Sunday, November 12, 2017

1979 Pontiac Parisienne - Royale With Cheese



Just like the little differences in Europe, it's the little differences north of the border that are different from down here. For instance, in Canada they use the metric system and they have two "official" languages, English and French. The fact that French is spoken up there the reason why Buick calls their Lacrosse "Allure" in Canada. "Lacrosse", apparently, is a French-Canadian slang term for masturbation. Take note, Louis C.K. And just like Canadian football, the GM of Canada built Pontiac Parisienne sure looked like a Pontiac Bonneville but it's not.
 
 
 
The Pontiac Parisienne might be a familiar nameplate to those who recall the 1983-1986 Parisienne that was sold "down here". However, Pontiac of Canada, which was part of GM of Canada which in and of itself is an independent subsidiary of General Motors, built a Parisienne for nearly thirty years before putting the nameplate to pasture after 1986. Finding a 1979 Parisienne for sale down here might be because of the proximity of northern Ohio to Canada. For certain, I've never seen one of these before in any other part of the country. Again, those that don't know how unique this car is might just think it's a rebadged Bonneville like the Buick Lacrosse is badged Allure in Canada. In reality, though, it's not.
 
 
The Pontiac Parisienne was a Pontiac of Canada full size car that used Chevrolet running gear.  No doubt this car has an interesting past as it was never sold new in this country and knowing what I know about registering foreign cars in this country, there's a ton of paperwork that goes along with this car as well. Much like opening once sealed documents, it doesn't matter much now but on cars less than twenty five years old, it's easier for a Canadian to become a U.S. citizen than it is to "federalize" an automobile.
 
 
The federalizing of this car might help to explain why it has only 17,000 miles on it. That process can take forever and if this car was sold to someone down here who couldn't get it registered, it probably sat for years. Odometers years ago topped out a 99,999 so usually a claim of "only" so many miles on a car this old would be met with raised eyebrows however, judging by the overall shape of this thing, that boast would appear to be true. Check out this dreadful dash layout. No, this is not a Pontiac of Canada thing either - all 1977-1981 Pontiac B bodies, domestic and foreign built, had dashes laid out this way. When Pontiac started selling Parisienne's down here in 1983, thankfully, this dashboard was redesigned.
 
 
While General Motors did disclose that some of the parts of their cars where made by other GM divisions, they did so subtly after getting nailed for not doing so at all, Pontiac of Canada never made any bones about the fact that their cars were powered by engines built by Chevrolet. Eagle eyed engine spotters will point out that below that rats nest of hoses and wires lies a Chevrolet 305 and not the Pontiac 350 that you'd find under the hood of a similar Bonneville sold down here. A Chevrolet 305 with a two barrel making 130 horsepower.
 
 
The long, not so sordid tale of why this car is what it is, would make more obvious sense if this car was built in a foreign country that wasn't contiguous to the "Lower 48". The reality, again, is that GM of Canada is for all intents and purposes is a separate company from "GM of America". In the restaurant business, GM of Canada would be a franchisee that was allowed to do things differently than the parent company. GM of Canada bought parts from General Motors and assembled them as they literally saw fit. They bought Chevrolet's because they were less expensive than Pontiac's but festooned said Chevrolet's with Pontiac baubles and bits.
 
 
To make matters somewhat more confusing, from 1983-1986, down here, Pontiac sold the Canadian built, Chevrolet parts bin sourced Parisienne. They did so because, allegedly, after Pontiac discontinued their full size Bonneville and Catalina after 1981, the Pontiac dealership network protested that they didn't have a full size car to sell. With the Pontiac plant that built Bonnevilles and Catalina's already repurposed, Pontiac bought Parisiennes from Pontiac of Canada and sold them down here. They didn't bother rebadging them as Bonnevilles because starting in 1982, Pontiac starting labeling their mid size sedans as Bonnevilles.
 
 
If you're getting the same feeling that we've gotten that GM was making product planning decisions  in the huddle, I don't think we're far off the mark. By the way, our lovely Canadian Pontiac here is for sale about an hour or so south of bucolic downtown Cleveland Ohio for a nearly $8,000. American. Wow. That could buy a lot of hockey pucks. If you're interested, here's the listing. Split a Royale with Cheese with you if you're interested too.

 


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