1985 Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS - Damn, I'm Old

Our twenty-year-old son has made it very clear to me that if I ever get rid of our 1977 Chevrolet Corvette he will lock me up in a shitty nursing home when the time comes that I need assistance wiping my ass. That threat doesn't stop me from shopping the old bomb around as trade in bait. My latest dalliance is 1985 Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS. With an asking price of about $7,500 and allegedly in mint condition, me having come of age in the '80's and always being a fan of these cars, you can't blame me for being smitten by it. Thing is, "The Boss", in this case my son, will have nothing to do with this car. And it's not out of love for the Corvette as much as he just doesn't like this car. I know. The hell is the matter with this kid. 

Which is really telling since 90% of "old cars" that I like he likes as well. If not loves. What doesn't he see in this car that I see? By the way, I have a hard time coming to grips with the fact that a 1985 automobile is an "old car" but, holy shit, 1985 was 32 years ago. Damn. I'm old. 

Now, this isn't a b.s. 1973-1977 wanna be 1978-1980 Monte either with its silly little swoopy fender bulges. Who the hell at GM thought those cars a good idea? Those little shitters were the worst things Chevrolet came up with in the 70's. Yes. Worse than the Vega and the Monza. At least the 1981 update got the "little Monte" back to where you could arguably say they were based on a 1970 Monte Carlo design wise. 

Based on a 1970 Monte Carlo or not, Chevrolet did a wonderful job cleaning up the lines of the Monte Carlo for 1981 and for 1983, made a "high output" version of the Chevrolet 305 cubic inch V-8 standard on "SS" models; the first Monte SS since 1971. Sharing the then current Camaro Z28's aluminum intake manifold and the camshaft from the old L-81 Corvette 350 engine from 1981, the 305 HO in the Monte Carlo SS made between 175 and 180 horsepower. While a far cry from an LS6 454 from 1970, it was an improvement over just about anything else you'd find under the hood of a Monte Carlo at the time. What's more, for 1985, Chevrolet added the 200 R4 four speed automatic to the Monte Carlo along with a very aggressive (for any time period), 3:73:1 axle. Along with a performance tuned F41 suspension package and the 1983-1988 Monte Carlo SS just may have been the best balanced muscle car ever made.

All of which makes no difference to my son who, again, is only 20 years old and is able to view this car and those similar to it in a vaccum without any context to draw upon. "Back in the day", this car was a far cry from the tire shredding monsters that it inspired it. Amazing that he's able to look at this car and be as indifferent towards it as he is. Says a lot about not only this car but how special the cars he holds near and dear, like our Corvette, actually are. 

To me this car is everything but to him it's just another one of those "old cars that only dad" likes. Damn I'm old. 

This car is for sale in Medina, Ohio. Odometer reads 17,000 miles but the lot can not verify how much mileage is on it but based on its condition over all, they say it probably has no more than 117,000 mile on it. Here's the listing if you're interested. https://www.carstory.com/detail/1985-chevrolet-monte_carlo-medina_oh-1G1GZ37G4FR119787