Tuesday, November 9, 2021

1986 Chevrolet Corvette - Don't Meet Your Idols

How many times do I need to be reminded not to meet my heroes and idols? 

I was quite enamored of the "new-Corvette" when it first came out for no other reason than it was finally a Corvette that looked to be really all-new. For years prior Chevrolet touted the subtle and not so subtle changes made to the old Corvette, the star-crossed third-generation or "C3", as being substantial, world-changing and world-beating, Oh, how we longed for something all-new. Careful what you wish for.  

History the cruel judge it can be, we fast-forward the better part of four-decades and we find there's less respect for early fourth-generation or "C4" Corvette's like our burnt-orange '86 "drop-top" here than there is for "C3's". In particular the later ones like my 1977. Styling being the main culprit for certain no one would argue that a C3 of any year belongs on the same track as any C4. 

Most of the sins of the C4's styling, through my foggy goggles, were forgiven when Chevrolet came out with a convertible model in 1986. Built in partnership with the same talented folks who gave us the convertible 1982-1985 Buick Riviera and 1983-1985 Cadillac Eldorado, all the half-baked awkwardness of the fast-back was gone, replaced by a silhouette, top up or down, that's pure Hollywood. 

I found this one not far from my office. With only 43,000 on it's thirty-five year old ticker and a semi-digestible asking price of $10,500, the wife and I kicked its tires on a Saturday afternoon about a month ago. 

It's been years since I've driven a C4 and I've forgotten how hard they are to get in and out of. My '77 is certainly not as easy to get into as most SUV's or even a sedan but this thing is ridiculous. The "sill" so wide I had to take a giant stride to get over it then grab the steering wheel as I swung myself into a ball and plopped myself down into a seat that was somehow simultaneously rock hard and softly enveloping. 

My tiny wife had to do the same only her immediate reaction was different than mine. "Smells like (cigarette) smoke", she said. Sure as hell did. It was also filthy inside then again the salesman said it hadn't gone through service yet. Hmm, ok. 

The seat was too low and too far back and it wouldn't move. Then I noticed the manual was a 4+3; GM's goofy transmission that skips 2nd and 3rd gear when you're going slow to save gas. The engine has enough torque that you don't really need 2nd and 3rd when just cruising casually; when you're getting on it 2nd and 3rd are magically available to you. I've driven these before and thought nothing of them but sitting as low as I was, I felt as though I had to reach up to shift the comically long shifter. Awkward. 

Sitting as far back as I was, pushing the clutch in was a real joy. And it's heavy and long play didn't help matters. Finally I got the engine turned over and the big old L-98 didn't disappoint. It's growling manliness reminding me of the way engines used to sound. Actually, it sounded a lot like the L-48 in my '77 but...I digress. 

Then I couldn't find first gear. Or was that reverse? No, wait...isn't that fourth? I hoped and prayed I was in some forward gear when I let out the clutch and...I stalled it. Subsequent tries weren't much better until finally after maybe the sixth try, I got the thing to move.  

I tried in vain to shift out of first with about as much success as getting it in there; the sales guy must have thought I'd never driven a manual before as I herked and jerked it. It's been a long time since I'd driven a manual with as clumsy a gear box and with a clutch that might be failing too. 

I never left the dealer lot. 

I put it right back where I found it pulling through a parking space so I didn't have to attempt to find reverse. I popped open the clam-shell hood to peak at the engine and the passenger side hinge was collapsed; it took both me and the sales guy to prop it open. The wife had long given up and was sitting in our car playing Words with Friends. 

He called me nearly three weeks later after it "went through service". I thanked him for the call and told him I wasn't interested in getting another "project car" like the one I had already. Interesting how a dealership would sell such a rough car "as-is" especially with an asking price of $10,500. Did they service the transmission, fix the power seats and replace the hood-hinge? I didn't ask lest I give the impression I was still interested in it. 

Amazingly, as put-off by this car as I was, I wasn't dismayed. Well, maybe just a little as I think if I was to get one of these I'd opt for an automatic. I'm still casually looking for an L-98 powered, C4 convertible and I know if I put my mind to it I will find one. Only, again, not this one. 









 

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