1967 Mercury Comet Capri - What Kind of Comet?

To those of us of a certain vintage, this one's a bit of a head scratcher. To us, not only does "Mercury Capri" mean either a Ford of Europe built 2+2 or a Fox-body Mustang knock-off, but "Mercury Comet" denotes a Ford Maverick clone. "Mercury Capri" also connotates an Australian built, Mazda 323 sourced two-passenger roadster and, going back to 1960, Mercury's version of the Ford Falcon. Fun fact, the original Comet was just "Comet" as it was originally intended to be sold as an Edsel. What's more, The Ford Motor Company also used "Capri" on a Lincoln back in the early 1950's. Probably the least famous of all the (Ford) Capri's were these 1966 and 1967 models when Ford used it to label their entry level intermediate-sized Mercury Comet below the Caliente and the Cyclone. Our blue (or is it green?) coupe here is a '67. 

Confused, much? Over at Ford (the division), while they shuffled "Fairlane" around a bit moving it from a full or "standard" sized model to an intermediate starting in 1962, they never recycled nameplates like they did at their woe-begotten middle-child. Well, that was until most recently with the advent of the new "Bronco" and "Maverick" and don't get me started again about the "Mustang Mach-E". For the purpose of today's soliloquy, they really didn't. At least back in the day as we say. 

There's no way that juggling of the same model nameplate so often was a good marketing tactic. Consistency of product is, frankly a no-brainer and is fundamental in branding. Being so herky-jerky also made it readily apparent that if Ford (the company) had no idea what to do with Mercury, the poor folks who worked at Mercury had no idea what they were doing either. Save for the '49 "Merc", the "Breezeway" sedans of the mid Sixties and the 1967-1968 Cougar, most Mercury's were pretty forgettable. Like this '67 Comet Capri. 

Ford's Mercury division was created by Edsel Ford in 1938 has a competitor to GM's "mid-priced three". And if GM at times struggled to differentiate a Pontiac from an Oldsmobile and a Buick, or a Chevrolet from a Cadillac, imagine how bad Ford had it lacking the resources and talent GM had. "Mercury" usually meant a somewhat dressed up Ford although there were occasions it was a dressed down Lincoln. Either way, Mercury's never sold well and it was a miracle Ford kept the money-sucking operation around for seventy-one model years. 

These "Comet Capri's" are super rare so that might be why the poster of the ad for this thing south of Hartford, Connecticut has it pegged at more than $6,300. Another example of Pandemic driven hyper-inflation or is someone overestimating the value of an automobile they know is unique? This just in...unique and rare doesn't always mean valuable. Especially something like this that's saddled with a six-cylinder engine and needs, as the ad points out, a "full-restoration". Good grief, are those...cigarette butts? 

When I was a kid growing up on Long Island, I never saw Mercury Comets of this vintage and if I did, I probably thought it was a Ford Fairlane. Come to think of it, I never saw Ford Fairlane's much either.  To me, a Comet is a Maverick and a Capri is a Mustang. And that won't change (again) until Ford glues or rivets "Comet" or "Capri" to some trucky "cute-ute" thing. Based on the recent past and Ford's inherent inability to come up with new names for their vehicles, you know they will. 

1977 Chevrolet Corvette Front End Rebuild - Whether You Think You Can or Think You Can't, You're Right (Revisited)

There's a saying on Long Island that if you own a home, you're either rich or handy. Same should be said for owning any "classic car". Especially older Corvette's like this '77 my wife and I bought ten years ago. 

This car has been nothing but trouble from the get-go; it even broke down on the way home from the dealership where I bought it. But what irked me most about it was the moaning, groaning, banging and general instability of the totally worn out rear-end on it. It got so bad that I had taken it off the road and our "Little Red Corvette" just sat in the garage like so many old cars purchased in the throes of passion. Which was really sad.  

My wife all but insisted I sell it at that point if we weren't going to use it, but I knew finding a sucker to take it off our hands for even $5,000 would be a long shot. Maybe not even $4,000. $3,000? Going once...going twice. That would be a shame too given that with a credit card and or muscle and knowledge, someone would wind up with a nice riding, handling and at least from ten feet away, a really good looking third-generation Corvette on the relative cheap. After plowing through buckets of research, I decided that fine fellow might as well be me. 

