1980 Toyota Tercel - New Think

This...is a 1980 Toyota Tercel. How I disdained it when it was new. I was hooked on bigger-is-better, over-styled, rumbling V-8 powered, two-ton plus gas guzzlers. Eight, nine, ten miles per gallon? This is America, kid, and that's the way we do things here. Well, honestly, that sentiment was fine until I started driving and realized how difficult the big domestics were to handle and how expensive filling up a twenty plus gallon gas tank was on a car that couldn't go much more than two hundred miles on a fill up. I also had no idea how utterly frustrating constant break downs could be. I had so much to learn. Oh, so much.

Hard to believe but prior to 1980 Toyota did not sell a front-wheel-drive automobile in the United States. Honda, Subaru and even Datsun (Nissan) did but Toyota? No. And when they finally did come out with a front driver in 1980, they did it differently than anyone else. Well, different than the other Japanese makes.

While having an interior just as space efficient as the others, Toyota eschewed the growing conventional sentiment of driving the front wheels via a transverse mounted engine and unequal length "half-shafts". It may have looked like a rear wheel driver from inside the engine room but our Tercel has a power train with more in common with a then current Cadillac Eldorado and it's "unitized power package" than a Honda Accord or Datsun 310.

Unless we're able to pin down a Toyota engineer who helped design this power train, we'll never know for sure why they went longitudinal with the mounting of Tercel's engine. One could surmise it was a safer engineering bet than going "all-in" with an all new trans-mounted design. Toyota was then as they are now, a very conservative company and slow to adapt "new-think". Thing is, while they've always been slow to move, they're always moving forward. And a benefit to this engine mounting was in for 1983, when they rolled out an all wheel drive model, all they had to do was throw on a drive shaft out the back of the transmission. As if it things like that were ever that simple.

Toyota was also so concerned that the buying public would be incredulous towards a new model that they festooned "Corolla" on 1980 and 1981 Tercel's so it would appear it was a sub-brand of Corolla. A model that by 1980 had achieved near iconic status in a gas starved America.

Would one of these ever appear in my "Jay Leno" fantasy garage? Oh, hell no. However, if I was to be the curator of an automobile museum, one of these along with an early Civic, Datsun F-10 and Subaru GL most certainly would be as they represent the apex of automotive engineering in the late 1970's and early 1980's.  

1967 Chrysler Newport - More Than Meets The Eye

Funny how as we age, we see an old car and we see a lot more than just an old car.

In my high school days in the early 1980's, half of the crew that I ran with had their own cars while the other half drove their parents cars. There was certainly no shame in the latter since all of the guy's parents cars were way cooler than the horrific piece of junk I was unlucky enough to call my own. Without a doubt the coolest of the "parents cars" was the 1967 Chrysler Newport that belonged to my buddy Rob's mom. This well preserved example looks just like it save for a darker shade of green. Or whatever fifty-three years of mid west weather has worn it down to.

My take-a-ways on that big Newport was its awesome styling inside and out, cavernous interior and magnificent engine. The only real downside was it got single digit gas mileage even when driven responsibly; that seriously got into our modest "fun money" since we all chipped in for gas whenever we'd go out in it. It had horrible brakes too and its steering made the rudder on the Titanic seem responsive but oh, that engine. Granted it seemed even more powerful compared to the emissions clogged, six cylinder golf cart I was driving but any time I drove it I felt as though I was king of the world. Which, for reasons that seem preposterous to me now, I found myself doing quite often because "the gang" considered me to be a "responsible and safe" driver. Truth be known, aside from being intoxicated by the right-now! thrust of the car's "383" engine, the sheer mass and bulk of the thing terrified me. My apprehension driving it more than likely came across as maturity.

So, what was, a Newport? Well, as is often the case with automobiles, there's more to what we're looking at than meets the eye. Named after a Chrysler concept car from the 1930's, the 1960's Chrysler Newport evolved from Chrysler's discontinuation of their DeSoto line in mid model year 1961. What had been a "DeSoto" suddenly became a lower priced Chrysler model. It was rather brilliant when you think about it and begs the questions as to why they didn't do something like that sooner. The answer to that probably has more to do with pride and hubris than anything else.

