1983 Oldsmobile Cutlass - Old Man Smell

I just blogged about a 1986 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme so this one will be brief. This 1983 Cutlass Supreme Brougham popped up on Facebook Marketplace recently, I swear I wasn't looking for it but rather than another soliloquy about my personal experience with these cars or a deep dive on the history of GM "A- and G-bodies", I'll focus on this car itself and determine if it's worth my time to kick its cheesy fake wire wheel covers. Asking price is $6,000. 

While I'd prefer a Cutlass Supreme or Cutlass Calais, this car ain't all bad. She's only had two-owners, there are just 88,000-miles on her, and there's a smooth and sturdy Oldsmobile 307 V-8 under the hood. Downside, it has a prone to failure, three-speed THM200 automatic, the AC doesn't work, gas gauge is inaccurate and while the frame is allegedly solid, there are a number of rust issues. Like this. 

And this...

and this. 

Whoops. Missed a couple. There's also this...

And this. Good grief, are those cobwebs? 

Let's give the poster of the ad credit for attempting to be as disclosing as possible. However, I don't care how old a car is or how much I'm paying for it, the slightest rust bubble to me is a deal killer since even the teeny, tiniest bubble is just the tip of the iceberg. And this car has a lot of icebergs. 

                                                                                     

I say I'd prefer a Cutlass Supreme over a Brougham because of these seats. Buyers who checked the "Brougham" box on the Cutlass order form got these "loose, tufted pillow-top" seats straight out of an Oldsmobile 98 Regency that somehow and someway came to connotate luxury. My 1986 Pontiac Grand Prix Brougham had them and they were lumpy back breakers - I could never get comfortable in them or on them. What's more, if you have an oldie with these wretched things, every once in a while, have them professionally deep cleaned to get rid of that "old man" smell these cars are famous for. 

                                                                                            

If you look closely, that gap between the front of the door and the back of the front fender is suspiciously large and the chrome trim on the bottom appears to jut around from where the door trim is too. Why would that be? Pictures don't lie and that could only look worse in person. This car could be a handful. And for six-grand? Sorry, as much as I love these cars, this one too despite the interior, I'd make a hard pass on. 

1955 Buick Roadmaster - Who's a Good Boy?

This four-door, 1955 Buick Roadmaster is not my cup of antifreeze, but it's been popping up on Marketplace on me like a puppy trying to get my attention at the animal shelter. Softie that I am, I felt obliged to give it a snackie and rub its patina rich belly. Who's a good boy? 

This is for sale in the town just west of us and the shape it's in goes to show you how the heating and cooling extremes up here on The Lake wreak havoc on cars, homes too. Between Memorial Day and Labor Day, it's "shoot me" hot and muggy, the winters are long and brutal, it rains here more than it does in famously rainy Seattle, Washington too. Upside is, September and October are divine; the calm before the White Death. 

Sadly, our Good Boy here is a non-running basket case that doesn't have keys or a title and has an asking price of $2,500. The keys we can work around but the missing title? If there's no documentation as to who's the owner, this might as well get pushed onto a frozen Lake Erie and wait for spring. Be sure to drain the tank and fluids! 

The "Roadmaster", which was as hyperbolic a name for a car as there's ever been, was Buick's top-of-the-line model from 1936 through 1958 and then again, from 1991-1996. I thought it odd that Buick, who's forever struggled with an "old" image, resurrected the Roadmaster nameplate in the '90's and festooned it to such an "old" car. When I think "Roadmaster" one of these geezers is what I think of. Cobwebs and all. 

Like a puppy or cat you fall in love with at the shelter that you can't take home, you hope for the best for them. I doubt anyone would buy this and restore it even if they're able to figure out the title issue. NADA generously values '55 Roadmasters in "good condition" at $27,500 - no doubt that's for coupes too. I don't mind the time and elbow grease that would have to go into this, it's the amount of money it would take to get it up to snuff. It would take a lot more than $27,500. 

Last time I checked, they had dropped the price $500. 

1979 Chevrolet Impala Sport Coupe - Hot Bent

                                                                                                                                                   

These downsized, "Class of 1977" General Motors "B-bodies" are getting harder to find, especially ones in decent shape like this 1979 Chevrolet Impala Sport Coupe. Although I'm generally ambivalent towards these cars, I felt an obligation, my duty as it were, to blog about this one when it popped up on Marketplace recently. Although, again, when it comes to these downsized GM Bodies, I'm a take 'em or leave 'em kind of girl. Especially these 1977-1979 Chevrolet coupes.  

These cars might be fine, I might even like them except for that rear roof line and windshield or backlight, so named because they allow light into the car. A trick piece of engineering for sure that, my blog, my opinion, seems out of place with the nature of the rest of the car. A "bubble back", 1961 Chevrolet Impala Sport Coupe this is not although it's obvious, they were attempting to emulate the famed rear window of those Impala's or yore. 

