2003 Mercedes Benz SL500 - Her Sweet Siren Charms

 

I don't think I want to know anyone who would be immune to the allure and the charms of a Mercedes-Benz' SL. An automobile in any of its various iterations that has a mystique, in my humble opinion, far more magnetic than just about anything this side of a Ferrari or Lamborghini. Corvette? Please. Even the "C8" is a boy racer in comparison even to an aging lion like this 2003 SL500 although it is a far superior automobile.

Mercedes-Benz doesn't change their preeminent two-passenger sports car with "planned obsolescence" in mind. Since the legendary gullwing SL300 of 1954 debuted they've only rebooted it seven times with each new model a seismic improvement over the watershed model it replaced. The 2003 SL was Mercedes-Benz' first new SL since the game-changing 1989 model and was a remarkable advancement in terms of engineering and after more than a decade of cold, austere block-like designs across their entire range, aesthetics.

So, forgive my wife and I for whimsically dreaming about purchasing this 2003 SL500 that's for sale near my office in bucolic Youngstown, Ohio with an asking price a, ahem, mere thirteen-thousand five hundred dollars. Keep in mind that this stickered for nearly ninety-grand when new. Holy depreciation, Batman.

If you seriously consider thirteen-five "mere" money then you are truly fortunate especially seeing that this seventeen year old car is rapidly going on being eighteen. Although it has only sixty-five thousand on her majestic Teutonic heart and later examples of the same car are listing for twice the asking price, this could be a good deal. Could. Be. The asking price is still high enough to make diving into it a bad idea if anything were to go wrong with it. And with any old car not to mention an old Mercedes, there's plenty that can go wrong. This car not unlike buying a cheap fixer-upper in Youngstown; cost of repairs could easily exceed the cost of the house itself.

Even doing the work myself would get expensive. For instance, an Arnot Industries remanufactured body control strut runs seven-hundred and fifty bucks at Autozone. Yes, at Autozone! Of course these are special electro-mechanical struts with some sort of space-age magnetic hydraulic fluid that plug into a central computer all in the interest of making the driver better but really are there to semi-automate the driving experience. And, again, seeing how old this car is now, what happens to all that gee-whiz stuff when it starts to get old? Well, it needs to be replaced and, again, many replacement parts are very, veddy expensive.

This car has an available four year warranty too but those can get really pricey and I've been burned by them in the past. They're usually not backed by the manufacturer which means you're at the whim of the insurance company to cover the costs of repairs. And they're not in the business of paying for anything and everything customers bring in for service either. One time the company I bought an extended warranty from went belly-up too. Thanks, but no thanks. Word to the wise, avoid after market extended warranties. If you get a warranty on a used car best bet is to make sure it's factory backed.

From a seat of the pants perspective, the numbers on this car aren't that impressive either by today's standards. Forty-four hundred pounds hauled around by only a five liter V-8 with a piddling three-hundred and two horsepower V-8. Don't get me wrong, back in the day those were mouth wateringly exotic numbers but in an age now where speed is a commodity zero to sixty in six point one seconds just ain't gonna do it. Gas mileage is SUV terrible too and you have to consider the hassle of putting up with a car that carries just two-passengers and has very little trunk space when the oh-so-sexy clamshell top is retracted. There's not much room there when the top is up too. By the way, none of the pictures in the ad for it had the top down. What's up (or not down) with that?

And what's with the AMG badges? 2003 SL500's that were AMG's were actually SL550's and came with a heavy breathing turbo boosting horsepower to four-hundred and sixty-nine and torque swelled to five-hundred and sixteen foot pounds. They also had "V8COMPRESSOR" badges above the gills on the front fenders, could go zero to sixty in four point six seconds (that's more like it) and top out of two-hundred and eight miles per hour. THIS here ain't no AMG, she's a poser. Which on some level is sexy in and of itself. A saucy girl who pretends to be something she's not? You kidding me? Let's go!

Still, the other day I couldn't resist her sweet siren charms and I went to take a look at her in the flesh. Or sheet metal. There she sat seeming a whole lot less sexy and glamorous in the pot-holed lot of the dealership on a muggy, rainy afternoon in god-forsaken Youngstown, Ohio. Reminded me of meeting aging rock stars back in the day - sort of wrinkly, overtly flawed and...ordinary. A scratch or two here and there. She looked all of her seventeen-years rather than the economically prudent perfection we see under the  florescent light-bulb lit studio photos in the on-line ads. And the first thing I noticed was the driver's door window was closed on top of the weather stripping instead of being inside it. Damn me for not photographing that. Certainly not the most expensive thing to fix on a Mercedes, not the least expensive either, but seeing our date started out on that foot I pulled my mask off immediately and all but jogged back to my car and drove off before any sales person had a chance to  come and talk to me.

A check of the available online Carfax revealed that two of her four owners had been involved in accidents bad enough that they appeared on the report. The Carfax "Car Fox" mascot recommending that whom ever buys the car have it inspected by an auto body expert. I'll say.