As far as my being an automobile enthusiast goes, and the definition of which is as wide as the gulf between the earth and stars, born in 1964 means I was born either a decade late or early. Born late implying I missed out on the golden age of the muscle and pony car party. Born too soon meant I grew up square into the teeth of the great downsizing epoch. Although, he swallows hard, I'm technically a "Boomer" (I identify as Gen X), I had a front row seat witnessing the shrink-raying of the Great (Big) American Automobile of which this 1990 Oldsmobile 88 Royale was part in parcel. Write about you know; isn't that what they say?
Introduced for model-year 1986, the Oldsmobile 88 and it's kissin' cousin Buick LeSabre were far more a radical departure than General Motors' much ballyhooed 1977 downsized wares were. With front-wheel-drive, rack-and-pinion steering and transverse-mounted, port-fuel injected V-6 engines, in the broadest sense possible, they really made the darling class of '77 out to be what they really were - just somewhat shrunken versions of what GM had been pushing out since they went to all-steel bodies in the early '30's.
Contemporary road tests were generally good; a stark turnabout from the acidic, damning with faint praise (if that) prose auto scribes had been ejaculating for years about domestic cars. They lauded their efficient interior packaging although being almost five-inches less wide than what they replaced, they chastised GM for calling them six-passenger conveyances. Perhaps in a pinch but on a long haul the middle seat rear passenger at least would be as uncomfortable as anyone who ever had to sit on "The Hump" in rear-wheel-drivers. These cars still had a hump for the exhaust to pass under, but it was more like a bump rather than a full-on hump.
On the plus side of the ledger, these cars could handle, brake and accelerate with an aplomb heretofore never seen before in an American car. They were also bolted, screwed and glued together far better than American cars had been in years. As good as what came ashore from Honda, Toyota and Nissan? Well, let's not get carried away here.
If anything, and, yes, this is subjective, their styling came up short. Way short. Even the coupe versions of these cars, Buick had one too, while more interesting to look at than these sedans, have a semi-awkwardness to them. Like folks whose doctors told them, "lose weight or die" and crash diet to the point they're unrecognizable. Good thing those folks feel better and their vitals are fantastic.
My first experience with one of these was in the fall of 1987 when my father rented one of these. Damning the rental agreement forbidding those under twenty-five from driving it, I grabbed the keys for a good old-fashioned "stab and steer". Despite having all of 165-horsepower and 220-pounds of torque, I thought the 3,300-lb little 88 took off like a literal "Olds Rocket". Helped that I continually nailed the gas through the fire wall but still, compared to the hoary "307" in my '82 Buick Riviera, it was then and there I fell in love with the "3800". That 88's responsive handling and "stop-right-now" brakes were also quite fetching - it was a fun experience that waxing nostalgic about it now, probably wasn't nearly as great as I remember it as being, but , again, everything is relative.
It's somewhat ironic, however, that these cars haven't appreciated in value. This blue-on-blue 1990 88 with a scant 60,000-miles on its analog ticker is for sale on Facebook Marketplace at dealership in Cleveland, Ohio for $5,800. That's a good thousand-bucks more than you'd pay privately, but you know a 1985 Olds 88, the last year Oldsmobile offered the old B-body, class of 1977 rear-wheel-driver, in this kind of shape with this few miles on it would have an asking price of twice that. Two-door versions a good ten- to twenty-percent more.
Why's that? Well, that's a question only a non-automobile enthusiast would or could ask. There are some things in life that simply are and we have to accept. Mind you, that doesn't make it wrong or right; it is what it is.
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