1971 Mercury Marquis - Saturday Morning Cartoons

I blame my first car, a 1974 Mercury Comet four-door sedan, for my general disdain of four-door cars.  However, if I had to have a four-door, I'd like it to be a "hard top" like this 1971 Mercury Marquis I found for sale on Facebook Marketplace recently. The term "hardtop" denotes any car that lacks a center pillar or post and is derived from the look of convertibles, usually ones with just two-doors, with their top up. 

That's not to say I like this car. In addition to it being a four-door, I've never been much of a Ford girl although a Mustang or Thunderbird or two or three could rock my world. And as I get older, my appreciation for the squishy land yachts of my youth is waning. Still, for some reason I felt it my duty to blog about this '71 for no other reason than, again, as I've gotten older, I feel the ever widening "canyon of time" separating the present from my childhood. Here's to representing us kids who remember Kent State, the Paris Peace Accords, Nixon resigning and washed it all down with our faces glued to a small black and white TV watching Saturday morning cartoons. 

The bulk of my childhood was spent, and in more ways than one, "looking up" at the luxury leviathans like this huge Merc. And it is in fact huge - just over 224-inches long and that's without the clodhopper safety bumpers the government mandated starting out front in 1973 and back in '74. My tenderest of tender years spent in my father's literally rental-grade, 1968 Ford Ranch Wagon. A car so bare bones it had laminate flooring. At least it had seat belts not that we ever used them. Then again, they were federally mandated.   

All Mercury's and especially their top-of-the-line model was always a curiosity to me - why'd they bother? Ford had their plush LTD, upon which it was always based, and they were sold along side the tonier and more expensive Lincoln equivalent to the LTD. For the most part, "Mercury's" were little more than gussied up Fords but their being bundled or partnered with Lincoln at least gave them a veneer of prestige. My first car was a 1974 Mercury Comet (sedan, ugh!) and with its one or two "Lincoln-Mercury" badges, I kidded myself I was driving something more than a Ford Maverick. 

Was this Marquis more than an LTD or less than a Lincoln Continental that shared its frame, albeit with a scooch longer wheelbase? Of course not. Same with Cadillac's of the vintage that were no more than Oldsmobile's or Buick's. Throw in the Pontiac Bonneville\Grand Ville and Chevrolet Caprice while you're at it too. What this is then is but mere status symbol of yore. And like first-class cabins on the Titanic, compared to today's road-going gems, it comes up short. Way short. Then again, think about what the poor folks down in steerage had to put up with. 

The Ford Motor Company created Mercury in 1938 to bridge the price gap between Ford and Lincoln and also compete with General Motors and Chrysler's middle priced makes and models. Much like GM and Chrysler came to struggle with their middle children ultimately snuffing all of them out, save for GM's Buick and that's most likely only for the time being, Ford sent Mercury to the great beyond after model year 2010 taking with it with some seventy plus years of struggles to define what made a Mercury a Mercury. Through my foggy goggles, they never really did. 

About the most interesting thing I can find about this fancified LTD is that its 429-cubic inch V-8 has a two-barrel carburetor; the "2V" was for its two-venturi carburetor. The "429 2V" was the only engine available on 1969-1971 Mercury Marquis' and was part of Ford's famed "385" series of Mercury-Edsel-Lincoln engines that it's successor, the 460, incidentally available only with a 4V, was also part of. "385" was derived from the engine's bore of 3.85-inches. 

But wait, there's more. The best is, the 429 2V has a 10.5:1 compression ratio and requires premium juice. No doubt Ford only offered a two-barrel carburetor in the interest of fuel economy. 

Asking price is $2,500. Is that a good price? I guess. Seems fair, not that I care. It's down in Albuquerque, New Mexico.  You might save some pennies driving it home rather than shipping it, but remember, it'll get may 10 or 11-mpg highway, if you're lucky, and it needs to run on the "good stuff". Bonus, if the AC croaks on the haul home, just lower all four-windows for a full-on blast of unrestricted fresh air to cool off. 

Would my contempt for four-door sedans be less if my first car was a powerhouse, V-8 sedan like this rather than the homely, spindly, wobbly, six-cylinder sedan I did have? I honestly don't know. Perhaps it might be somewhat less but then again, back when I came of driving age anyone who was anything, to me at least, drove a car that had only two-doors. The fact my Comet was so intrinsically awful doing the sappy little thing, and through my eyes all four-door cars, no favors. 

1996 Mercury Cougar XR7 - Dad, That's Awful

 

I never gave this iteration of the Mercury Cougar a moment's notice back in the day. Was it my loyalty to GM or that these were more expensive than any GM10\W-body coupe? Note my "W-body" 2002 Dale Earnhardt Chevrolet Monte Carlo is in the background. Maybe it was that I was not a fan of its quirky Thunderbird-esque styling. I know my older son isn't. I showed him these pictures of this 1996 (or 1997) and he didn't sugar coat his opinion as he blurted out, "oh, god. Dad, that's awful".   

I found this recently in the parking garage in the "outdoor mall" near our home here on the west side of Cleveland, Ohio. There was an oversized, Walmart\Target\Autozone cover on the steering wheel and a knapsack in the back seat telling me it's a daily driver for some young person. Was it Grandpa's car that sat undriven for a quarter-century or did their car-geek parent buy it for them and is jamming it down their throat? I wonder if they really like it. Again, I know my son most certainly isn't. 

