Tuesday, December 10, 2019

1969 Oldsmobile F-85 W-31 - It Ain't Easy Being Green


Contrary to what you may have heard it wasn't the OPEC Oil Embargo of 1973-74 that killed muscle cars as we once knew them but rather insurance company surcharges on anything they construed as being a performance car. In an attempt to circumvent those surcharges or at least diminish them somewhat, from 1968-1970 Oldsmobile offered a less powerful "muscle" engine on their two door Cutlass models. Taking things a step further, they also offered the less powerful option on their entry level F-85 two door sedans. 


Checking "W-31" on the order form got you cold air intakes feeding an Olds 350 cubic inch V-8, intake and exhaust valves from the Olds 455, higher compression heads than lesser Olds 350's, streamlined exhaust manifolds and a big fat cam. A cam so big, in fact, that it reduced engine vacuum to the point that all W-31's could not be had with power brakes. 


Throw in a Hurst shifter or a hopped turbo-hydramatic transmission and Granny's grocery getter could do zero to sixty in under seven seconds and the quarter mile in under fifteen. Not too shabby; just hope you have a long runway to stop in after that drag run. All that bolted to the same taught suspension, everything is relative, that underpinned the 4-4-2 and the F-85 W-31 seemed like the  stuff performance bargain dreams were made of.  


However, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to realize the combination of brute force and the comfort of a church pew didn't sell very well. This not original and restored but numbers matching F-85 is but one of just 212 built for model year 1969 equipped with the hallowed "W-31" option package. It's also said to be the only '69 Olds pushed out of Lansing wearing retina searing "Chevrolet Rally Green" paint.  


Speaking of scientists, Oldsmobile marketed their W-30 and W-31 equipped cars back then in a series of print ads featuring a Dr. Frankensteinian character named "Dr. Oldsmobile". While the mixed metaphors of horror movies and muscle cars is lost on me, that's not to say the ads themselves weren't memorable. Even at the tender age of now fifty plus years old, these ads somehow still appear to be quite contemporary. Even if the car itself is really showing its age. Curiously, Oldsmobile never marketed the W-32 option in these ads. 


There's got to be a compelling story behind how someone was able to order this Chevrolet shade of green on an Oldsmobile. But like we've said a million times before, anything we can come up with is probably way more interesting than whatever the reason is. 


Personally, I'm not a fan of this car and I'm sure I'm not alone. The combination of austerity, cheap thrills and, I may be alone in having the heretical gravitas to say this, I think the rear end on 1968-1972 F-85, 4-4-2 and Cutlass models is ugly. All sins forgiven with the rear end styling treatments on 1970-1972 Cutlass Supreme models which never got the "W" treatment.


Well, one person's trash is another's treasure. Five years ago or so this car, which is not original and has been restored, sold for around $45,000. A ton of, ahem, green. And now in this booming economy, the current owner is asking $65,000 for it. I don't know about you but if I could get that kind of return on investment in just five years, I'd put up with the electric vomit green paint. Safe to say I think "Dr. Oldsmobile" would too. Who said it ain't easy being green? 


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