I dove into the rear suspension rebuild shortly after The Pandemic Lockdown began and wrapped it up in December of 2020. Not a complicated job, per se, just grueling, heavy work. And traipsing all over Ohio, Michigan and Pennsylvania for parts exclusive to 1968-1982 Corvettes was an adventure as well. However, the up-to-factory fresh-snuff rear suspension accentuated how worn out the front suspension was. Lucky me. 

I started "Phase II" of the great Corvette suspension rebuild this past January 29th and save for getting near frost bit, I started the project as the longest and harshest cold snap since The Polar Vortex walloped northeast Ohio, it was a piece of cake compared to the rear suspension. I "officially" wrapped it up March 5. Not bad.  

The most stressful part of the project was the somewhat crippling fear of the unknown and, frankly, fear and uncertainty itself. It wasn't so much a question of whether or not I could do it as whether or not I was going to get seriously injured. Many a DIY video and online forum had me terrified that I was going to lose a finger, hand or worse removing and installing these ominous looking coil springs. Then I'd read about how other people, men and women, who scoffed at how dangerous the springs can be. I found the truth to be somewhere in the middle. I came to respect the springs, not fear them. 

The toughest part was using the Autozone rented spring compressor. It's a big, clumsy and somewhat heavy clunker that is counter intuitive to operate. And when I got it to work, it took every mental gymnastics moves I could muster not to blink when the springs were compressed what with the notion of it exploding open in my hands crushing a digit or two or damaging the car. Or another car. Or worse, hitting me in the face or throat. 

Last hurdle with the front end was aligning it. That's still a work in progress. Toe, camber and caster are all terms I'm still coming to grips with. My first test drive with everything freshly installed could have been a scene out of a Laurel and Hardy movie. Seemed like the driver's side wanted to go one way, the passenger side the other. Slowly but surely, I've adjusted most of those gremlins out. 

My advice is that if you're thinking of doing a project like this that you do your research and take your time. There's no sense in rushing seeing the project itself, like home improvement projects, will dictate how long it will actually take to complete it. That said, triple if not quadruple the amount of time you think it will take you to do even what appears to be the simplest of tasks. Best is you'll also save thousands. I shudder to think what it would have run us to have the front and rear suspensions professionally rebuilt but I'd say somewhere between $7,500 and $10,000. Perhaps more but probably no less. The feeling of satisfaction you get, while fleeting, is a nice added bonus. 

I also wouldn't attempt to do something like working on suspensions on any car if you don't think you have fairly good mechanical intuition. Even folks that do, like me, might think twice. Then again, like Crazy Henry (Ford) said, "Whether You Think You Can or Think You Can't, You're Right". 

1983 Cadillac Coupe deVille - It's All About the Bass

This isn't just another overpriced Facebook Marketplace find, friends. Well, it is to some extent but when you scratch below the surface, this 1983 Cadillac Coupe deVille, priced ambitiously at $7,500, is a lot more interesting than your run of the mill Cadillac of this vintage that's been sitting in a garage since grandpa and or grandma passed away. 

Thanks in large part to what the poster of the ad claims is a "newly done 500", appears one of the major problems with this car has already been taken care of. That meaning that the boat anchor HT4100 it came from the factory with has been mercifully tossed and in its place is a god's green earth, "old school", Cadillac V-8 dropped in. Handsomely too I might add. Have to take their word that it's a "500". Could be, frankly, anything from a 368 to a 425 or 472. Hard to tell one from the other. In any event, any of those big mills are a marked improvement over the feeble and unreliable 4100.   

But wait, there's more. Oh, so much more. For your $7,500, you also get a sound system that could blow out the walls of a movie theater. This three-thousand-watt, American Bass amplifier is the heart of whole thing. 

You also get this custom-built sound cube in the trunk. Probably is removable, the ad didn't get too much into specifics. Looks like there might be enough room to get some groceries around out. I don't "get it" but some people most certainly do. 

The icing on the cake is this "CC" or "Custom Coach" front grill complete with a Rolls Royce spirit of ecstasy knockoff. Looks like a giant golden wasp landed on the hood but that's just me. These things are crazy expensive too. Quick ebay search and you'll find this thing could go for more than what the engine cost. Not to mention the sound system. 

 

Part of me wants this car just so I can show off that front end and have people whisper things about me behind my back. "Has...has...Charley lost his mind?"

Install of the "head unit" looks clean enough, although the plug-in screen looks as out of place as a modern flat screen TV in the living room of a Civil War era home. At least it unplugs and tucks away neatly. Can't say the same for the faded red carpeting. 

