1973 Plymouth "Roadrunner" - Playing Dress Up

I don't usually don't blog about cars I've already blogged about but I do make exceptions. And this "Top Banana" or "Lemon Twist" 1973 "Roadrunner" is either a tribute car, facsimile, a fake or what is more commonly referred to as a clone.  In biology, clones are genetically identical and while this car and the car it portends to be are similar and do share a lot of genes, they're far from identical.  Clone cars rarely if ever are. Clones are little more than cars that are dressed up to appear to be more than what they originally were. This car's VIN will never make it a Roadrunner; it's at best a Satellite Sport. Why anyone would make a Roadrunner out of a Satellite is anyone's guess not to mention asking $19,000 for it but such is life. Yes, and good grief, nineteen grand. That's a lot of money for a clone of anything not to mention it being a 45 year old, non-GM muscle car of sorts. Shoot, this isn't even a Barracuda or Challenger. Here's the listing. At least they were upfront about it being a clone.
 

I wouldn't pay half that for this thing; after all $19G is 1973 Corvette money. You'd think for that much cash you could find a real Roadrunner in similar condition. Also, if you spent that much on a 1973 Corvette you'd never have to explain what a clone is and no one would ever question whether or not the car was legitimate. She sure is nice, though despite being a 1973 "Roadrunner" and not a more handsome 1971 or 1972 with its loop front bumper. I'm a 'Cuda guy myself but I can tell you that these larger B body MOPARS are better riding and handling cars.

The problem with restoring old cars is that it's all but impossible to get back what you've spent on them. It's almost always best to buy something restored rather than pay for restoring it yourself; just be careful not to over pay for someone else's hard work. I shudder to think what was spent on getting this car into better than original condition. For instance, a good engine rebuild alone would run you more than $3,000. And then you run the risk of running into a jerk like me who will take points off your resto job because under the hood it's not 110% factory correct. Regardless of whether or not a car is clone or not. Owner claims this engine is a 340 which is a bonus. The 340, which was a performance engine, was not offered on 1973 Satellite's.  

 

Despite the Autozone tach, there's nothing like a nice old car with an interior that looks as though it's factory fresh. Again, bucks were spent getting this interior up to snuff. If god and or the devil is in the details, it's the details that can sink a car's value no matter how nice the restoration. Check out the horizontal speedometer; on a Roadrunner? Roadrunners came with round gauges - this dash is all Satellite. Trust me. These things matter. Especially if the seller is asking all the money in the world for their car like this guy is. Clones are fine but don't charge "real money" for one. That steering wheel screams 1968 Barracuda too. It's nice, but not period or $19,000 asking price correct.

 

I'd be curious to see if this person is able to sell this car and get anywhere near the money they're asking for it. Then again, they might just have it up for sale to see what kind of nibbles they get. Y'know, we are getting to that time of year when people start to dump their old cars rather than pay for storage; maybe you can get it for a song. Good luck.  

 

The Plymouth Roadrunner started out in 1968 as part of a five model lineup in Plymouth's mid size line. Available originally only as a Satellite based two door sedan, with it's large and powerful standard engine and being  bereft of luxury accoutrements, it was intended to appeal to buyers who wanted the performance of a much more expensive Pontiac GTO without the bells and whistles. When Chrysler redesigned their mid size cars for 1971, all their two door mid size cars shared this unique (and quite handsome) body that was all but indistinguishable from the four door cars.

 

 

 

Chevrolet HHR - What the Hell, GM?

Amazing how my mind plays tricks on me. I could have sworn I had blogged already about a one of these but turns out I had only made reference to them in my blog about a Toyota FJ Cruiser.  Well, by golly, a vehicle this goofy looking deserves it's own blog entry so let's have it. Today we take a look at, in my opinion, a vehicle worse looking than Chrysler's "PT Cruiser". That's saying a lot considering how gawd awful the damn PT Cruiser was. Ladies and gentleman this is a Chevrolet HHR or Chevrolet "Heritage High Roof". Would a Chevy Cobalt wagon by any other name be as ridiculous? 

Introduced back in 2006, I know, you thought it was before that, who knows for sure if the suits at GM were gunning for the same buyer that would look at a PT. The auto industry, much like the music industry, is funny like that. You assume one thing and in you could be completely wrong. Although there were five model years between the launch of the PT and this thing, there stood a chance that Chrysler got wind that GM was doing a little retro car based trucklet and rushed something into production to get there first. Not that it matters but in the context of the time period that the two could have been sold next to each other in a gently used "previously owned" lot, the connection was invariably there. Ten years or more removed and that association wanes. 

