1968 Chevrolet Impala - Shut Up and Take My Money

A family on the block I grew up on back on Long Island had a gold one of these 1968 Impala Sport Coupes. I thought its oh-so-bulky, form-over-function, over-the-top styling cool as all hell. Especially compared to the rental-grade Ford station wagon my father had. Of all the now "classic" cars I literally grew up with, that big old gold Chevy was the one I probably ogled the most. 

Poster of this ad is apparently confused or mistaken as to what they're attempting sell. Not that it really matters but if god's in the details, this is an Impala Sports Coupe, not a Custom Coupe "Fastback". It's as if they're threatening perspective buyers too. "Buy now! Or else!" Please! Take my money!

I love on these Sport Coupes how the trunk lid and rear fenders flow into the bumper. And who doesn't love taillights in the bumper.  Pointless, fabulous and highly impractical. Does it get any better? Impala Custom Coupes of this vintage were the semi-formal, notch back coupes.

Chevrolet offered these cars in various models that were essentially trim packages. If you wanted all the fluffy glitz of a Cadillac at a discount, you could order a Caprice. If an Impala was too rich for you, order down and pick up a Bel Air. For real bargain hunters, there was the Biscayne. The Bel Air coupe was available in hardtop or pillard'd, Biscayne two-door models came only as "pillar'd" coupes. Yuck. However, the fastback styling was only available on the Impala.  It's definitely a look that not for everyone. Ford tried this as well in the mid-to-late-sixties with a varying degree of success or failure depending on your point of view. Most know how clumsy 1966 and 1967 Dodge Chargers are. 

Poster of the ad claims the seats are new. But not only are the front seats a different color from the rear...

The upholstery pattern is different too. Saving grace, at least the seats are period correct. Judging from what I can make out from that rear inside panel and what can be made out of the steering wheel in the photo above this one, seems this car came with the light green interior originally. Someone's got some 'splainin' to do. 

Poster claims this is the car's original Chevrolet 327 cubic inch V-8 but what's with the headers? Original Powerglide comes with the package as well. This is a fifty-five-year-old car - who knows how many owners it's had and how many shade tree hacks (like me) have their greasy, grimy fingerprints all over it. 

Lots to unpack here. That person's not going to me, of course. Well, if I could get this for like $2,500, maybe. More like closer to a $1,000. Even at $500 the wife would kill me. I know getting this for as little money as I would deem worthy is unreasonable but considering this needs perhaps $25,000 to make it presentable, I don't want to the starting point to put me in the red either. Bombers like this when I was in high school in the early '80's were $500 cars; when and how did they appreciate to the point where one now as an asking price of $11,500? 

And then what would you have if you bought this for eleven or twelve grand and then plowed twenty-five into it? A 1968 Impala Sports Coupe that might be worth, if you're lucky and this crazy Post-Covid-ish used car market stays as hot as it is, what you put into it. 

If you're into flipping cars, that's just a good, old fashioned waste of time.  Something tells me someone bought this to flip and came to the conclusion that it's just not worth it. In more ways than one. At least it appears fairly rust free. 

Shut up and take my money!