1976 Ford Mustang Cobra - Pick of the Litter

Those of us auto enthusiasts who grew up in the teeth of "The Malaise Era" have our pick of the litter (make that used kitty litter) when it comes to what cars epitomized that period of time when it seemed the Big Three couldn't do anything right. From the AMC Pacer to the Chevrolet Citation, Ford Granada to GM Diesels to the Cadillac Cimarron, there's no shortage of stinking turds that just wouldn't flush away. In my opinion, though, the epitome of them all was the Ford Pinto based  Mustang "II". I found this 1976 Mustang II Cobra on Facebook Marketplace recently and it brought back a lot of memories; none of them good. 

              

What with the folks across the street from my family and I where I grew up on Long Island having a 1965 Mustang "Hardtop" and a 1972 "Grande", I was fairly versed in "Ford Mustang" and when I heard that Ford was coming with a new Mustang for 1974 based on their Pinto, nine-year-old me instinctively knew it was not going to be good. And I was right;  the teeny-tiny Mustang II was no "Mustang" at least not in comparison to what I saw on a daily basis across the street from me. I doused my sorrows in Nestle's instant chocolate milk making it with whole milk - desperate times meant desperate measures. Little did I know at the time the homely little car was also a putrid transportation conveyance. 

The fact that the Mustang II was more than a foot shorter than the elephantine 1971-1973 Mustang wasn't the issue with its aesthetics - just because a car is small doesn't mean its design should suffer. However, the "II's" design did suffer along with driving dynamics that were decidedly non-European with Ford softening the Pinto's suspension and adding heavy sound proofing and insulation to cull the Pinto's raucous. Built on a slightly lengthened chassis the Ford Pinto was built on, it was almost two-inches wider than a 1964 Mustang meanwhile six-inches shorter lending to its stubby proportions. Stubby proportions accentuated by huge front and rear overhangs - proportionally, some of the largest in history to that point. 13-inch wheels only adding to the "bulked up Pinto" axiom which, again, the car actually was. 

Wouldn't you know it, though, timing being everything, Ford sold tons of "II's" for model year 1974. In fact, it became one of the best first model-year selling cars of all time just as the car it purportedly emulated did just a decade prior. What a difference ten years can make, though. Whereas the original Mustang was a seminal, niche creating design that transformed the market if not the auto industry, the 1974 Mustang II was but a benefactor of timing with the start of the OPEC oil embargo coinciding with the new model year. 

Ford sold nearly 386,000 "II's" in 1974, that number dropping by roughly half for 1975 as the embargo ended, fuel prices stabilized and buyers came to their senses. A decade prior, after the initial fervor, Mustang sales remained strong as a, err, horse. "II" sales hovering around 175,000 a year through the end of production in 1978. Granted, that number is nothing to sneeze at but pales in comparison to the 600,000+ sold in 1966 and the million-plus out the door in the Mustang's protracted first model-year. Ford is lucky to sell 100,000 Mustangs a year these days. 

Revisionist history being what it is, Ford didn't introduce the Mustang II in response to the OPEC embargo, planning for it began as far back as 1971 when Ford realized they had a turkey on their hands with their new-for'71, "big" Mustang. In fairness, give Ford product planners some credit for deciding to downsize in a day and age of relentless upsizing. Then again, with sales shrinking, what choice did they have? Make it even bigger? Then again, the did upsize the Mercury version of the Mustang up and out of the pony car segment starting in 1974. Ah, my wonder years. How they sucked. 

The only thing "Mustang" about a "II" was Ford's use of disparate Mustang styling cues their designers had used on Mustangs for the previous decade. The Ford Mustang II was a hodge-podge of ideas, themes and eras with one, sorry, hoof, stuck in the 1960's, another, (don't say it) glued in the 1970's. Us Mustang cognoscenti could only hope for better days to come and they eventually did, sort of, come 1979 with the introduction of the Fox-body Mustangs. Shows you just how desperate we must have been if the trucky, boxy Fox-body Mustang was construed as the second coming of the original. It wasn't, of course, but it was a marked improvement and wasn't a design evolution of the "II". 

