1981 Pontiac Turbo Trans Am - You Rather Have Been Smart or Good Looking?

A girl in my high school had a brand-new Turbo Trans Am just like this '81 in luscious dark red. Beautiful car. She was way out my league too. The fact she not only drove a brand-new car but a Turbo Trans Am made her "Hollywood" in my eyes. 

I thought her car fitting for her as it was as unapproachable as she was. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't as shallow as these cars were. "All show and no go" as they say. Or, "all fluff and no stuff". Didn't matter because they both looked so damn good. The world's at your beck and call when you're young and beautiful. Everything comes out in the wash, though. 

On the heels of a surge in popularity after "Smokey and The Bandit" shot Trans Am's to the pinnacle of the public's automotive awareness, to be in compliance with federal fuel economy and emissions regulations, Pontiac had to drop the big engines that powered the Bandit era T/A's. Rather than stuff T/A's with the Chevrolet 350-cubic inch V-8 that powered Camaro Z/28's and Corvette's, Pontiac bolted the same Garret turbocharger Buick used on their blown 231-cubic inch V-6 to their 301-cubic inch V-8. An underwhelming legend was born. 

It wasn't all bad. At maximum boost, the turbo 301 spooled up 210-horsepower and 345-foot pounds. Not bad. Actually, on paper, that's more torque than the Pontiac 400 that made Bo Darville's car go. For the record, all the T/A's in Smokey and The Bandit, the original not the farcical sequels, were 1976 T/A's with the front ends from 1977 models affixed to them. There are conflicting stories about what was under the hood of the six T/A's used in "Smokey". For 1976, the standard Trans Am engine was Pontiac's 400-cubic inch V-8 and their 455 was optional. For 1977-1979, if a Trans Am has "T/A 6.6" on the Shaker, it has a Pontiac 400. If it says "6.6 LITRE", yes, "LITRE", it has Oldsmobile's 403-cubic incher. 

Problem was, the boost got spent quickly and after the reserve was gone, the engine wind milled. Buick's much smaller V-6 wasn't any better of course and GM only figured out how to make those engines run right with the advent of port fuel injection. Pontiac had planned to further refine the turbo 301 but GM scuttled Pontiac's engine program negating them to only pushing out (4-cylinder) "Iron Dukes". Fun fact, there's a hood bulge on 1982 and 1983 T/A's that was to make room for the turbo 301. 

My time in "Bandit era" T/A's was less than enthralling, perhaps not unlike going on a date with that girl that had that dark red '81 in high school. I found the ride harsh, flinty and truck like. Squeaks, rattles and moans and groans galore. They did handle well, everything is relative, and of course the big engines made the cars fly. And they looked so good. Damn. 

Back in high school, would you rather have been good looking or smart? 

 

1987 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am - It Takes Guts to be Different

This 1987 Pontiac Firebird is the funkiest thing I've seen since I stumbled across that oh-so-goth twin-turbo, Ford V-10 powered Cadillac Fleetwood earlier this year. Oh, it may not look it, but this is one special homemade hot rod. 

And that there is why. Someone swapped out the Chevrolet LG4, 5.0-liter V-8 this was born with for a turbocharged, Buick 3.8-liter V-6. This engine most famous for powering 1985-1987 Buick Grand National's and the 1987-only, Buick GNX. Obvious too that this car was originally yellow; looks much better in black in my opine. Yours may vary, see dealer for details. 

If you're like, "why would anyone do that", well, you don't get this. In this day and age of all but ubiquitous "LS-swaps", something like this is quite refreshing. And with a Facebook Marketplace asking price of just $6,000, I may need to be restrained. It's down near Dayton which is a good three hour haul for me from up here in god-forsaken Cleveland, and I do have better things to do with my time than take a six-hour road trip for something I really have no intent on buying. I have close friends in that area I haven't seen in a while; would be nice to see them and kick the turbo on this thing. 

      

Pontiac Firebird and Trans Am cognoscenti know that this swap isn't that far out of the ordinary. Pontiac offered Buick's turbo V-6 on a limited run of 20th-anniversary Trans Am's for 1989. Albeit, one that was modified to be, ahem, "more reliable". John Davis and his Motorweek '89 team clocked it going from zero-to-sixty in 5.4-seconds and "melting the quarter mile" in 14.2. That's rather mundane if not ho-hum today, but back in 1989 that was seriously quick. 

Some Trans Am aficionado's claim the 20th-anniversary T/A with the Buick turbo V-6 could do zero-to-sixty in 4.6- and the quarter mile in 13.4-seconds. Whose ever numbers are correct, either way, the 20th-anniversary turbo T/A was faster in a straight line than a top-of-the-line Firebird GTA (Gran Turismo Americano) with a slightly detuned Chevrolet Corvette L98, 5.7-liter V-8; 6.5-seconds zero-to-sixty and 15-seconds in the quarter mile. It even smoked an L98 Corvette that could only muster 6.6-seconds zero-to-sixty and a 14.9-second quarter mile. 

Other Pontiac pundits will recall the "Turbo Trans Am" of 1980 and 1981 infamy. Pontiac eschewed the Buick V-6 that time around using the same Garret turbocharger Buick used to boost their 4.9-liter V-8. Fastest one of these could do zero-to-sixty was 9.0-seconds, quarter-mile in 17.2. Yikes, I know. Even Smokey and The Bandit II was a forgettable - that was the one with the elephants. Best I can say about "Smokey II" was it wasn't "Smokey III". The bulge on the hood was to clear the turbo.

My concern with this thing is what to do if something goes wrong on it - gosh, who would you take it to? I guess a speed shop might be able to, but the wonky engine might explain the relatively low asking price for this. I mean, it's hard enough these days to find a mechanic who can work on old cars let alone something like this. Still, I applaud the person or persons who dared to be different. That takes guts.