2004 Lincoln Town Car - Smart Kid

 

Last weekend the wife stumbled upon this 2004 Lincoln Town Car for sale near our home here in Cleveland. With my Monte Carlo on a morphine drip and us not wanting to jump into 48 - 72-month "paper" right now, with an asking price of $3,000 and her knowing of my penchant for big old cars, she thought it a good idea that I kick its tires and see what was up with it. 

 

Ten, fifteen...twenty years ago, I would have leaped at this car but as I've gotten older I've actually become younger; at least in terms of my taste in cars. I was ambivalent about test driving this but I did it anyway. Hey, you never know, maybe there was some magic in its plastic chromed grill that would entice me. I dragged our 21-year-old son with me who was even more incredulous about it than I was.  
 

 

My opinions about these cars has eroded slowly over the years to the point now I can't look past them being "old man cars" at worst and "service cars" at best. Who would buy such a moth bally thing new as a daily driver? Some people did although the reasons why are lost on me. It's not that they were bargains either. This well equipped "Signature Series" stickering for more than $45,000 back in its day. A far superior Lexus LS 430 about $10,000 more. Shoot, you're ready to drop $45G on a Lincoln what's another ten or fifteen grand?

 

 

It's been a while since I've been up close and personal with one of these and I'd forgotten just how big they are. 215 inches long and 78 inches wide. That's more than a foot longer than my not small Monte Carlo and two inches wider. The length is manageable - it's the width of big cars that throws me for a loop.

 



  

That extra width enabling "comfortable" three across seating fore and aft. That center armrest folds up making a seat back of sorts although the practice of three across up front these days seems as crazy as smoking.



Back here three across would be better although I pity the fool who'd have to sit on the hump. Kids today have no idea how good they got it. 

My driving experience with this car was, no surprise, disappointing. While this big rig of a car held together like no Town Car of yore, compared to most anything else on the road today it felt squishy, jiggly and soft. Part of that might have been the pounding 140,000 miles and 14 years of Cleveland roads has done to it but the owner bragged how the entire front end had been "redone" recently. You'd never know it. I felt so disconnected from the road in this car that I thought there was something wrong with it. There was nothing wrong - it's just the way cars used to be.  

 

There is something to be said about a massive trunk and styling details afforded by this much sheet metal. There's a full size spare in there with enough room left over for a stash of luggage and a couple of golf bags. It's a matter of taste of course but I've always found these cars to be at least interesting looking - although that doesn't mean I like them enough to seriously considering buying one. If these came in two door guise with a ranked back windshield perhaps I'd feel differently but Lincoln hadn't offered a "Town Coupe" since 1981.

 

 

After my test drive I gave the keys back to the owner with my standard, "lovely car...let me talk to my wife" speech. On the way home I contemplated making him a serious offer. What I liked about the car was that, given a mechanic's inspection, I'd have a sound car on the cheap that has none of the issues my ailing Monte Carlo has. When I mentioned it to my son he looked at me cock-eyed and reminded me that anything special that I saw in the car would fade quickly and then I'd be stuck with a Lincoln Town Car. Smart kid.