2022 Jeep Grand Wagoneer - They Can Afford it, Right?

The other night I was gassing up my son's 2003 Chevrolet Malibu after using it for the day and a handsome couple in their early thirties pulled up next to me in one of these new Jeep Grand Wagoneer's. After I lied to them about how nice I thought it was and they thanked me, I drove away wondering not only how a couple that young could afford such a thing but how anyone would drop as much as they did on a Jeep. And a really homely looking one at that. Sorry, but I like to reassure people who I believe have foolishly spent an enormous amount of money that they've done so wisely. 

These sticker for around $70,000 and top out at more than $110,000 so that couple must be pulling it down in buckets or they're spending everything they make as fast as they can spend it. I should have spoken with them longer and quizzed them about their purchase. Why a Jeep and not an established luxury SUV brand with more snoot appeal like a BMW, Audi or Mercedes? Shoot, why not a Cadillac Escalade or Lincoln Navigator? Because it has features like eight touch screens, genuine wood trim and an available cooler in the center console? Then again, it could be they simply love the darn thing, like they both intimated, and could care less about bouchie labeling and such. That would be refreshing to hear. 

Then again, driving my sons beat-to-death Malibu and me in pajama pants, an old hoodie and slippers I know I would have come across more like a homeless person than a consumer research wonk. Worse yet, a serial car-blogger. Surprised they even acknowledged me. I'm so not worthy! 

We blindly assume that people that live in extravagant houses and drive fancy cars are of the financial means to afford such things. We've all heard about people who make good if not excellent money who've gone bankrupt. And gone bankrupt multiple times. People do, newsflash, have a habit of making horrible, long and semi-long term financial decisions like buying the most expensive house on the block and pricey vehicles with dubious or yet to be known resale value. Not that it would make any difference if "Grand Wagoneer" was as vaunted a luxury nameplate as established makes and models. It was at one time but that was now long ago before those kids were even born. God, I feel old. 

Jeep, now a division of Fiat Chrysler, is without question the primogenitor of sport-utility-vehicles but they are very late to the monster luxury SUV party. And to come with one that doesn't look like any other Jeep, to say nothing about not have any semblance to the gloriously luscious Wagoneer's of yore, is a grill scratcher. Oh the hopes we had for a retro-themed Wagaoneer but alas, we got this rolling meat locker. If it's not going to look like a Wagoneer from back-in-the-day, why use the name? Why not call it a Grand Cherokee XL? More like XXXL. They already have a Cherokee "L". Confusing? 

Fiat Chrysler all but doesn't even brand this as a Jeep. Someone explain that to me. The only "Jeep" logos are on plastic stampings on the back of the exterior rear-view mirrors on the driver and passenger doors. Everywhere else it's branded as either a "Wagoneer" or "Grand Wagoneer". Odd. Perhaps they're aware it doesn't have the slightest shred of "Jeep" that even a cheapie Compass has. 

By the way, a "Grand" Wagoneer is a trim level of the Wagoneer unlike a Grand Cherokee being totally different from a Cherokee. Again, you got that? What's with the whole "Grand" scheme too; so "Malaise Era". Grand Marquis, Grand Torino (that was actually "Gran"), Grand Fury etc. Grand Buffet anyone? 

Yeah, yeah. This thing is feature rich, handles way smaller than it actually is and has a gorgeous interior, but it's so expensive the value proposition is obliterated that even (some) rich people can or should appreciate. Years ago, Lexus cut its teeth successfully aping European luxury cars and doing so at a steep discount, they were all about exceeding expectations. The new Grand Wagoneer is as expensive as anything with a tri-star or blue and white propeller on its hood but with none of the driveway showoff appeal you'd think would be important to the well-heeled sect. Doesn't even look like anything else either. In this case that's not a good thing. No wonder Fiat Chrysler doesn't want to call it a Jeep. 

Even if that young couple loves their Grand Wagoneer simply for what it is I sure hope they leased it. Otherwise they're going to take a bath at trade in time. Then again, they can probably afford it, right?