That window is not three pieces of glass glued together with some space-age polymer but a bent, single piece of glass. General Motors partnered with Pittsburgh Plate Glass who had a process called "Hot Bent Wire" where glass was heated and then bent over iron wires to spec. Oldsmobile contracted PPG to do something similar with their 1977 and 1978 Toronado XS. Problem was the failure or "scrap rate" was high and that cut into profit margins. 

Suffice to say, when the Impala and Caprice were updated for 1980 along with all the other "1977" GM full size cars, the "hot bent" backlight went into the cost savings dumpster. Rarely does a bookkeeping decision result in a better-looking automobile, but, my two cents, it did. Above is a 1980 Caprice coupe. 

The "hot bent" Toronado, above, went the way of the dodo after 1978. The new "E-body" Toronado that came out in 1979, mercifully, didn't get one.

Our beige-on-camel or camel-on-beige Impala Sport Coupe had just 62,000-miles on her 48-year-old analog ticker, had no rust, no real wear on its vinyl seats and even the air blew cold. It was listed for "just" $7,500, a lot of B-body for the money, I, pun intended, can't see past that hot bent backlight. 

Chevrolet got out of the Impala coupe business after 1982, the last Caprice coupe rolled off assembly lines in 1987. 

1989 Oldsmobile Touring Sedan - The Illusion of Affluence

I was westbound on the Ohio Turnpike the other day when I spotted a boxy little thing on a vehicle transporter in the center lane that looked familiar from a quarter mile or so away. The stubby but attractive three-box-body, the glistening directional alloy rims, chunky tires and tasteful, oh-so-'80's cladding, Yup, it could have been only one thing, a late 1980's, Oldsmobile Touring Sedan. I found this '89 online for illustrative purposes, the only difference is that flatbed Olds was silver. 

As I passed by it, just like that, I was 24 years old again looking up at what I perceived at the time to be an aspirational purchase of wealthy, muckity mucks. Growing up strapped and wanting for most everything, the trappings of "the rich" fascinated me. What was it like to be able to buy anything you wanted? And not buy it? Funny how old cars in the condition we remember them in when they were new are such wonderful time machines. We change; they don't. Imagine what a kick in the head it was to me when I realized that many people who look "rich", ain't rich. 

Well, the real rich or posers weren't buying these cars. Oldsmobile sold less than 5,000 Touring Sedans a year from 1987 through 1990. That was somewhat understandable given these were niche vehicles, but the lack of Touring Sedan sales was a symptom of a larger problem General Motors had with their "Rocket" division; Oldsmobile sales were plunging overall. From a peak of just over a million units sold in 1984, 1985 and 1986 to approximately half that in 1990. 

In particular, "98" sales, these cars are "98's" in leg warmers, were way off. These "little" 98's came out in 1985, and they sold well, Oldsmobile moving 122,421 units in a protracted 1985 model year. They sold just 48,022 in 1990 the last year for these cars before an abortive upsizing for 1991. Numbers don't lie; something was wrong. But what? 

For Oldsmobile in the late '80's, it was all about timing. Bad timing. Just as they rebooted their entire lineup, after years of vilifying it, "Boomers" were coming into money and when they looked to make an aspirational automobile purchase, forget Oldsmobile or anything domestic, those crazy kids went straight to the German car store. 

In fairness, it was akin to an earthquake how quickly the market shifted on Oldsmobile from 1986 to 1987 with sales dropping by nearly 300,000 year-over-year. And they kept on dropping as the '80s melted into the '90's. But that's the way it happens. Like a favorite, aging athlete having one inexplicably bad game. And like that athlete, Oldsmobile never had another good game. Again, though, in Oldsmobile's case, the game changed. No longer could Oldsmobile be all things to all people. Between us girls, how they did so for as long as they did was, in my opinion, more perplexing than their demise was. 

Certainly, didn't help that General Motors sold so many different versions of the same car. Pontiac, Buick and Cadillac all got one of these, curiously, Chevrolet did not. And they were, let's be honest, variations on a theme versus being truly different from each other. 

When Olds buyers checked the Touring Sedan box, they got an Oldsmobile 98 with the FE3 sports suspension which came with firmer springs, gas-charged struts, a quicker steering rack, fatter anti-roll bars, and 16-inch, directional alloy rims with fat tires. They also got a unique interior with front buckets and a floor-shifter; the first Oldsmobile sedan ever sold with an automatic transmission shifter inside a console. Heady stuff for an Oldsmobile four-door sedan in the late 1980's. 

