1981 Dodge Mirada - There's a Sucker Born Every Minute

Here's something you don't see everyday and you didn't see many of them back in the early 1980's either. This is a 1981 Dodge Mirada (a what?) I found for sale on Facebook Marketplace. Asking price? Dramatic pause, please...$15,000. Yes, fifteen-thousand-dollars. Get this, it has 109,000-miles on its 42-year-old analog ticker too. I don't know what's crazier, the asking price or the "dubs" (wheels). Are those "20's"? Perhaps "22's"? How big do they make these things anyway? 

The Dodge Mirada was Dodge's replacement for their 1978-1979 Magnum which itself replaced their lightly disguised 1975-1977 Chrysler Cordoba clone they called "Charger". That Charger replaced their fabulous 1971-1974 vintage "fuselage" Charger that replaced the legendary 1968-1970 "General Lee" era Charger. The "General Lee" replaced the gruesome, sorry, that's harsh, 1966-1967 Charger. Got all that? 

Maybe the seller of this car will convince you that underneath its handsome but oh-so-angular sheet metal there's an updated version of Bo and Luke's steed but that's not the case. In fact, this car is more Plymouth Volare than anything as it rides on the Volare four-door's 112.7-inch long wheelbase. Dodge taking a page from Chevrolet and Pontiac's playbook - they too used the longer sedan version of GM's then current intermediate chassis to create their Monte Carlo and Grand Prix. That would be the 1969-1977 iterations of both not the farcical facsimiles that followed. 

Problem with this car being based on the Plymouth Volare was that the Volare rode on a mildly updated chassis that the Plymouth Duster was bolted to. The Duster harkened back to suspension technology that was questionably advanced at the end of the second Eisenhower administration. 

While I think the lines on this car are actually quite handsome, the way this car rides and handles is its weak point. Sure, it goes, turns and stops, but it doesn't do so happily or makes someone think they're a better driver than they are. It's solid-axle rear suspension combined with Chrysler's convoluted transverse torsion bar front set up didn't lend itself to laser precise handling prowess. Body-on-frame construction may have meant a nice, quiet, supple and compliant ride, but combined with seats that had little lateral support, this car's a handful to drive. To be safe, use both hands. And the large wheels and tires would only add to its primitive harshness. 

The passage of time has eroded away just how curious these cars were when they first came out in 1980. In the deepest throes of a second energy crisis in five years, and one that pushed the price of a gallon of gas over $1-per gallon for the first time, cash-strapped Chrysler came with this car (and a similar Cordoba and Imperial) that was not what the public wanted or needed at the time. Yeah, yeah, it came standard with a "Slant Six" bowing to fuel economy concerns of the times, but the golden days of the personal luxury car were coming to an abrupt end, a market segment once so molten hot cooling quickly into a boutique, niche market lump.  

That's not to say there's nothing to like about this car. There actually is plenty to appreciate. Again, I like it's angular lines although the front end, which emulates the 1978-1979 Magnum's, is wonky. The interior is at least cool looking, who doesn't love a "Tuff" steering wheel? The wheels are ridiculous but I'd look into whether or not the originals come with the car. Sometimes they do. This looks like it's for sale at dealership so maybe not. 

As far as the asking price goes, well, seeing how clean the engine is and that it's obviously had work done to it, is someone thinking they can recoup what they dropped on rebuilding it? How much could that have been?  I can't tell a Chrysler 318 from a 360 by just looking at it but safe to say that's nothing more exotic than a 360 down there. For '81, the only V-8 available on these cars was a 120-horsepower, 318-cubic incher fed with a two-barrel carburetor so if this is in fact a 360, it's a transplant. Throw in a 2.47:1 rear end and in stock guise, you'll have waited roughly 15-seconds for 60-mph to roll around and nearly 20-seconds for the quarter mile. At just 73-mph.  

The B&M shifter is a curious, sporty looking addition but this install here is not without issue s. Let's assume it works properly, but who ever put it in didn't change the steering column out. Look closely and you'll see the stock shifter on the column. Yes, that's major surgery and good luck finding a shifter free column but still, for $15,000 you'd expect more. 

J.D. Power pegs one of these high retail at $2,500 so there's a gigantic spread between "book value" and retail asking price here. To me, it's an insurmountable gulf, I mean, what are you going to do, offer half the asking price and hope to split the difference? Ten- or eleven-grand is still way too much money for this but as my friend in the business says there's an arse for every seat. And as P.T. Barnum is credited with saying, "there's a sucker born every minute".