In the years before and after World War II, Chrysler attempted to go bumper-to-bumper with General Motors in having a line of automobiles that would fit a wide variety of income levels. At the bottom of their pricing ladder was Plymouth followed by Dodge, DeSoto, Chrysler and finally Imperial. While there was always a resemblance to all makes and models on GM's family tree, for the most part, Chrysler did little more than rebadge each of their makes and models making little distinction overall between, say, a Plymouth and an Imperial. The two brands that took the brunt of Chrysler's lack of distinctiveness were Imperial, which could never really go bumper-to-bumper with Cadillac not to mention Lincoln, and DeSoto which attempted to be Chrysler's Oldsmobile. Throw into the batter the fact that Ford attempted to the same pricing ladder thing in the late '50's and poor little DeSoto didn't stand a chance.

As all auto manufacturers did back then, Chrysler sliced, diced, kneaded and chopped their wares seemingly every year so that each model year their wares were different from the previous year prior. In my humble opinion, of all the different iterations of the Newport throughout the sixties, they really got it right with the '67 two door models. Although, that flying buttress of "C" pillar holding up the back of the roof, cool as hell as it was, did young me or anyone driving these cars any favors when changing lanes. Holy blind spot, Batman.

Sadly, I lost contact with Rob about half way through college. I'm not really sure what happened but in the politics of the group I called my friends, really we were just a really obnoxious clique, he fell out of favor with what could best be described as the leaders of the bunch. To remain in good standing with the group, I was more or less forced to part ways with Rob which was really sad since I was friends with him first and he introduced me to everyone. Of everyone in the group, I felt a special bond to him since he was the only one else like me who came from a wildly dysfunctional family.

As for his mother's Newport, although his parents were divorced, his father still ruled the roost when it came to finances for her. It being the early '80's and gas being as expensive as it was, he thought it best to trade it in for something more economical. That more economical thing turned out to be a Fiat Strada of all things. A horrible little car that actually made even less sense than the Newport did. Talk about dysfunctional.

1995 Chevrolet Corsica - Haha. A Corisca.

The other day I was gassing up my wife's beloved 1995 Lexus SC400 at Costco when an employee working the gas station asked me what year my car was. When I told him it was a '95, he laughed and said, "I've got a '95 too!" Taken back by the absurd coincidence that someone else could have the same make, model and year Lexus SC that my wife and I have, they're not exactly common place, I nervously blurted out, "it's a great car, isn't it?". Only thing was, he wasn't referring to a 1995 Lexus that he had but his 1995 Chevrolet Corsica; the only thing in common between our cars was the model year. I told my son the story later that night and he laughed out loud, "haha, a Corsica!" His was red just like this and in similar condition to this '95 I found somewhere on line. 

Haha. A Corsica. Indeed. Somewhat indignant that someone would ask what year our Lexus was, we don't look at it and see a twenty-five year old car but rather one that is a timeless beauty, I must admit the guy's Corsica appeared to be in great shape too. Someone was pulling in behind me and needed my pump so I couldn't continue the conversation. I waved at the guy giving him a thumbs up and a smile as I was suddenly catapulted back to 1988-1996 and all of the memories I have of Corsica's came rushing back. I can't say any of them are bad but much like the car itself, they just are very memorable.

Named after the beautiful French governed Mediterranean island of Corsica, Chevrolet's Corsica was their compact sedan offering that replaced their infamous Citation. To give you an idea of the lineage, Citation replaced the Nova for 1980 and the Malibu in 1997 replaced the Corsica. While the Corsica carried over the Citation's 60 degree V-6 as an option and Chevrolet's on again, off again tendency for alliteration, it was all but a clean sheet design when GM rolled it out early in 1987 as an '88. While it's sister coupe, the Berretta, was a memorable design and stood out at the auto show, the Corsica didn't wow anyone with its "modern" but still dowdy sheet metal. If the Church Lady drove a 1988 domestic, she probably drove a Corsica. Things got even worse inside.

Injection molded plastic automobile interiors were a cost saving rage in the late 1960's and they really took off in the 1970's. While there's still a lot of that even today, they've come a long way in terms of fit, finish and texture but in the late '80's, the Corsica's joyless insides epitomized GM '80's craptacularness. I can't imagine how any one purchasing an automobile back then to a price point would buy a Corsica when for not much more money they could have had a Honda Civic. Or any compact Japanese sedan for the matter. Yeah, "buy American" was a powerful sentiment even back then but still. Folks gave up a lot of refinement and reliability for the Red, White and Blue.

