Saturday, November 16, 2013

2001 Dodge Neon


When I was working in the sports department of the Vignette, the student run, faculty supervised, Nassau Community College newspaper, I came to the realization that I wasn't cut out for a career as a sports scribe because I don't like all sports. Sure, football, baseball and hockey are passions of mine and my articles about those sports wrote themselves. However, having limited to no interest in basketball, tennis, volleyball, fencing...badminton...my covering of those sporting events was laborious, boring, tedious. In my youthful effervescence, that some mistakenly believed was arrogance, I quit the newspaper rather than subject myself to covering sports I found less than interesting.

 
Fancying myself an automotive journalist of sorts, I've also come to the harsh realization that there are cars that are just like covering women's basketball or water polo. Take this Dodge Neon for example. If I was working for an auto rag, no doubt I would have to write about it or something equally uninteresting to me. It's at that point that a compassionate editor would have to take me aside, put their hand on my shoulder and whisper gently, "writing about things that don't interest you is part of the job, son". With that in mind, friends, my personal assignment today is to write about it. Write anything about it.


Really? Well, yeah. Let's give it a shot. At least to say I did. Bear with me. Here goes. Ahem.


This is a 2001 Dodge Neon. I know. It looks older than that, doesn't it? It's an unreliable, poorly built piece of junk. It's boring and I hate it. There. Can I go now? Please?


Hardy-har-har. Ok. Let's be serious for a minute or two. Now, actually, when it first came out, nearly twenty years ago, "The Chrysler Neons", Chrysler sold a Plymouth and Dodge Neon that were the same car, were quite the revelation. They were  stylish, roomy and spirited too, thanks to a power to ratio that we take for granted today.


Chrysler sold buckets and buckets and buckets of Neons. Had they finally figured out a successful American recipe for building and selling a small car? No. Of course not. They moved the quantity they did because they wisely priced them lower than both foreign and domestic competition.  This made Japanese auto executives nervous since small cars had always been their bread and butter. They really had nothing to worry about, though.  The Neons flickered and stopped working while Japanese cars built during the mid 1990's may never stop running. At the end of the day, quality always wins.


The Neon had its fair share of problems. As cute as a button as they were, when the head gaskets blows around fifty or sixty thousand miles into ownership, that's not so cute. And when a model is first starting out, any bad press is not good press. 

 
If you've ever shopped for an older used car, as I do seemingly on a constant basis for one reason or another, you'll come across these puckish little scooters. Do some research on them and you'll quickly find yourself searching for a Honda Civic of the same vintage. 

 
Well, there you have it, America. I did a blog about a car that I could care less about. For my next trick, I'll contact my editor at the Vignette and tell him that I'll gladly cover that badminton match. 
 
Cheers.
 

 

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