2008 Buick Lucerne - As Good As it Gets. Right Now (at least)

With my 2002 Dale Earnhardt Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS facing possible extinction what with it having to pass Ohio e-Check before I can renew its registration, I scratched the surface of the used car market today and uncovered this interesting (not so) little gem for sale on Cleveland's "east side". It's a 2008 Buick Lucerne with just 85,000 on its digital ticker and an asking price of $3,500. With a leather interior and GM's late, great 3800 Series III V-6, this, friends, is about as good as it gets as a used car purchase gets these days. 

The only problem with it is, aside from this "custom" red piping, which is only up front, is the seller says the check engine light is on because of "the evap". Why they don't go ahead and have that fixed is a question I'll never get answered. But why don't they? Well, because it would cut into their profit margins of course. I'd pay more for this car with it not "throwing codes" and with this god awful, obviously hand applied red stuff yanked out. 

If I was that desperate, and who's to say I won't be eventually, what with my brutal commute, this Lucerne checks the list on what I would be looking for. That being an inexpensive car that would be relatively inexpensive to fix, has low mileage, is comfortable, reasonable on gas and is something that I wouldn't mind plowing zillions of miles onto. Big trunk, somewhat interesting looking and a comfy, easily accessible back seat too. Damn it, what am I? My father? 

Then again, it's a Buick four-door sedan so as much as it may have going for it, I'd liken it more to a rolling coffin than a transportation conveyance. Funny how when I wore a younger man's clothes, I thought nothing of driving an old man's car. Nowadays I wouldn't be caught dead in one. Never say never. 

Buick offered the handsome Lucerne from 2005-2011. Replacing the Park Avenue and the LeSabre, it rides on the same chassis that also underpinned the Cadillac DTS of the same vintage although one with a shorter wheelbase. That shorter, tidier wheelbase gives the Lucerne better proportion than the clumsy looking DTS. This to me is a car GM should have, could have sold as a bargain basement Cadillac. Cadillac "Park Avenue", anyone? 

They also offered these with the Cadillac "Northstar" engine the 3800 Series III V-6 like this one has is the way to go. Cadillac may have sorted out most of the issues with the Northstar by 2005 but it's still a Northstar. Although you're giving up the dark side of a hundred horsepower and nearly fifty some odd foot pounds of torque, the Series III will be easier on gas, just as smooth and will run forever. You won't win any drag races but then again, c'mon. It's a Buick sedan. 

Lucerne is named after the city in the middle of Switzerland, and many say it's the prettiest city in the world. Can't say anyone would say the Buick Lucerne is the prettiest car in the world but in these semi-post Covid times with runaway inflation and supply chain issues, as a used car, it may just be the best value in the world right now. Check engine light be damned. 

 

1991 Chevrolet Lumina Z34 - Last One. I Swear. Well, That Is Until I Find Another One.

I swear this'll be the last blog I'll do on a Chevrolet Lumina\Monte Carlo Z34. Well, until I find another one. This one here is a 1991 and is the most beat to death "Z" I've ever seen. Far worse even than that '92 I found at the Pull-A-Part back in December. It's for sale maybe thirty minutes from where I live with an asking price of $1,000. Don't y'all be cloggin' up my in-bin with requests to get hooked up but if you want I most certainly will. 

To review, I had a '94 Z-34 and I was pretty disappointed with it. While it handled quite well and was very cool looking and quite comfortable, I was less than enamored with its engine - the polarizing "LQ1", 3.4 liter, "Dual Twin Cam V-6" that was supposed to be GM's answer to the Yamaha DOHC V-6 in the Ford Taurus SHO. That LQ1 has its fans although I seriously have to wonder why anyone would favor that engine over the gaggle of 3800's over the years. Or a bicycle. 

I found the LQ1 noisy, slow-revving, thirsty and unless I floored the gas constantly, really didn't have the get-up-and-go I had hoped for; I felt as though I wasted my money on the damn thing. To make matters worse, I had traded in my perfectly fine 1990 Lumina Euro 3.1 as a down payment on a 36-month, 45,000-mile lease on it. I have not, for the record, made an automotive financial faux pas anywhere near that bad since. I've made other mistakes but nothing that bad on an automotive front. 