The closer you can get this to 5G the better the buy it is. I'm not interested in the sound system or the front grill anyway. I'd get rid of most of that stuff and sell it, then restore this to as much factory as possible. I'd floor the gas any chance I'd get so as to enjoy the massive torque from that "newly done 500". It is all about the bass, as they say. Right? 

Gravity Bleeding Brakes - It at First You DO Succeed...

To a fault, I'm as incredulous as they come. And at my ripening age, much as I'd like to, I don't think I'm going to change much. I seriously doubt everything unless someone, something or I prove it differently. Today's soliloquy is about such a time recently when, honestly faced with no other choice, I proved my previously held notions to be incorrect as I resorted to what I thought was the most ridiculous method of bleeding brake lines I had ever seen. 

This whole thing started when I was test driving the '77 after yet another alignment adjustment on the recently rebuilt front-end. I noticed the usually awesome brakes didn't have quite the "bite" or grab they usually do. Turned out the re-manufactured caliper I had on the right rear had failed. Tell-tale was a faint film of brake fluid on the rotor; it wasn't gushing fluid, just enough of a leak to inhibit the right rear brake from engaging fully and properly. I replaced the caliper immediately under lifetime warranty from Autozone. 

Replacing the caliper wasn't a big deal but if you've ever done it, bleeding the brakes, most certainly was. In the past my wife has been my faithful albeit begrudging assistant and she was far from enthusiastic about being so again. She scoffed at my telling her it would take "five-minutes" as she knows what a pain in the tail pipe time-suck it can be. 

We've never "failed" before but this time we unapologetic-ally did. Our communication broke down repeatedly and the master cylinder draining out, that was on me, didn't help either. I threw in the oily rag after about an hour of my, what she claims my,  "barking directions" to her to push the brake pedal down and then release it as I opened and closed the bleeder valves. Only thing to show for it was more than a quart of Dot 3 brake fluid wasted. Stuff is not really expensive at $8.99 a quart but when you go through it like I can, it does add up. 

 

Crestfallen but with resolve as steely as ever, I let the earth cool somewhat before I decided to try    "gravity bleeding" the system as outlined in this DIY video from a gentleman who calls himself, "Corvette Hop". What did I have to lose beside another quart of brake fluid? If this didn't work, I figured, I'd just take the damn thing to a shop and have them do it. The front brakes still worked well enough to make a short trip.  

Gravity bleeding is, as the name implies, where you use gravity to literally pull brake fluid through the lines. The pulling of the fluid, theory goes at least, also pushes out air that's trapped in the system. So simple sounding that there's no way in hell this would work, right? 

The master cylinder is always higher than the calipers or cylinders on drum brakes, but I didn't leave anything to chance. I jacked the front up much, much higher than the rear, placed catch pans under the rotors, topped off the master cylinder and opened all four bleeder valves at the same time on the two rear calipers. Yes, third generation Corvette's with the original spec calipers are four-piston jobs and have two-bleeders each. 

I let everything bleed for more than half an hour keeping a close eye on the fluid level in the master cylinder topping it off constantly so it wouldn't drain out completely. Afterwards, I topped off the master cylinder (hopefully for the last time), put the top back on it, closed the bleeders, wiped everything down with brake cleaner, put the rear tires on, jacked it all down and, hoping for the best but prepared for the worst, went for a ride. 

I knew something was up, in a good way, when before I turned the engine over the brake pedal felt as solid as a rock. I started the engine and I knew I was in a for a nice surprise when I went to shift into reverse and the brake pedal still felt solid. Could it be this method worked? 

Much to my sheer delight if not flat-footed astonishment, it did. The brakes bit, dare I say, harder than ever. Son of a gun, gravity bleeding worked! And worked beautifully and with little to no stress at all. While my wife wasn't fazed or impressed at all, she was at least grateful that she'd never have to help me bleed brakes ever again. 

As they say, "if at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment". 

 

1977 Chevrolet Caprice - Who's Buying These Cars?

Going on ten years ago I blogged about a '78 Chevrolet Impala that was for sale near my home here in Cleveland, Ohio that had an asking price of $4,200. If I thought that asking price pie-in-the-sky, imagine what I think of this '77 Caprice for sale on Facebook Marketplace in Minneapolis with an asking price of $10,000. 