As much as I liked these cars, however, back in the day, I wouldn't have been caught dead driving one. Why? Because, he says sheepishly, the ladies would've thought I was driving someone else's car or worse yet, my father's car. When you're in your teens, it's impressive, or was back then, to be seen simply driving. By the time you're in your mid-twenties, it's about what you're driving. And an Oldsmobile Touring Sedan, despite its handsome good looks and capable nature, wasn't a good look for this young troubadour. 

Not that I could have afforded one.

 

1960 Pontiac Catalina - Jet Age Dreams

To my parent's generation, 1960 was their "2000". A time so far off in the future it didn't seem possible that they'd ever get there. When they were kids, they'd dream of a space age future full of cars that were jet powered and would whisk them to where they were going seemingly in the blink of an eye. When 1960 came around, what did they get? Cars like this Pontiac Catalina. I found this on Marketplace recently for sale down near Akron. Asking price is $30,000. I know. Wow. 

1960 came and went and with it, another semi-reboot for General Motors. And the results were, umm, mixed. Cadillac and Chevrolet benefitted greatly from the model year calendar flip, Buick, Oldsmobile and Pontiac? Welp, in my opinion, not so much. GM's full-sized middle children didn't hit their stride design wise until 1961. 

Pontiac first used "Catalina" in 1950 to denote their version of the GM A-body hardtop on their Chieftan series; they added it to their Star Chief line in 1954 and Super Chief in 1957. Thus, through 1958, all Pontiac two- and four-door hardtops were "Catalina's".

In 1959, Catalina became its own distinct model replacing the Chieftan and Super Chief as Pontiac's "junior" models below the Bonneville. Trust me, you're not alone here thinking that Pontiac's model name schematics were a tad wonky in the '50's. Chieftain, Star Chief, Super Chief, Bonneville, Catalina and so on. 

Our '60 Catalina here part of GM's infamous class of 1959 models that were, without question, some of the most outrageously, if not ridiculously over-styled automobiles of all time. Seemed Harley Earl and company lost their minds when they saw Chrysler's new-for-1957 models in the fall of 1956 and rushed like hell to redo their 1958 lineup smearing every ounce of cream cheese frosting they could muster onto their designs, but they didn't get to the church on time. So, what were supposed to be the mad dash '58's became the '59's. The rest, as we say, is history. 

Good news was, Harley Earl was retiring and his protege, Bill Mitchell was put it in charge. Mr. Mitchell, whom I adore, did his best to tone down the '59's for 1960 but there was only so much he could do with the albatrosses he was given. So, if you're not a fan of a particular 1959 GM vehicle, chances are you wouldn't like the 1960 models. 

Curiously, for 1960, Mr, Mitchell and his team dropped the distinctive, pinched, split-grill motif that was introduced on the '59's. I know I'm not alone being a fan of it since it came back in 1961 and was a styling staple of all Pontiac's right to the bitter end. 

Without it, again, just my two cents here, our '60 Catalina here is rather generic looking old barge. it could be a Ford or a Mercury, a Chrysler or a DeSoto. One that's in pretty good shape too although, what's with the back window on the convertible top? 

Thirty-grand seems all the money in the world for this thing although I'm jaded because I've had my fill of hard to drive, ill-handling, under powered jalopies. I never thought I'd be "that guy" but here I am! 

To my parent's generation, though, we have to remember that they grew up not only at the end of the horse and buggy era, but the cars they first experienced were spindly, sputtering Model T type cars that rode like wagons with square wheels. Cars like this big Poncho rode like they were on clouds and when you closed up the windows and had the top up, were the picture of modern perfection. 

I guess their jet age dreams did come true. 

 

1956 Lincoln Premiere - Lavender Creme Puff

What in the name of Sam Hill is this? Some sort of Packard or Imperial? Nope. Try again. Studebaker? Henry J? Kaiser? Hudson? Wrong again, hubcap breath. It's a 1956 Lincoln Premiere. This lavender creme puff popped up on Marketplace recently with an asking price of, you better sit down in your color coordinated leather seats, $35,500. 

The Premiere was new for 1956 and was Lincoln's top-of-the-line model sub-planting the "Capri" at the top of Lincoln's two-model lineup. Going back to 1952, the Capri was the end all and be all Lincoln, what they called the Cosmopolitan was their "entry-level" model. I don't know what was worse; the design of the cars or what they called them. 

Not only was the Premiere a far better name for a car, but the cars themselves where the best-looking things Lincoln came up with since Edsel Ford introduced the first Continental in 1939.