1976 Ford Mustang - It's Not Bad at All, Really

Most Ford Mustang cognoscenti want nothing to do with 1974-1978 Mustang's, the Pinto-based "II's" that the "II" haters claim either "wasn't a real Mustang" or all but eradicated a decade of seminal pony car pioneering up to that time. This is a 1976 "II" for sale up in, appropriately, Dearborn, Michigan with a $3,700 asking price. No vinyl top, notchback, alloys and a "Cologne" 2.8-liter V-6 - aside from a rather high asking price for any mid-'70's car that needs a fair amount of work, is this really such a bad car? 

In a vacuum, I don't think so especially compared to other Ford designs of the 1970's. This car may be festooned with Mustang badging, but squint or blur your eyes for a second or two to see a strong, familial resemblance to the Ford Gran Torino\Mercury Cougar or dare I say Thunderbird of the vintage. Then again, depending on your point opinion, that might not be such a good thing either although I do find at least some dash and elan to the fish-mouthed 1972 Torino's. 

Squint again and you may come to some to see what this car really is - a luxurious, longer-wheelbase version of the Ford Pinto. The Pinto association, as much as anything else, may explain the vitriol  Mustang fans have for the II's that were replaced by the Fox-body Mustang in 1979. Shoot, this ain't even a Maverick in disguise. 

It is somewhat amazing if not miraculous that Ford introduced this car as the Mustang II in 1974 given where the Mustang had been in the few short years since it's most successful launch in 1964. Based on the compact 1960 Falcon, Ford had sold more than a million Mustangs in an elongated first MY run between April of 1964 and the end of 1965. Tack on another 400,000 or so before a rebooted 1967 Mustang and you have one of the most successful vehicle launches in automobile history. Problem was, as was or is almost always the case, subsequent updates of the Mustang where all longer, wider and heavier and the fatter the Mustang got, the more sales declined. 

Coincidentally or not, the market had changed by 1967 and Ford needed to update the Mustang to keep pace with General Motors; competition something Ford didn't have to contend with until 1967. Technically, Chrysler had a competitor with their Plymouth Barracuda that was even introduced some two weeks prior to Ford's rolling out the Mustang in '64, but due either to it either being a lightly disguised Valiant, half-arsed marketing campaign or combination of both, it sold poorly. 

Much of the credit for the "II" goes to, all of all people, that big car loving Ford honcho, Lee Iacocca. Iacocca agreed whole-heartedly with critics of the 1971 Mustang that Ford's foal had gotten too big and ordered a smaller Mustang dimensionally akin to the '64 to be introduced for MY 1974. And rather than use the compact Maverick chassis, he insisted the Pinto's underpinnings be used; that in-and-of-itself not a bad thing given the Pinto's rack-and-pinion steering and light weight. However, Lido insisted what would become the Mustang II not have an available V-8 engine. That changed come 1975 but the dye was cast with Mustang Nation - the Mustang II was first and foremost an economy car.  

Timing being everything, just as Ford pulled the sheet off the Mustang II, the first gas crisis hit in the fall of 1973 and buyers flocked to the 20-MPG "little" Mustang. Ford sold more than 400,000 "II's" that first model year, best since 1967. Soon as the earth cooled and gas prizes stabilized, though, Mustang sales came tumbling down never reaching half of what they were during the dark days of the gas crisis. Meanwhile, sales of General Motors Camaro and Firebird recovered nicely although their replacements were sold along side them in Chevrolet and Pontiac showrooms. "Replacements" based on the Pinto's GM competitor, the Chevrolet Vega. Apparently, cooler heads or more passionate fans of the Camaro and Firebird were able to convince GM suits that gluing "Camaro" and "Firebird" on gussied up Vegas was not a good idea. 

Again, much like what Linus said of the Christmas tree Charlie Brown bought, "it's not bad at all, really". Perspective, then, is everything. Some see a car that almost killed off what has become an American automobile institution while others may see it for what it is - either a large Pinto or, dare I say, a smaller Thunderbird. Either way, it was one of the few bright spots for Ford in the 1970's and a Mustang that may have saved the, ahem, breed.