Granted, this Caprice has slightly less mid-west patina than that Impala had but still, the hell is going on here? An argument on the Facebook group that featured this car was that if this goes for ten-grand it bodes well for all of us who have a "classic". And he wasn't referring to "classic" as in "Caprice Classic" either. 

Well, if we happen to have Grand dad's old car in the garage and we have nothing "in it", then I'd tend to agree with that sentiment but for the rest of us who own a "classic", I fail to see how that bodes well for us. It's kind of like housing prices exploding in your neighborhood. It's all well and good your home has increased in value, but if everyone's home as increased in value - where are you going to move to take advantage of your lottery-esque found booty? 

And then there's the risk of deflation. You drop ten-grand on this and then it's value plummets due to either a cratering economy or things finally returning to "normal". Then what do you have? A 1977 Chevrolet Caprice you blew ten-thousand dollars on. I sure hope you really like this car because as an investment it might be as bad as it gets. Seriously, I can't believe anyone would pay that kind of money for one of these. 

GM's class of 1977 downsized full-size cars were heralded as watersheds of engineering and design efficiency. I've always thought that fairly whimsical given that all they did was shrink-ray their existing designs back down to what they were back in the early to mid-'60's after a decade or so of inexplicable bulking up. These cars did nothing to advance the state of the art of automotive engineering seeing they all but used the same mechanical ethos they'd been using going back to before World War II. Front engine, rear drive with a live axle, full-perimeter frame. Where was the real advancement? 

And the designs, in my humblest of opinion's, were decidedly mixed. Nothing terrible like what they did with the intermediates come 1978 but certainly nothing great or, ahem, "classic". Of the gaggle of '77's, I'm least ambivalent towards the Buick LeSabre coupe meanwhile I find these Chevrolet's as appliance like as a Chevy Cruze. A 1961 GM bubble-top coupe these most certainly weren't. 

But how to explain the asking price on this bomber? NADA pegs these on the high end at just under six-grand, average price of around $3,300. Which seems about right for this. And in line with the ambitious ask on Grandma's Impala from a decade ago. 

Who knows. Maybe they'll luck out and someone will pay them what they're asking. That, incidentally, would not bode well for anyone but the seller. 

1969 Dodge Charger - Go Ahead. Blow Your Nest Egg

It's funny how when people find out that I'm a "Car Guy", one of the first things they ask me is, "what's your favorite car?" I'd like to say that I have a smart, witty retort like, "it's a tossup between a 1929 Delage dB120 and a 1957 BMW Isetta," but I don't. Rather, I run through the same old boring litany of "1970 Chevelle, 1969 Camaro...Hemi 'Cuda blah blah blah". To make myself sound somewhat sophisticated I might throw in a '64 Riviera. And while that cliched list is in fact the truth, I find it interesting that I always forget about how much I love 1968 and 1969 Dodge Charger's. I'll throw in a 1970 too but in my opinion they're just not as jaw dropping\earth movingly "gotta-have-it" as the '68 and '69's are. Our stunning subject is a freshly restored 1969.  

I think the reason for my absent mindedness about these cars is simple - I'm a GM girl by default and you just don't see that many 1968-1970 Charger's out there. Even at car shows, you see more AMC AMX'. Just as well as the smattering of Chargers there are get a tractor trailer load of attention. I mean, look at this thing. Even in silver, which is far from my favorite color for a car, it's The Balls. 

Now, rather than go into the pretentiousness of dissecting the design line-by-line, which I find all but perfect, again, even in silver, let me say that the only flaw I find with these cars is they're just too damn big. Although technically a mid-size car, at 208-inches long on a whopping 117-inch-long wheelbase, these cars were more like "smaller" full-sizers than intermediates. And they make a '68 GTO appear all but diminutive. Mustangs of the vintage are golf cart sized in comparison. 

They're so much bigger than an also new for '68 GM intermediate like a Chevelle, LeMans\GTO, Cutlass or even a Ford Fairlane Torino, because they're built on Chrysler's infamous "B-body" chassis that underpinned the 1962 Dodge and Plymouth (full-size) reboot. When Dodge (and Plymouth) "upsized" with a new full-size chassis (C-body) for 1965, they kept the old "B-body" around as a defacto intermediate. Thing is, while it was too small to be really "full-size", it was actually way too big to be a mid-sizer. Then again, we are talking about the 1960's when (automotive) dinosaurs roamed the earth. 

