and it could, on paper at least, be fun to drive. And the one I test drove in Dallas years ago certainly was. Thanks in large part to the big motor that little car could really scoot and with a verve a Honda Civic owner could only dream about. What's more, while it certainly was no Civic in terms of overall driving dynamics and build quality, I thought it changed lanes like a slot car and had me doing things in traffic I typically wouldn't do. So, what wasn't to like? Well, I generally don't care for cars that small and I already mentioned I thought the G6 was ugly. Then why spend time test driving one? Well, the mind of a car enthusiast works in different ways that normal people.  

Now, some times a spoiler can dress up an automobile of questionable styling merit and a G6 GT or GTP, the GXP replaced the GTP in the Pontiac G6 pantheon for 2008, looks somewhat less amorphous with the relatively tiny optional spoiler. However, a G6 with this Tim Burton-esque thing? Sorry. It looked silly back then and still does. Pictures don't do it justice as to how massive the damn thing was. While it may have improved extreme, high speed handling somewhat given the amount of down force it may have produced, the down side is something as ungainly as the airplane the Wright Brothers flew at Kitty Hawk. Granted, there's a fine line between cool and goofy - take it from me, I drive a Dale Earnhardt Monte Carlo for crying out loud - but this is off the charts. Good thing this wing was part of a "Street Edition" package and you could get a G6 GXP without one. Although, strangely enough, I've seen few GXP's that didn't have this gaping yaw of trunk lid doodad.

So, what happened to the G6 GXP not to mention the G6 in general? Well, timing being everything, had any of the iterations of the Pontiac Grand Am it replaced, "G6" allegedly was for the sixth generation of the Grand Am, been anywhere near as good a car as the G6 was, Pontiac may have had a fighting chance. As it were, with the G6 coming twenty years after the debut of the dreadful front wheel drive N body Grand Am in 1985, while a good effort, it was too little way too late. And, again, as good as the G6 was, it wasn't as good as its competition. To insult to injury, load up a G6 with all the bells and whistles like our subject car here, and the value proposition flew out the sunroof. Why would any discerning buyer buy one of these when they could have a stronger performing and better built Subaru WRX of VW GTI for less money? Even a base Pontiac G8 made more sense than these cars. And for less money. Ouch.

Sure, the G6 had its buyers. Those folks who were Pontiac or GM diehards, yes, there were those people, still others may have actually liked the styling while others may not have been aware there were viable alternatives that were vastly superior. GM popped these out like popcorn too and discounted lesser G6's out the ying yang; that would explain why there are so many of them out there. I'm not a fan but then again there are scores of people out there looking for dutiful, inexpensive  appliances to get them from point A to point B. They do make good used car values since their resale value is bupkiss.

And since they shared so much with the Chevrolet Malibu and Saturn Aura of the same vintage, mechanical parts are a plenty. Although, can't say you're going to find many G6 GXP rear wings out there. That's probably not a bad thing.