1979 Cadillac Seville Opera Coupe - Hell Bent on Screwing Up

Years ago I "reported" to a guy, I can't stomach to say I "worked" for the ass-hat, who loved to chastise his staff after a screw-up by saying, "what they hell where you thinking"? Suffice to say, he was genuinely loathed, despised, ridiculed and vilified. He wasn't too fond of my subtle retorts to his "what were you thinking rants" that were intended to highlight the absurdity of his question; something always to the tune of, "I was hell bent on screwing-up, that's what I was thinking". We parted the deadliest of enemies and haven't spoken in over thirty years and I only bring him up to remind myself to stop-short of snap judgment whenever I see something as off-beat as one of these Cadillac Seville Opera Coupes. Our subject here hails from model-year 1979. 

To understand what this car was an attempt at being understand the time-period it first appeared in. Think about this - particularly if you're of a certain vintage (like me) to have a significant amount of time on your personal odometer to be able to fathom what a large amount of time passed feels like. When this car came out in 1979, 1939 was "just" forty years prior. Forty-years ago here in god-forsaken 2020 is 1980 and that doesn't seem like all that long ago, does it? I mean, it does and it doesn't but hopefully you get the gist. 

That table set, back in the late '70's, folks of the means to blow a small fortune on a frivolous automobile they construed as being as resplendent as the "Great Gatsby" cars that "The Rich" drove when they were young were probably drawn to these cars. That or they just loved the 1974 film starring Robert Redford and they wanted something that emulated the look and feel of the era. Seriously, how else to explain these things? 

It makes sense seeing that the "Jazz Era" was seemingly chock full of extravagant automobiles from the likes of Rolls-Royce, Duesenberg, Auburn, Pierce Arrow, Packard and others. By the way, the Great Gatsby was set in 1922 so the film versions, there were two, has a fair amount of poetic license in car -casting given the cars above from the 2013 "Gatsby" didn't appear until at least 1928. The blue car is an authentic 1933 Auburn, the yellow one a replica of a 1932 Duesenberg.SJ. The 1974 "Gatsby" took similar liberties as Gatsby is seen driving a 1928 Rolls-Royce. But I digress. 

Sad today that cars that are forty-years old are cars bumper-deep in the Malaise Era and are all but undesirable as conveyances of nostalgia. Well, they can be but rarely to acquire them do they require significant damage to the old nest egg to a point beyond reason. Everyone's nostalgia is unique to themselves and it's certainly nothing new. So, go ahead, pine for a 1979 Cadillac Seville Opera Coupe all you want. I won't judge. One in near-mint condition will run you around fifteen-grand. 

What's so "wrong" about these cars is not the concept, per se, but their execution. These cars were built by the long-defunct "Grandeur Automobile Company" of Pompano Beach, Florida from 1978-1984. There were a smattering of Lincoln Versailles conversions but most "Opera's'" were 1975-1979 and 1980-1984 Cadillac Seville's. 

For starters, the notion of turning a sedan into a coupe is not as straight forward as one might think. The 1975-1979 X-body-based Seville, think 1968-1979 Chevrolet Nova, was only offered as a four-door sedan and coupes as popular as they were in the '70's, left a fair amount to the imagination as to what a Seville coupe would have looked like. 

Here we see the biggest issue with these cars - oh-so-odd proportion. It's as if they took out the middle of the car and slammed it together and then stretched it out like a piece of taffy. Well, that's what they all but did. To give these cars the semblance of the Great Gatsby cars with their very, very long hoods and short decks, Grandeur chopped the front off the passenger compartment floor pan and moved everything back so the front seat is actually where the rear seat used to be. 

Look again - that makes total sense after it's pointed out. The relatively diminutive size of the donor Seville doesn't help proportion and balance either. This might have worked a little better if the starting canvas was larger. Maybe. Who knows. 

To make the front end longer, they boxed out a compartment in front of the radiator and elongated the  fenders and, of course, the doors. If anything, you have to respect the craftsmanship involved even if the finished product leaves much to be desired. A lot went into these things. 

Probably the single-worst part of these cars are these fake spare tire covers. This is no joke - this was a deliberate and important design element of these cars as what would these cars look like if they just had  stretched-like-taffy front ends? Now, back in Gatsby's day, many cars had their spare tires, note that's plural, stored in fancy cases attached outboard. A prime example of function-following-form. Or is that vice-versa? What would a Jazz Era car be without spare-tire cases? 

Most of the cars that Grandeur built were coupes but there were several sedans and convertibles. The convertibles, in my opinion, somewhat less garish what with the relaxed lines of the cloth top softening the formality of the Seville's rear roof line. In my humble opinion, the 1980-1984, GM "E-body front wheel drive "Opera's" were better looking than the 1975-1979's. That probably goes without saying as GM was going for some Gatsby-magic with those bustle-back horrors to start with. Sorry - my blog, my opinion. All in, between 1978 and 1984 there were approximately six-hundred built. The company was founded in 1976 and folded up in 1989. 

So, the next time you're so inclined to snap to judgment on something, anything, try at least to fathom  that whatever it is, a lot of thought and effort most likely went into it. Whatever it may be. After all, no one gets out of bed in the morning hell bent on screwing up. 

First published in 1925, The Great Gatsby is F. Scott Fitzgerald's third book and is widely considered the paragon of his career. It's exploration of the lavish wealthy lifestyle of the 1920's causes it to be hailed as the archetypal Jazz Age Novel.