My time spent in a Corsica boiled down to a ten day period in summer of 1988 when I rented one while my shitty 1982 Buick Riviera's transmission was being replaced. It was competent enough but amazingly unremarkable. Nothing like the zippy Toyota Corolla FX that I had rented not six months prior when I was between my Cordoba and the Riviera. My buying the Riv and not buying something like the FX one of a handful of seriously bad automobile buying decisions I've made in my life. Don't hold your breath, I don't plan on making any better ones in the near future.

While the specialness of our 1995 Lexus has been somewhat eroded by a mass of other cars that have seemingly come up to reach it's awesomeness if not somehow surpassed it, the contrast between the two '95's is really startling. Where our Lexus is refined in every single way imaginable, the Corsica is crude, cheap and primitive. It's also ugly. Granted it's not fair to compare a Japanese luxury car that stickered originally for more than $53,000 to a Chevrolet economy sedan that cost under $20,000 back then, but today, you really don't sacrifice that much in overall road going vehicle dynamics if you drive a modern Malibu versus the spiritual successor of our SC, the Lexus LC.

Amazingly, luxury car makers today have resorted to wild styling and gadgetry to lure buyers as opposed to actually offering cars that perform better than less costly makes and models. Much like athletes, the sky's only so high. Our 1995 Lexus SC400 illustrates just how much higher GM needed to jump back then to stay competitive. While a mid '90's Cadillac could go tire-to-tire with Lexus to some degree, you have to give GM credit these days for making a Malibu as smooth and competent as it is. Please note, I didn't say it was good looking.

Back to that guy's Corsica, the most interesting thing is why and how such an ordinary if mundane automobile has survived as long as it has. I doubt I'll ever see that guy again seeing how Costco cycles through employees faster than they do "48 packs" of toilet paper but I would like to ask him more about it. Just as well as is most often the case, any story I could come up with would probably be a lot more interesting than the truth. That said, if I do see him again, I'll be sure to ask him so stay tuned.

1958 Oldsmobile Super 88 - The Outer Limits

I don't know whether it's a subconscious thing or not but I have a problem getting my arms around "fifties-cars". I just don't "get-them" like I do most anything made just a few years later. When I see pristinely restored ones like this 1958 Oldsmobile Super 88, I don't see a car I'd like to own as much as I think it belongs in a museum. Who would want such a thing as this? Especially one that comes with an asking price of more than one hundred thousand dollars? I'd be terrified to drive it for fear that a pebble could kick up, nick the finish and knock ten grand off its value.

My disconnect with cars from the 1950's has probably more to do with the fact that by the time I became fully aware of cars, that being probably around eight or nine which would have been 1972-1973, most cars from the fifties had either rusted away or were junked because of mechanical problems.

And the "old cars" I did see weren't parade floats like this thing either. They were more like the Pontiac Chieftan the family that lived across the street from my family that had the same last name as ours did. I've deduced over the years that "Mr. Connolly's" Pontiac was a 1952 and I thought it was not only the ugliest car on earth, but even just twenty or so years old at the time, the oldest car on earth as well. 

If I'm drawn to any fifties cars it's most often General Motors makes and models. Sure, I like a '55 Chrysler 300 as much as anyone and who doesn't appreciate a two passenger Thunderbird but if I was alive and of car buying means in the 1950's, I'd be driving something, "GM". 

Although, I can't imagine I'd give this chrome drenched rolling bomb a looksee. Isn't it horrible? Seriously, up against  similar designs from Chevrolet, Pontiac and even Cadillac, does this thing even hold a candle to it? To me it most certainly doesn't. The '58 Buick's were weird too. My favorite 1958 GM model being the Chevrolet Bel Air "Impala" Sports Coupe. And, to be honest, I like that car because I think it's a beautiful design in lieu of the fact that it came from the fifties. I like '49 Cadillac's for the same reason.

In many ways the design excess of this car helped lead to many of the extraordinarily restrained and tasteful GM designs of the 1960's. How else do we know how far not to go unless we've crossed over the limit at some time? The '58 Oldsmobile's were over the limit. The "Outer Limits" if you ask me.

For more information on this car, click here. 

2005 Ford Mustang GT - Check Please

I sold my 2005 Ford Mustang GT a couple of weeks ago. Why? Because, my wife told me to. Haha. Seriously, I got rid of it because less than a week after I bought it last year I lost my job and in an instant, what was to be my "summer car" was suddenly frivolous, utterly unnecessary and a brutal reminder of when I had a job that afforded me the luxury of yet another car. When I finally did sell it, through Facebook Marketplace, which, by the way is awesome and makes Craigslist look like the  shit show it is, my wife and I were like a couple of giddy bank robbers counting their take after a heist. The wife happy to have it gone because of the expense of it and I was happy to see it go because, and please, don't tell her this, I really didn't like it.