Then again the story goes that the iconoclastic Bob Lutz locked the engineering team behind the Chevrolet Cobalt and Pontiac G5 in a room for a week and ordered them to brainstorm ideas to improve upon what they originally came up with. Amongst the soundproofing and space-age bushings they came up with, they also came up with this thing that was allegedly inspired by a 1949 Chevrolet Suburban panel truck. Hmmm, kay. If you guys say so. If they said it was inspired by a "2001 Chrysler PT Cruiser" I wouldn't be so incredulous. 

Despite similarities outwardly and underneath, both the PT and HHR were car-based, you'd never know it by looking at it but the HHR was a significantly larger than the PT. While its wheelbase is only a half inch longer, the HHR is almost seven and half inches longer. It's also wider and taller. However, despite the extra bulk, somehow the HHR has one cubic foot of cargo space less than the PT. The hell, GM? 

And, sorry, these things only make sense as adorable utility vehicles. Shoot, if I was a plumber or an electrician, an HHR panel van, that would be one of these without windows, would be my vehicle of choice rather than some scary looking mano y mano full-size truck or van. A tradesman who's non-threatening to women is a tradesman who's going to get a lot more phone calls. 

Remarkably, the HHR made it through GM's 2008-2009 reorganization and kept on truckin' all the way to the end of the 2011 model year. The Chrysler PT Cruiser met the crusher after 2010. Bob Lutz, whom I think I have great respect for although I shudder to think what it must have been like to work with him or for, while still with us here in the land of the living, did not survive GM's great purge. 

1968 Pontiac GTO - Fine Line

My wife and I have recently gotten into antique hunting and I've come to the conclusion that there's a fine line between what is an "antique" and what is, in reality, little more than junk. Our sad hulk here case in point; with an asking price of $2,900 someone thinks this is one hell of an antique. You almost can't blame them seeing that it's what's left of a once proud Motor Trend Car of the Year from 1968, a Pontiac GTO. Bring a trailer and get ready to drop in an engine. And a whole lot more.

Authenticity is everything in the collector car world and the "242" right there validates the seller's claim that this was, when it was born at least, a god's green earth, rubber nosed, GTO. Without this VIN prefix I highly doubt that this car would still be in one piece. Such as it is.

Who knows why this wreck is in the shape that it's in. Looks like it's been sitting for a long time. in blazing hot, fairly humid Texarkana Arkansas. Now, most if not all of the parts of this interior are available on line but it's going to cost you. I'd budget at least $3,000 for the interior resto. Don't forget the $2900 you spent on this antique in the first place and you can begin to see how this will add up. Quickly.  

Spend a good $100 or so on good brushes to scrub away the years of grime. Bet this interior smells like granny's basement too months after the water heater busted open. Take everything out and scrub, scrub, scrub away. Better yet, get a power washer.

That is, if the floor pan can withstand it. This here is what concerns me the most about this car. She's a Texas car so you'd think she'd be somewhat immune to rust but we are talking about a 50 year old GM product here; rust gets 'em all regardless of location. This floor pan has to go and good luck finding a reputable metal shop that will weld in new floor pans for you without raking you over the coals. They're out there but boy are you going to pay. I estimate $2,000 to fix that. I'm at almost $8,000 and counting. 

Oh, great. Trunk floor is rotted out too. You might be looking at closer to $3,000 if not $4,000 seeing that you might want to have all of the floor pans redone. When restoring an old car, just like an old house, always best to estimate higher. Set aside $5,000 for the floor pan project. I'm at $11,000 so far and we haven't even talked powertrain or body work yet. 

There were no pictures of under the hood and that's telling - what don't they want us to see? Obviously, there's no engine seeing how high up the front end is and that right front tire being cocked at an odd angle tells me there's front end work to be done. Let's assume there's no engine or transmission. We going with an LS swap or crate engine? We're looking at $6,000. At least. Ka-ching. We're pushing twenty large. A really good paint job could run you another 10. 

So, all in, to be on the high side you're looking at around $40,000 into this car. And then what do you have? A non-numbers matching "GTO" mutt of sorts that few collectors will be interested in since aside from perhaps looking real nice, it would have about as much cache as a clone - that's a non GTO that's dressed up to look like one. Those cars are increasingly popular as the real mccoys are getting harder and harder to find but they are what they are. And they certainly don't go for the kind of money that it would take to make investing in this car worthwhile. 

