1988 Volvo 240 - You'll Never Die In a Volvo

The other night I was westbound on the Ohio Turnpike southeast of Cleveland when some ass wipe in a late model Volvo S60 suddenly tucked up behind my rear bumper then jutted to his right and blew by me like a fighter jet catapulted off an air craft carrier. I assume it was a he because I've never seen a woman drive so recklessly. Now, while I begrudgingly respect that kind of athleticism and nerve behind the wheel, ultimately I resent it because if someone driving like that crashes, they'll probably take out more than just themselves. And, they're going to delay a whole bunch of people as well. That said, what struck me was that he was making those incredibly dangerous maneuvers in, of all things, a Volvo.

Back in my day, and I say this with tongue firmly in cheek, Volvo's where "boxy but good" and where driven by upstanding citizens who lived their lives as carefully and prudently as possibly. They certainly weren't the types of vehicles you'd drive at a break neck clip zig zagging in traffic either because, quite simply, they really couldn't be driven that way. Again, back in my day, Volvo's were known for being sensible, safety first vehicles. In fact, Volvo's been touting the virtues of safety going back to their origins in the 1920's.

My first experience with one stems from a two day jaunt with a friends baby blue, 1988 Volvo 240 in the early to mid '90's. Our subject here, which looks just like it, I believe is a 1992. I forget the circumstances behind why he lent me his car but being the car guy that I am, I've never turned down an opportunity to drive something I've never driven before.  Especially an automobile held in as high regard as an almighty Volvo whether I really needed the car or not. However, to say that I was underwhelmed by the experience was an understatement. Grateful for the loaner but not impressed with the car.

Not unlike not getting or appreciating a movie that the masses adore, I, for one, failed to see what the hub bub was about these cars. I found his 240 to be bog slow to the point I thought something was wrong with the engine and the handling to be truck like. I did find the drivers seat very comfortable, visibility to be excellent and for some reason I found the styling to be pleasant if not down right attractive. I still do. Especially the five door, 240 wagons. I just wish the darn thing drove and handled more like what I thought it would drive like. That being a BMW or a Mercedes from the era.

I'm not alone in that sentiment either. Contemporary road tests of 240's were not kind to their clumsy driving dynamics and moribund lack of pace. Then again, they were never intended to be any sort of sports sedan. Remarkably, they found buyers. Lots of them. Relatively speaking of course.

What made Volvo's memorable was their advanced safety engineering and Volvo, wisely and subtlety, marketed that their cars were "safer" than other cars. That marketing struck a chord with those people who were pragmatic and reasonable if not highly intelligent. They weren't adrenaline junkies juking in and out of traffic. Again, not that you could drive a Volvo aggressively even if you wanted to.

Volvo is often given credit for either inventing or refining many of the safety features on cars we take for granted today. Like safety cages, laminated glass, three-point seat belts, rear facing child seats, front and rear crumple zones, whiplash protection, side curtain airbags, blind spot information systems, electrical parking brakes, lane departure warning, pedestrian alert systems and of course, the proverbial "and much more".

By the late 1980's, though, as many manufacturers caught up to or surpassed Volvo's legacy for safety, about the only thing they had left going for them was the notion that, much in the same way wearing surgical scrubs or a white lab coat do, driving a Volvo raised a driver's perceived I.Q. That and the well earned public sentiment that you "won't die in a Volvo" were not exactly the bedrock upon which to continue to build forward thinking, advanced automobiles. In a world where every car was rapidly becoming a "Volvo", a substantial rethink of the brand was way overdue. We car wonks awaited with baited breath for a car that could fly from the wunder kids in Sweden.

It's not that everything Volvo came out with after 1992, like the 850 pictured here, wasn't a vastly superior automobile to the 240. The problem was nothing, which only in retrospect can be deemed damned near impossible to do, could achieve what the 240 did. Volvo set their own bar so high that they'd have to clear it to remain relevant. Due to mitigating circumstances like being sold to Ford and then to a Chinese conglomerate along with the sheer magnitude of the task, Volvo has continually failed to live up to what it had been. And that's too bad.

While Volvo's today can perform at levels that are nothing short of absurd, case in point that yahoo in a S60 on the turnpike the other night, they fail to offer anywhere near the cache of other aspirational brands. So, left alone to their own (styling) devices and without being able to rely on the real or perceived notion of safety or road going invincibility, Volvo, which these days sells about half the number of cars they did twenty years ago, is slowly melting away and runs the risk of not only remaining irrelevant but becoming extinct.

Based on what I saw the other night, and least they're now fast as hell and can handle like a slot car. And if Mr. Speedy McSpeedspeed crashes his Volvo at 100 miles per hour, he'll probably walk away from the wreck without a scratch.