The Mercury Cougar and Ford Thunderbird were all new for 1989 and a subtly significant reskin occurred for 1993. My experience with them was quite pleasant. Solid, smooth, comfy and the time I drove a five-speed, Thunderbird Super Coupe, I was like, "I need this". 1989-1990 Cougar XR7's had the Thunderbird Super Coupe's supercharged, 3.8-liter V-6, 1992-1997 XR7's were stuffed with V-8's. Either Ford's 5.0-liter "Windsor" or their "modular", 4.6-liter, two-valve, single-overhead cammer. Ford sold just shy of a half-million these Cougars and just a hair under a million Thunderbirds from 1989-1997, so it was a bit of a head scratcher when they pulled the plug on them. 

The Ford Motor Company either saw the handwriting on the wall that big coupes were dying, or they purposely steered the market towards even bigger, heavier and no doubt more profitable SUV's. Can you purposely change the course of lakes, rivers and market niches? Oh, yes. You most certainly can. 

Amazing how much the car market has changed in the 25 years since this was new. Not only has the entire personal luxury car niche all but dried up, but the sedan segment is all but gone as well. I can only imagine the myriad changes to come in the next quarter-century as "electrics" takeover.  

Legend has it Ford used BMW's 1976 vintage "E24" coupe as a handling and styling benchmark for these cars. Debatable as to whether or not they came close to hitting either mark. I know how my son feels about them although he's not a fan of most nineties' cars. That includes my wife's beloved 1995 Lexus SC400. Best I can say about this car, despite being a good, old-fashioned gas guzzler, she'll run well on regular and blessed with four-wheel-independent suspension, she'll ride and handle better than any other personal luxury car ever did. Fun fact, Ford didn't put an "IRS" on the Mustang until 2015. 

One thing is all but certain, I can't imagine one of today's new-fangled electrics being around in twenty-five years. 

1976 Mercury Cougar XR7 - Cigarette Burns Included

Hard to believe that in 1967 when The Ford Motor Company's Mercury Cougar was first introduced, not only did it win Motor Trend's "Car of the Year" honors, but some automobile scribes christened it an "American Jaguar". Although that claim was rather hyperbolic and Motor Trend has given their "golden calipers" to far more scrubs than hall of famers over the years, by 1974 that "American Jag" became a bloated, soggy and slow "personal luxury car". Our triple-blue subject (blue paint, blue vinyl top and blue interior) hails from the bicentennial model year of 1976. 

How in the name of Watergate, bell bottoms, disco and pet rocks did that lithe, sexy little sports car get so fat? And in just eight model years too? 

Well, for starters, it was amazing that Ford whipped up the original Cougar that was inexplicably equal parts pony car and luxury car and oozed European elan in the first place.  Even if it was just a long wheelbase Mustang with some tasteful sheet metal and a really nice interior. Without question, however, it stole as much thunder from the new for '67 Mustang as General Motors dynamic pony car duo (Chevrolet Camaro and Pontiac Firebird) did. That said, in the vaunted halls of Dearborn, many suits had the Cougar in their literal Lincoln-Mercury crosshairs. 

Since (at first) Cougar and Mustang were bolted together at the bumper, when Mustang got an update, so did the Cougar. 

Hence the longer, wider, heavier and flabbier 1969-1970 Cougar and then the abortive 1971-1973 "big" Mustang and Cougar. Although, in fairness, in a vacuum, the 1969 and 1971 Mustang and Cougar weren't all that bad. Well, looking at least. However, they were damned by comparison because of what came before them. Had the 1971 Mustang been a new "Thunderbird" and the Cougar been a Montego or "Marauder" and things might have been different. Might. Have been. Who knows. Fun to ponder, though.  

Ye olde tipping point was model year 1974. With the crash landing of the 1971-1973 Mustang, under the leadership of Lee Iacocca, who'd take credit for sunny day if he could have, seeing the rising popularity of imports and smaller cars, Ford rolled out the Mustang II on an elongated Pinto chassis. Mustang fans cried foul, not foal of course, but the Mustang II sold almost as well as the original Mustang did. The October 1973-March 1974 OPEC embargo obviously had something to do with that but don't tell Lido that. 

Since Lincoln-Mercury had also been peddling the Ford of Europe sourced Capri (since 1971), it made no sense to also offer a Pinto-based "Cougar II". So, instead, to give Mercury a Chevrolet Monte Carlo fighter, Ford product planners and marketing wonks festooned "Cougar" to the flanks of a Montego coupe. 

All but impossible to say or tell what the difference was between a Montego two-door and a Cougar was, but Cougar sales were roughly double over 1973 although roughly half of what they were in 1967. Remarkable too since model year 1974 was a dramatically down year considering the impact of the OPEC embargo. 

For 1977, Mercury dropped "Montego" from their nameplate lineup and all Mercury intermediates became "Cougar's". There was a Cougar coupe that was all but indistinguishable from a new for 1977, and very successful, downsized Ford Thunderbird. Prior to that, Thunderbird was built on the same chassis as the Lincoln Continental Mark series. 

The Mercury Cougar and Ford Thunderbird, like the Cougar and Mustang were from 1967 through 1973, were corporate cousins through 1997. From 1998 through 2002, Lincoln-Mercury sold a front-wheel-drive, Ford Contour sourced Cougar. More of death throe or spasm as the personal luxury car market was withering, the little Cougar sold well (88,000 units) at first, but sales dropped by some fifty percent each subsequent model year. 

Best or worst that can be said of 1974-1976 Mercury Cougar's, in retrospect, is that rarely had something so much more been actually so much less. Check values of these beasts compared to even the 1971-1973 cats that came before them to say nothing of the '69-'70 models and of course, the painfully cool '67 and '68's. This one's for sale in Kokomo, Indiana with an asking price of $9,850. Price includes ash trays and cigarette burnt upholstery.