The problem with that engine was GM went on the cheap with it. Rather than a clean sheet design like the Yamaha engine in the SHO, they started with their 2.8-liter iron block, 60-degree V-6 and built it up from there like some hack in a high school shop class. Thanks to chains instead of belts driving the valve-train, my LQ1 was a clickity-clackity rude affair that sounded anything but space-age and modern like I thought that it should. 

Its sluggishness exacerbated by GM's 3100 V-6 that they came out with in 1993. Essentially an updated 3.1-liter V-6, itself an update of the 2.8 the LQ1 was based on, I couldn't believe the smooth, instant power of anything it powered. Including the new-for-1995 Lumina and it's freshly rechristened two-door stable mate they called, "Monte Carlo". 

Soon as the lease was up on my '94 Z I got myself into a 1997 Monte Carlo LS with that snappy 3100 and never regretted it. Well, save for the two intake manifold gaskets it ingested but I digress. 

Fittingly, although there's no pictures of it, the LQ1 in this beat to death redhead was ditched 10 years ago and replaced with, you guessed it, a 3100 V-6. 

 

2002 Dale Earnhardt Chevrolet Monte Carlo at 240K - Better The Devil You Know

The dashboard on my 2002 Dale Earnhardt Chevrolet Monte Carlo glowed like a Christmas Tree last Wednesday when along with the omni-present CHECK ENGINE LIGHT, the "ABS" and "SERVICE TRACTION NOW" dingers came on. Merry Christmas to you too, Dale.

To make matters worse, my gas gauge was stuck on full despite more than two-hundred fifty-miles driven since last I filled up. It's since "fixed" itself but we know these things only get worse. Along with my soggy rear struts, creeping rust issues and staring down the barrel of two-hundred and forty-thousand miles on the digital ticker, it got me thinking about how long I can keep this twenty-year old good old boy rolling. 

Like someone who won't change their fashion sense or hairstyle, I did a quick search on Facebook Marketplace for, you guessed it, Chevrolet Monte Carlo's. I found several in varying degrees of distress within 500 miles of my home on Cleveland, Ohio's west side but this one outside Dayton was the most compelling. General Motors hasn't built my vintage of Monte Carlo since 2005 and none since 2007 so ones in decent shape or are fixable at least are getting harder and harder to find. Us beggars or those looking for a solid bargain can't be too choosy. 

It was far from perfect but with just  under  one-hundred and twenty-eight thousand miles on it I could do worse. Especially for $3,100. The seller said the only major issue it had was that it needed an oil pan gasket. No big deal given that I'd done the one of my car myself at the start of The Pandemic thus side-stepping an absurd repair tab; it was at least $800. It's not a complicated job but because the passenger side engine mount is in the way of getting the pan out, it's a fairly labor-intensive one. Messy too. 

 

I don't mind so much that it wasn't a "Dale" but I chaffed somewhat at no sunroof, no heated seats, the lack of a cassette deck and no power passenger seat. I could swap everything over from my car, save for the sunroof of course. Still, it was an SS with the F41 suspension and 3800 Series II V-6; despite the oil pan issues, I believe it to be one of the best engines GM has ever built. Right up there the lordly Chevrolet small-block.

The very responsive owner of the car and I messaged back and forth several times late last week and we left it that I'd be in contact with them after Christmas. If it wasn't so far away I probably would have made the trip but a four-hour if not four and half hour drive to kick the tires of a car I was luke warm about from the start didn't seem to me to be the best way to spend my time. 

My wife also had a pearls of wisdom. Yes, my "Dale" has a significant amount of mileage on it but I've put all but fourteen-thousand of the near two-hundred forty-thousand miles on it over the last eleven going on twelve years. Who knows how the one-hundred twenty-eight thousand miles or so were put on this car. On older cars, seriously, it's not so much how many miles are on them, it's more like, "how were the miles put on?"

"Better the devil you know", she said. And I couldn't agree more. I'll swap the wheel bearings if and when the ABS system becomes a recurring issue on the Dale. Same with the gas gauge relay. Rear struts too. 

Better the devil or Intimidator you know.