I found this old "Dustbuster" on Facebook Marketplace recently with an asking price of $14,500. That's a lot of money for a vehicle that got its nickname from the seminal, wall-mounted Black and Decker appliance to say nothing of its shoddy build quality, wonky ergonomics, being grossly underpowered (especially at first) and having abysmal NHTSA crash-test ratings. Chevrolet and Oldsmobile had similar looking vans of their own, but the Pontiac Trans Sport was always my favorite; although I liked the longer shnozzed 1990-1993's better than these 1994-1996 models with their truncated front ends. This got me thinking, what with but a smattering of minivans only available today, what happened to a vehicle segment that was once so dominant?
Is the minivan as we once knew it actually dead (or dying) or has it just evolved into today's amorphous, wholly less practical four-wheeled-blobs known as crossovers? There's but a smattering of minivans left on the market these days, neighbors with a gaggle of young boys just bought a Chrysler Pacifica and they love it, but really, save for the lack of sliding doors on either side, is there much of a difference between a Chevrolet Traverse and the neighbor's new Pacifica? While we're at it, is there much of a difference between a Traverse and our inexplicably free of spilled juice-box stains Trans Sport here?
All but from the get-go, minivans were tagged with the dreaded "mom-mobile" adage that also dogged station wagons, the vehicle segment that minivans did in. Just like station wagons, though, that adage didn't stop families from buying them. However, minivans evoked deep-seated wanderlust. A feeling youth had past buyers by, and life was no longer an adventure but a series of chores, tasks and responsibilities. Smile for that family Christmas card everybody even though you're miserable and bored to death inside. Therefore, you can't blame Pontiac for at least trying to put a little zing in the Monday night meatloaf recipe.
The notion at first was, having been there and done that, absurd, especially considering all the other issues the Trans Sport had. However, it didn't take a rocket scientist, automobile engineer, marketing wonk or product planner to realize that merging the decidedly non "mom-mobile" ethos of trucks with the practicality of mini-vans with some degree of sporting elan might be a marketable vehicle. Problem was, in the mid-1990's, making such a vehicle was all but. abstract.
That same notion in the 1990's gave rise to the popularity of SUV's as non-mom-mobiles. Especially as The Big figured out how to smooth out enough of their truck's quirks to make them suitable for family-duty. Also, there was something alluring about a vehicle segment whose acronym started with the word, "sport". Granted, there wasn't much of anything "sporty" about an SUV, but they seemed imminently "sportier" than a minivan. Even one with the word "sport" in it like our Trans Sport here.
Still, it took General Motors forever to figure out the whole CUV thing. While their truck-based SUV's kept getting better and better and they did make marked improvements to their "U-body" vans starting in 1997 (sliding doors on both sides!), they really didn't sort out the cross-over thing until the debut of GMC Acadia in 2007 and Chevrolet Traverse and Buick Enclave in 2008. All of which were, c'mon now, nothing more than a minivan with no sliders. Saturn even got one they called, "Outlook". Pop-quiz, did Saturn ever get a minivan? Ding-ding-ding! Yes, they did, Sparky. Something they called "Relay" from 2005-2007.
Subsequently, the last U-body GM minivan rolled out of production in 2009. Ford, incidentally, who came with their world beating Mazda-developed "Escape" in 2001, threw in their minivan towel in 2007. Chrysler, seeing a hole in the market, has continued to push minivans out. God bless 'em too. You have to see the rolling man-cave on wheels that is the neighbor's Chrysler Pacifica. I wouldn't be caught dead with it in my driveway, but I wouldn't mind watching the Godfather trilogy on its massive rear infotainment screen on a road trip from Cleveland to D.C. Are we there yet?
As far as the trend-setting Pontiac Trans Sport goes, when GM rebooted the U-bodies for 1997, they introduced an even more cladded up, outdoorsy thing they dubbed Trans Sport "Montana" that emulated SUV's. Well, to a point. Apparently, it was so popular that Pontiac rebranded all Pontiac minivans "Montana" starting in 1998. Mini-vans styled as pseudo sports-cars may have failed but as rugged "Jeep meets an SUV" type of thing? Bring it on.
Trying to take the minivan combined with an SUV ethos one step further, in 2000, Pontiac introduced the legendary Aztec which, thank you "Breaking Bad", has aged somewhat better than anyone would have imagined. A good idea on paper, actually a great one when you think about it, its design was so unusual, though, it was dubbed, "The Angry Dumpster". Again, it took GM several years and tries to figure the whole "CUV" thing out. Buick even got a version of the minivan-based Pontiac Angry Dumpster they called the "Rendezvous". These days, Buick doesn't even sell what was once considered a "car" as their entire lineup subsists of crossovers.
The future. How did we get here from the 1990's? You can start with the ant-mom-mobile Pontiac Trans Sport. Oh, and, whatever you do, if you have a crossover, please never refer to it as a truck. If you do that, we can't be friends.
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