Lincoln had a tough go of it in the 1950's. Cadillac ate not only their lunch, but their breakfast, dinner, midnight snacks and Sunday brunch. Lincoln sold only 317,371 cars from 1950 through 1959 meanwhile Cadillac sold 1.2 million. That was because Cadillac owned the narrow, domestic luxury car niche through economies of scale, marketing and styling. That they also had an image of engineering innovation although that was beginning to wane as features once exclusive to Cadillac began to trickle down to "lesser" GM makes and models. Lincoln did themselves no favors either in the years after the war coming with designs that looked exactly like what they were - tarted up Mercury's. Perhaps the inverse was true; not that it mattered. This car shares its underpinnings with the Mercury Montclair. 

The Lincoln Motor Company was founded by Henry Leland in 1917, somewhat ironically, he also founded Cadillac but was forced out after General Motors purchased Cadillac from him in 1908. Things didn't go as well for Mr. Leland the second time around and with his new company all but bankrupt, Henry Ford bought it from him for a song in 1922 and put his son Edsel in charge of it. 

Lincoln's first post-war designs were, frankly, especially in comparison to Cadillac, a tad out there and not in a good way. While they did have some rather handsome and memorable designs before the war, after the war was a different story. 

In my opinion, their best-looking model of the 1950's were these cars. Designer Bill Schmidt, who drew up the fabulous if not over-the-top 1955 Lincoln Futura concept car, recycled much of the Futura when he penned these cars. Save for the front end that's nothing if not ordinary, there's not a bad line on it. 

This '56 Lincoln is, without question, the only Lincoln made between 1945 and 1960 I'd seriously consider although I chafe at the asking price for this one. Funny, I wouldn't think twice about dropping that much on a '56 Cadillac in this condition. The wife might have a hard to approving that purchase order, though. 

The Marketplace ad is light on the details; there's no information as to how original this car is or not. I can't imagine it is all that original, looks like someone dropped a ton restoring it and is now attempting to recoup their losses. Or expenditures. 

That person won't be me. Will it be you? 

 

1974 Jensen Interceptor III - What Does Zuckerberg Know (That I Don't?)

Facebook Marketplace's algorithms are kind of crazy, aren't they? The other day I was searching for parts for my 1991 Corvette and this 1974 Jensen Interceptor popped up. Go figure. Maybe Zuckerberg knows something I don't? Must say, I've always found these cars as interesting as a flaming car wreck. You thank goodness you're not involved but you can't look away. 

                                 

This "basket case", as we call cars that need literally and figuratively everything, is for sale down in Fort Lauderdale, Florida with an asking price of $5,500. If the asking price makes you chuckle, there are issues with the title that we need to straighten out before we make the traipse south to pick it up. While the engine does not start, it does crank and it being in Florida, there's minimal if any rust. Am I joking? Seriously? You have to ask? 

So, what are these things that resemble cars I used to scribble I was a kid? Full disclosure, I still do. 

                                     

They were built between 1966 and 1976 and were the brainchild of English automobile parts purveyors Alan and Richard Jensen who dabbled, make that more like doodled, in automobile design. The Jensen' brothers supplied parts to a number of manufacturers including Austin and Volvo and in their spare time, would work on cars of their own design. One of those designs was something they called the "Interceptor". 

  

The car's bodies were designed by Italian design house Carrozzeria Touring, and were built, by hand, in Italy by Vignale. Where they were built wasn't Alan and Richard's choosing. Being crack car builders, they would have preferred they were built in England, but the team they put together to manage their company insisted the cars be built in Italy. The Jensen's left the company shortly after production began in 1966. 

                                         

Only 6408 Interceptors were built making our sunbaked lounge lizard here pretty unique. Interceptors were very expensive and were the "cars of the stars" fifty-years ago. Farrah Fawcett drove one, golfing legend Jack Nicklaus and Jon Bonham of Led Zeppelin too. 

Poster of the ad says the car needs a complete restoration. That won't be inexpensive. 

                                         

This car will need to be dismantled; parts cataloged and then painstakingly put back together. The whole process could take years. 

                                          

Interceptors in good condition are valued at around $50,000, ones in Concours shape more than $120,000. Before you rush down to Lauderdale thinking this is a sitting gold mine, understand those are pie-in-the-sky numbers. Just because something is valued at something doesn't mean it will go for that or would be easy to sell. 

                                          

These cars were never profitable for Jensen and powered by Chrysler's 440 cubic-inch V-8 and three-speed Torque Flite transmission, were terrible on gas. The United States was the most popular market for them and the energy crisis kicked in the glass hatch on sales that weren't very good in the first place. 

                                          

The company in its "original form" went under in 1976. Another group of investors attempted to build all but the same cars in 1983 building just 14. Yet another tried again in 1990 through 1993 building 36 copies before throwing in the towel. 

                                

Can't wait to see what Meta has in store for me the next time I search for bucket seats for my 1991 Corvette.