I know. I know. What's wrong with me? Me, dyed in the wool car guy who first dated his wife because she drove a cool car and who's been fortunate to own a host of spectacularly craptasitc cars in his lifetime. Well, all I can tell you is that given that plebeian transportation today is so good, I quickly lost the want and acceptance to make the sacrifices this car required of me. Look at my very short ownership of this car being not unlike dating someone who's gorgeous but is dumb as a bag of rocks and you find really annoying. Hot as hell but so difficult to be with that the physical attraction quickly wanes.

What was not to like to about my Mustang? I mean, wow. Look at this thing. Sexy as hell but where shall I start? Quirky dash layout, uncomfortable seats, lack of modern amenities like a compass and an outside temperature gauge not to mention at least an aux hookup for my phone or whatever. Oh, but I could change the color of the back lighting behind the dash. Seriously, what the eff, Ford? It had heavy, clumsy steering, a stiff, kidney rattling ride and while it had good power, its twitchy throttle made for all or nothing acceleration. While on that subject, I felt the car was a freakin' rocket. However, even as a sporting conveyance, it wasn't that interesting to drive and used as a daily driver was maddening.

Why did I buy it in the first place? Honestly, because I thought it was cool and that was about it. Did I realize what a pain in the ass it was when I bought it? Umm, I guess so. Maybe I thought I could learn to live with all its charming quirks and foibles. Well, I was wrong. Just like the 2002 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 I had years ago, which was an even tougher son-of-a-bitch to live with, used as a daily driver, cars that are nothing but powerful and good looking get old. Fast. In fairness, using the Mustang as sparingly as I did, whenever I did drive it I found it to be very entertaining. A really fun, weekend car.

Here's the kicker. As much as I loathed this car and that Camaro Z28 I had, I can't honestly tell you that sometime in the future I won't get another one. Or two. Why? Because I still find them alluring and taken in small doses they're actually quite fun. Used as a daily driven appliance? Check please.

1979 Ford LTD Coupe - Little Big Ford

My fervor for coupes stems from my "Wonder Years" occurring during the heights of the personal luxury car boom of the 1970's. Personal luxury cars evolving from the primordial ooze of the muscle car craze of the '60's; most of those being coupes as well. I gravitated towards two door versions of four door sedans because, in general and somewhat magically so, they were much cooler than four door cars. However, my love for all things coupe began to fade come the great downsizing epoch that GM started in 1977. While the cars were absolutely much improved transportation conveyances, from an aesthetics standpoint, none of them were an improvement over what they replaced. These "big little" Fords that followed GM's suit in 1979 were even worse. This here is a 1979 Ford LTD. 

Unlike GM that used the bones of their 1973 intermediates as a starting point for their downsizing, Ford developed an all new chassis known internally as "Panther". Lighter and smaller than the still very large chassis GM was using, with a blank slate, Ford had a chance to finally do something right  and...like the Cleveland Browns and New York Knicks, they blew it. This the cake topper of a decade that also brought us the Ford Pinto\Mercury Bobcat, Ford Maverick\Mercury Comet four door (the pre 1974 coupes were cool), and the Mustang II.

In retrospect, the downside to downsizing was it ushered in the age of automobile function over form. For decades designers were unencumbered by safety and emissions regulations not to mention CAFE or "corporate average fuel economy" standards. Their, at times fabulously whimsical or ridiculous designs led to some spectacularly dangerous and awful cars. Oh, but weren't they great?



I get that cars had to get smaller, safer, more efficient and pollute less but they didn't have to get so damn boring looking. We could spend all day discussing why cars are not considered true "classics" if they were made after downsizing began but there's more to it than the fact the cars were smaller. Quite simply it's because they just weren't as good looking as the cars they replaced.

Despite its inauspicious beginning, though, and somewhat ironically too, the Ford Panther platform, which also underpinned the Mercury Marquis\Grand Marquis and the Lincoln Town Car, became the longest produced automobile platform in North American automotive history. The last Panther rolling off the assembly line in 2011 after thirty-three model years. Quite the run for a boring old, big little Ford.