Dodge's first Charger based on the "B-body" came out in 1966 and not only was it, in my most humble of opinions, homely as sin, it was a sales dud. This Charger was a quasi-update of the new-for-1965 (B-body) Dodge Coronet and was positioned to compete simultaneously with the Ford Mustang and Pontiac GTO. I know. As if. In fairness, these cars may have aged better than anyone may have thought back then. 

In addition to questionable styling, the '66 and '67 Charger offered no performance benefit to similarly powered Coronet's because, thanks to this crazy big fastback that I swear you could ski off of, it was significantly heavier. Dodge sold just over 53,000 Chargers in two model years meanwhile Ford moved more than a million Mustangs and Pontiac peddled some 180,000 GTO's. As they say, back to the drawing board. 

With more than just a little General Motors pixie dust backed into it, a former GM stylist had a heavy hand in it, the updated Charger for '68 with its flying-buttress rear windshield (or backlight) is a bonafide legend. But don't take my word for it. Dodge sold nearly 100,000 Chargers for 1968 and in 1969. Yes, a mere drop in the bucket compared to Ford Mustang sales, but they at least put a dent in the Endura bumper of GTO's. And their relative scarcity (perhaps) spurs the asking price of our silver fox here which is pegged at an absurd, you sitting down? $73,500. Say that slowly and it sounds like even more. Seventy-three-thousand, five-hundred-dollars. 

I know the used and classic car market is crazy wonky these days but that's just ridiculous. NADA guidelines do peg this at around $66,000(!!). NADA  prices don't steer the market, they reflect it so while this is technically overpriced, it's not unreasonable based on the market. Although, that spread between the book value and asking price is enough to buy something "classic" and fairly interesting if you dig deep enough. Hey, if you're hell bent on blowing your nest egg, by all means. Have at it. 

2008 Buick Lucerne - As Good As it Gets. Right Now (at least)

With my 2002 Dale Earnhardt Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS facing possible extinction what with it having to pass Ohio e-Check before I can renew its registration, I scratched the surface of the used car market today and uncovered this interesting (not so) little gem for sale on Cleveland's "east side". It's a 2008 Buick Lucerne with just 85,000 on its digital ticker and an asking price of $3,500. With a leather interior and GM's late, great 3800 Series III V-6, this, friends, is about as good as it gets as a used car purchase gets these days. 

The only problem with it is, aside from this "custom" red piping, which is only up front, is the seller says the check engine light is on because of "the evap". Why they don't go ahead and have that fixed is a question I'll never get answered. But why don't they? Well, because it would cut into their profit margins of course. I'd pay more for this car with it not "throwing codes" and with this god awful, obviously hand applied red stuff yanked out. 

If I was that desperate, and who's to say I won't be eventually, what with my brutal commute, this Lucerne checks the list on what I would be looking for. That being an inexpensive car that would be relatively inexpensive to fix, has low mileage, is comfortable, reasonable on gas and is something that I wouldn't mind plowing zillions of miles onto. Big trunk, somewhat interesting looking and a comfy, easily accessible back seat too. Damn it, what am I? My father? 

Then again, it's a Buick four-door sedan so as much as it may have going for it, I'd liken it more to a rolling coffin than a transportation conveyance. Funny how when I wore a younger man's clothes, I thought nothing of driving an old man's car. Nowadays I wouldn't be caught dead in one. Never say never. 

Buick offered the handsome Lucerne from 2005-2011. Replacing the Park Avenue and the LeSabre, it rides on the same chassis that also underpinned the Cadillac DTS of the same vintage although one with a shorter wheelbase. That shorter, tidier wheelbase gives the Lucerne better proportion than the clumsy looking DTS. This to me is a car GM should have, could have sold as a bargain basement Cadillac. Cadillac "Park Avenue", anyone? 

They also offered these with the Cadillac "Northstar" engine the 3800 Series III V-6 like this one has is the way to go. Cadillac may have sorted out most of the issues with the Northstar by 2005 but it's still a Northstar. Although you're giving up the dark side of a hundred horsepower and nearly fifty some odd foot pounds of torque, the Series III will be easier on gas, just as smooth and will run forever. You won't win any drag races but then again, c'mon. It's a Buick sedan. 

Lucerne is named after the city in the middle of Switzerland, and many say it's the prettiest city in the world. Can't say anyone would say the Buick Lucerne is the prettiest car in the world but in these semi-post Covid times with runaway inflation and supply chain issues, as a used car, it may just be the best value in the world right now. Check engine light be damned.