Which takes us all the way back to the beginning and the fine line between what is an antique and what is junk. Sorry. This is just junk. 

1977 Chrysler Cordoba - Two Birds With One Stone

I'm probably the only man on earth who would seriously consider trading in a Chevrolet Corvette for a Chrysler Cordoba.

I stumbled upon our 1977 black beauty here the other day during yet another "cheap car" search on cars. com. The search this time was to find a replacement for my aging and increasingly problematic 2002 Monte Carlo; with my  price ceiling of $10,000 the pickings are dishearteningly slim. No, dear, I am not driving a 2015 Kia Forte. I sort on "oldest" after I get bored and things always get more interesting.

 

 

At $6,000 the asking price is relatively steep for this example of the only bastion of success during the 1970s Chrysler had but she looks to be as perfect as she gets.

 

 

So perfect in fact, and pictures can be deceiving, that it occurred to me that I might have a hard time keeping her in the immaculate shape that she's in right now. Am I worthy of such a nice car? Yes. This is Corinthian leather.

 

 

However, if a car looks this good in pictures taken by someone who clearly doesn't have a photographer's eye let alone having a clue as to what lighting is all about, she might be as good as she looks. If this was a Chevrolet Monte Carlo or Pontiac Grand Prix of the same vintage the asking price would surely be double. Especially as fully loaded as this lady is.

 

 

Introduced for model year 1975, the Chrysler Cordoba was the very rare "right place, right time" automobile for Chrysler. With the personal luxury car boom in full bloom, Chrysler hit the jackpot with a combination of styling, value and marketing. The Cordoba, incidentally, was intended at first to be a Plymouth and go tail light to taillight with the Chevrolet Monte Carlo. At the last moment it was moved up market to Chrysler.

 

 

Spurred by commercials featuring the impossibly cool Ricardo Montalban, who was a relative unknown in late 1974 when the first commercials were filmed, 1975 Chrysler Cordoba sales were so good that they accounted for nearly 60 % of all Chrysler's sold that year. Sales of 1976 Cordoba's were still good although they weren't as good as 1975's. By 1977 sales began to taper off. Blame Chevrolet for announcing that 1977 was the last year for the "big Monte Carlo" as Monte Carlo sales went through the roof. Those numbers had to come out of somewhere.

 

 

Fans of the model will tell you that Chrysler mucked it up with their 1978 restyle although it was for all intents and purposes the same car as what came before it. While most casual observers probably couldn't tell the difference between a 1977 and 1978 Cordoba, numbers don't lie; sales really dropped off for the updated Cordoba's. Could Chrysler have wooed disenfranchised "small Monte Carlo" buyers had they not futzed with the Cordoba for 1978? After all, the Cordoba's styling was nothing if not derivative although, subjective as it is, the 1975-1977 Cordoba was a better looking 1973-1977 Monte Carlo than the Monte was.

 

 

No, I wouldn't want this as a daily driver but as a replacement for another one of my old Chevy's, that being my Chevrolet Corvette this might/would/could fit the bill quite nicely. Negotiate the price of this down and then ask for at least $5,000 for the Corvette and I could, in theory, kill two birds with one stone. I'll mop up my 20 year old son's heart break later. After all, he's not the one who's looking at spending winter months on his back in the garage attempting to prop up the old plastic beast.

 

 

I'd be rid of that albatross that is my Corvette and I'd have an old car that I really love and is very special to me. Again, I have to be the only person that would trade a Corvette for a Cordoba. 

 



 

1958 Chevrolet Impala - Keeping The Faith

 

There's rumor and speculation out there that the current Chevrolet Impala, a most excellent but not very attractive automobile and certainly not compelling enough to sway the current away from cross overs, will be the last Impala. Unless, of course, in the coming years Chevrolet festoons "Impala" on a cross over, we'll probably never see the nameplate again. Never say never. Anyway, if what we have now is the last Impala, what was the first Impala? Low and behold we have one for you today resplendent in "never garaged" patina.

 

 

The 1958 Chevrolet Impala rode on GM's new X frame full size chassis design that Cadillac had debuted the year before. The new chassis allowed designers to set the body of the car lower on the frame because with it's literal "X" design, the body was not impeded by frame rails running up and down the sides of the frame. Being unencumbered by side rails, designers had a huge blank canvas upon which they did what would appear to be anything their hearts desired.

