Sunday, January 1, 2017

Alfa Romeo Spider - Chuck, Where's My Bumper?


Shortly after I met the woman who would become my wife, her "sports car" loving father purchased a 1978 Alpha Romeo Spider. He couldn't have spent much on it knowing his shrewd ability to negotiate and the rough shape it was in. The gloss was gone from its finish, the leather buckets were very worn, the convertible top had holes in it and second gear was long, long gone. Suffice to say, "Dad's Alfa" was a far cry from the near pristine condition of our subject car, a 1985 Spider, "Graduate". It's white just like his was. 


Ironically, I found this car while on a stroll in my in-laws neighborhood in Jupiter, Florida while on Christmas break this week. I stumbled across it the first day we were there and didn't see it again for the rest of the week. No doubt my father-in-law would have wanted at least a test drive if not wanting to engage in a quick cash transaction for it. Sadly, he passed away in 2007.


The biggest blemish on Dad's Alfa's was a bad dent in the rear bumper just north west of the tailpipe. It looked as though someone, not he, he bought it that way, had backed the car into a stop sign or narrow pole at a fair clip. It was the only [glaring] blemish on the car he just could not tolerate. The rough patina on the finish? That added to the mystery of the Alpha and no one ever saw the holes in the canvas top since he always had it down. The worn interior gave the little old car, actually, when he bought it wasn't that old, a musky manliness too.. The blown out second gear? He dealt with it like a fighter pilot dealt with a shot out tail rudder. That bumper though, had to go.


His seeing that I knew a thing or two about cars and loving junkyards, "Dad" enlisted me with the task of finding a bumper for his Alpha and would often start our conversations wanting an update on the status of my search for it. Now, we're talking 1989-1990, in the days before the internet  finding a rear bumper to an Alfa Romeo was akin to looking for one particular grain of sand at the beach. Still, he pressed me over and over for it. The man had a mission.


The Alfa Romeo "Spider" was a series of two passenger roadsters manufactured and sold by the Italian automobile manufacturer between 1966 and 1993. You may be familiar with the 1966 Spider Mk1 made famous by Dustin Hoffman in the 1967 film, "The Graduate".


My father-in-law's Alfa was 1978 Mk2 2000 Spider Veloce with a 2.0 liter, double over head cam shaft, 16 valve in four with mechanical fuel injection. Our subject car is a 1985 Mk3 "Graduate" with Bosch electronic fuel injection. "Graduates" were stripped down economy versions of the Spider marketed at enthusiasts. Oddly enough the electronic fuel injection engine developed slightly less horsepower and torque than the mechanical fuel injection engine. Chalk that up to the dark days of the gas crisis era when advancements in engine controls were done almost exclusively to benefit fuel economy and emissions.


Our Mk3 subject, above on the left, has a rubber casing that goes around the entire rear of the car and encloses the back "safety bumper" quite nicely. It's the only significant visual detail that differentiates it from the Mk2's. I much prefer the Mk3's restyle even though it makes the car look much larger than it actually is. It's also unusual that an update of a gorgeous original design makes the original better - this is an exception to that rule. In any event, with the bumper bashed in on "Dad's Alfa", you can almost imagine how garish that might have looked. And, yes, you wouldn't be alone wondering why he bought the car in that condition in the first place but I digress.


Penned by the original Battista "Pinin" Farina in 1966, the Spider's basic shape is a hallmark of automotive design thus making it the perfect backdrop for a major life event.


When I wanted to propose to my wife I first wanted to ask "Dad" for his permission to do so and I wanted to do so when she wasn't home. No, we did not live together beforehand. Needing a rouse to go over to the their house when she wouldn't be there I came up with the perfect cover; I called "Dad" and toldl him that I found a bumper to the Alpha.


To say the man was excited was an understatement. He was more like in a state of utter euphoria. Putting the phone down a little voice in the back of my head told me that he might be more disappointed in my not having the bumper for his car than he would be happy at my wanting to marry his daughter. Steadfast, I made the drive up to their home anyhow. 


Asking another man for his daughter's hand in marriage is not the easiest nor simplest of things to pull off; especially when one of the men in the conversation is not prone to overt melodrama and the other is more interested in something else entirely. After I managed to gently nudge the conversation away from the Alpha and over to the matter at hand, which he almost nonchalantly approved of, he looked at me with a half cocked grin and said, "Chuck, Where's My Bumper"? 

Ciao Bella. 

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