2004 Chrysler Pacifica - They Love Their Buckeyes In Ohio

If there was ever a minivan that I thought I could own based solely on the way it looks, it would have been Chrysler's 2004 vintage Pacifica.  I'd never driven one until Christmas break in South Florida so you could imagine my child like fervor as I fumbled with the keys to this Pacifica that was loaned to my mother in law by her wonderful neighbors. It was also an opportunity for me to get a break from the droning that was our CVT equipped Patriot.

Years ago the Pacifica, that's one helluva cool name by the way, debuted as one of the world's first "cross overs", complete with available All Wheel Drive. Our Pacifica here is actually a Columbus, Ohio based vehicle so that would explain the AWD drive option. You don't see many AWD anything in tropical South Florida. Also explains the OSU front licence plate. They love their Buckeyes in Ohio.

Chrysler billed the Pacifica as a "Sports Tourer", not a mini van; their attempt years ago to market a mini van that was not, allegedly, a mini van. Like station wagons of yore, a stigma apparently had developed about mommymobiles and the Pacifica was going to change that. I never understood why anyone would be hesitant about showing off that they had a family but perhaps that's just me. Stylistically it worked beautifully; this is a good looking whatever it is.

Powered by no less than Chrysler's at one time heroically powerful 3.5 liter, SOHC, 24 valve V-6, the Pacifica was, get this, slower than the Patriot we rented. Toting 250 horsepower, how could that be? Seriously, this thing was so stuck in the mud slow that I thought that something was either wrong with the engine or that the emergency brake was stuck on.

Nope. No such luck. Plain and simple the Pacifica had a weight problem; 4700 pounds of weight problem. Let's put that in perspective - my old man's 1972 Cadillac De Ville weighed 4700 pounds and that was considered massively heavy back then. 2 1/2 tons, that's a lot of weight to off set and Chrysler probably should have had at least their 4.7 liter OHC V-8 under hood not to mention a transverse mounted HEMI V-8. That would have been interesting, don't ya think?

No dice. Shoe horning in a V-8 would have required modifying the minivan chassis that the Pacifica rides on. Shame too since aside from the very sluggish engine I kind of liked the Pacifica and for more reasons than just its handsome good looks. By the way, try as they might have, the Pacifica is and was a minivan. It rode down the same assembly line as other Chrysler mini vans and despite some hacking and sawing, it's got for all intents and purposes the same chassis. Not unlike Honda using their Odyssey chassis for their fabulous Pilot and Acura MDX. Oh, and there has never been a V-8 powered mini van. Seeing that the world has gone turbo in line 4 crazy these days, it would appear that there never will be. Even V-6 engines are on the lamb it would seem.



Contemporary road tests, which were very kind over all to it, described the Pacifica's acceleration as "relaxed" in AWD Pacifica models so I know it was not just me finding this thing as slow as a brick. By 2017 standards this now thirteen year old Pacifica  made the wonky CVT Patriot seem down right sporty by comparison. Side note, can you believe that 2004 was now thirteen years ago?

Inside, I wasn't a fan of this overly complex HVAC and radio "stack"; too many damn buttons. The AC blew very cold air but it was extremely noisy doing so, it sounded like a ShopVac. Black on black in South Florida sun, even in December, was akin to sitting in a lit barbecue pit but thankfully the AC brought the temperature inside the cabin down to a frosty 68 degrees in a hurry. Even our 18 year old sitting out back in the third row felt compelled to look up from his phone for a half a second to tell us that he thought the cabin was plenty "chill". His words.

The Pacifica had smooth, if not numb handling and the brakes scrubbed off what if any speed I was able to garner. Traffic in Jupiter in winter time is quite heavy what with all the snowbirds escaping the tundra that is the northern reaches of the country and beyond. Lots of Canadians down there btw. Nicest people. You get any vehicle up to anything above 15 miles per hour along its clogged roadways and you feel like you're at the 500.

The throne like seats were very comfortable and the sound system, despite it's complexity sounded great.

Perhaps I'm a sucker for speed or still a child at heart but I couldn't wait to get my hands back on our little Patriot as soon as possible. What's more, when we got back to Cleveland I wanted to kiss the plastic engine cover on our Vortec 5300 powered Chevy Tahoe. Amazing that anyone would purchase a vehicle so underpowered but again, that's just me.

The Chrysler Pacifica was a great idea for Chrysler but it either spurred development of the cross over vehicles that we know today or it had poor timing. Within a year or two after its introduction, smaller, more nimble, stylish, utility based vehicles began being offered by virtually every manufacturer. Including Chrysler. Those types of vehicles that are relegating not only minivans to second tier status but are endangering the future of sedans. The Pacifica, which again was marketed as a "Sports Tourer" and not a minivan, was discontinued by Chrysler after model year 2008. Ironies of ironies it's back for 2017. As an unapologetic "minivan".