 

 

Prior to the "X" frame, GM cars rode on a "ladder frame". With the "X" frame above, there were no side rails on the frame like we'd find on a ladder frame. My red arrows highlight reinforcing rails on the body of the car. Despite what would appear to be an automobile of significant girth, imagine how this car would fare in a side impact collision.

 

 

Or any impact for that matter. The GM "X" frame was made famous once again back in 2009 when it was crashed into a Chevrolet Malibu. While this exercise was done to showcase how safe modern cars were, it also pointed out just how deadly cars were back in the day. The 1959 "X frame" Impala was destroyed. Relax. It was a '59 Impala sedan. No one cared. I mean, no one cared about the car. I think all of us were aghast at just how flimsy a car that '59 Impala was. Chevrolet used the "X frame" through 1964. Drive carefully if you've got one.

 

 

Sorry. I didn't start out this blog with the intention of getting on a high horse about the advancement of vehicle safety over the years. Trist me, I'm not that guy. However, it is worth noting that before the advent of "safety", vehicle design ruled the roost. Many things we take for granted for today, for instance,  seat belts, weren't even an option on cars in the '50's let alone on our Impala here.

  

 

Although this big old bear will collapse like an empty refrigerator box in a crash and no doubt is singularly responsible for burning a hole in the ozone, she still is a fine looking automobile no matter what shape her sheet metal is in. Her interior too. Good lord. When people say that today's Impala is "not worthy" of the nameplate, chances are when they think of Impala's they deem worth of the nameplate they're thinking of "X frame" Impala's like our '58 here. Just keep in mind that the good old days weren't always good. Or safe.

 

 

1985 Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS - Damn, I'm Old

Our twenty-year-old son has made it very clear to me that if I ever get rid of our 1977 Chevrolet Corvette he will lock me up in a shitty nursing home when the time comes that I need assistance wiping my ass. That threat doesn't stop me from shopping the old bomb around as trade in bait. My latest dalliance is 1985 Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS. With an asking price of about $7,500 and allegedly in mint condition, me having come of age in the '80's and always being a fan of these cars, you can't blame me for being smitten by it. Thing is, "The Boss", in this case my son, will have nothing to do with this car. And it's not out of love for the Corvette as much as he just doesn't like this car. I know. The hell is the matter with this kid. 

Which is really telling since 90% of "old cars" that I like he likes as well. If not loves. What doesn't he see in this car that I see? By the way, I have a hard time coming to grips with the fact that a 1985 automobile is an "old car" but, holy shit, 1985 was 32 years ago. Damn. I'm old. 

Now, this isn't a b.s. 1973-1977 wanna be 1978-1980 Monte either with its silly little swoopy fender bulges. Who the hell at GM thought those cars a good idea? Those little shitters were the worst things Chevrolet came up with in the 70's. Yes. Worse than the Vega and the Monza. At least the 1981 update got the "little Monte" back to where you could arguably say they were based on a 1970 Monte Carlo design wise. 

Based on a 1970 Monte Carlo or not, Chevrolet did a wonderful job cleaning up the lines of the Monte Carlo for 1981 and for 1983, made a "high output" version of the Chevrolet 305 cubic inch V-8 standard on "SS" models; the first Monte SS since 1971. Sharing the then current Camaro Z28's aluminum intake manifold and the camshaft from the old L-81 Corvette 350 engine from 1981, the 305 HO in the Monte Carlo SS made between 175 and 180 horsepower. While a far cry from an LS6 454 from 1970, it was an improvement over just about anything else you'd find under the hood of a Monte Carlo at the time. What's more, for 1985, Chevrolet added the 200 R4 four speed automatic to the Monte Carlo along with a very aggressive (for any time period), 3:73:1 axle. Along with a performance tuned F41 suspension package and the 1983-1988 Monte Carlo SS just may have been the best balanced muscle car ever made.

All of which makes no difference to my son who, again, is only 20 years old and is able to view this car and those similar to it in a vaccum without any context to draw upon. "Back in the day", this car was a far cry from the tire shredding monsters that it inspired it. Amazing that he's able to look at this car and be as indifferent towards it as he is. Says a lot about not only this car but how special the cars he holds near and dear, like our Corvette, actually are. 

To me this car is everything but to him it's just another one of those "old cars that only dad" likes. Damn I'm old. 

This car is for sale in Medina, Ohio. Odometer reads 17,000 miles but the lot can not verify how much mileage is on it but based on its condition over all, they say it probably has no more than 117,000 mile on it. Here's the listing if you're interested. https://www.carstory.com/detail/1985-chevrolet-monte_carlo-medina_oh-1G1GZ37G4FR119787

1974 Chevrolet Monte Carlo 454 - IM SMILN

Unless you remember it first hand, it's all but impossible to imagine how bad the OPEC embargo of October 1973 was. The effects of it were immediate. Literally overnight the cost of a barrel of crude quadrupled and the cost of a gallon of gas nearly doubled. Sales of gas guzzling cars dried up and with the gas shortages that accompanied the price increases, people changed their lifestyles in ways that hadn't been seen in this country since World War II. My children of the depression parents, who took everything to the extreme, kept our house as dark and cold as a dungeon during that very long winter of 1974 because we had to save "N-R-G". Crazy times. One good thing about the energy crisis was that it spurred a little diddy by the Newark Boys Chorus that no one, save for me, remembers.



Makes us wonder if the original buyer of this lovely red on red, 1974 Chevrolet Monte Carlo with the oh-so-rare 454 V-8 option bought it before or after the embargo and if they regretted buying it since it probably couldn't go more than 200 miles between fill ups. The base 350 engine with its teeny tiny two barrel carburetor would have a hard time with that distance too. Maybe they got it for a song since cars like this sat on new car lots for weeks if not months with dealers desperate to get rid of them to make room for 20 mile per gallon Vega's.

It's not like people didn't know that their cars sucked on gas before the energy crisis; it almost didn't matter seeing that gas before the crisis was like 29 cents a gallon. Even before the gas crunch, auto manufacturers were moving away from marketing performance, or the pretense of performance, to focusing more on creature comforts because insurance surcharges on anything construed as a performance car left said "muscle cars" languishing on dealer lots.. Therefore, the 454 was a curious option available on the nadir of the personal luxury car of the 1970's. Originally part of an "SS" package on 1970 and 1971 Monte Carlos, by 1972, again with insurance surcharges and all, the SS nomenclature was gone,. The engine, however, remained an option through 1975. Although, seeing that the beast had been detuned down to 235 horsepower for 1974 and 215 for '75, it didn't make much sense as a performance option. To pull a boat or trailer? Maybe. But as a go-faster option not so much. 



Regardless of what engine the 1973-1977 Monte Carlo had, what made them sell so well was was their styling. The big swoopy fenders were said to emulate the classic cars of the 1920's and '30's but that probably mattered little to the bourgeois; they just loved 'em. Honestly, though, I preferred the conventionally styled Malibu coupe this is based on but I've come to appreciate these as icons of a bygone era; much in the same way I appreciate the styling of our wretched 1977 Corvette. And somehow a set of fat tires and Chevrolet Rally wheels works on these cars too. Note the lack of a vinyl roof. Nice.

You'd think, though, that an automobile as large as this on the outside would have the interior capacity of a small motor home but that was never the case with cars back then. Big on the outside, cramped on the inside. Actually, when GM downsized in the late '70's, many of their larger cars gained some interior space. Sadly, when they downsized their intermediate of mid size cars, that was not the case.

Wonder how many times the original owner of this car stressed that they'd run out of gas waiting in line for gas? Hopefully they found some solace in this handsome interior. These are the famous "swivel buckets" that would "swivel" out for easier ingress and egress. Ridiculous, of course, but it made more sense than Ford's tilt-a-way steering column of the 60's. Other GM A body coupes featured these seats as well. Note the window crank, tilt wheel and console. Along with the 454 engine and lack of a vinyl roof, this is one oddly optioned car. Then again, power windows weren't as prevalent on cars as they are today but this is another example of how it's all but impossible to find two cars of this vintage optioned the same way. That shifter in park looks like it's in another county compared to the driver's seat back, doesn't it?

There are very few if any cars made after 1973 that have any real value on the classic car market today and the reasons for that are as clear as mud. Some say it's because of the drop in engine compression after 1970 while others blame safety bumpers. Others blame emissions controls and whatever. In any event, it is what it is. Cars made after 1973 have less value and that's why you need to be careful not to over pay for anything from what is called "The Malaise Era" - generally speaking  that's any car made between 1974 and 1982.

But if you're going to make the plunge and buy one, you'd be hard pressed to do any better than a 1974 Chevrolet Monte Carlo with the 454. Maybe they'll even throw in the vanity plates.