Tuesday, April 6, 2021

2008 Chrysler Crossfire - Smooth Jazz


I found this 2008 Chrysler Crossfire for sale recently on one of my "cheap-car", under $10,000 deep dives. Funny how these searches sometimes come up with not only unique old cars but open the flood gates of memories for me. 


It was the summer of 2003 when what was known at the time as Daimler - Chrysler introduced these cars, the first and only two-passenger Chrysler branded automobiles. I was programming a smooth jazz radio station in New York City and an advertising agency wanted our on-air hosts to drive them and talk about them on the air. 


"Smooth Jazz", was an instrumental based radio format and not a "type" of music per se and like two-door cars in general and two-passenger cars in particular, had a very limited actual appeal although many people claimed to like it. Or at least thought they liked the illusion of what it was; a Sunday Brunch sound track they could listen to whenever they wanted. In reality, the only time it got decent ratings was when it was heavily marketed and "coupon-ed" with cash contesting. Left to it's own devices and not incentivized it withered. 


The caviar and champagne life group, that many think was the smooth jazz consumer, was what the ad agency was going after. In reality, though, one's taste in music is about as much a harbinger of class and sophistication as is the brand of tooth paste you use. We had as many truck driver's and carpenters as listeners as we did Sachs Fifth Avenue shoppers. However, perception, as they say, is reality. Chrysler was paying a New York City ad agency handsomely to market their new two-passenger sleds and placing ads on our little outlet of snobby music was what they came up with. We took the money and ran all the way to the bank. 


Logistically, the biggest problem with the campaign was that all of our on air hosts lived in the city and rarely drove let alone owned a car. My not being a denizen of the city and instead a bourgeois commuter and problem solving manager I portend to be, I offered to drive the cars and take copious notes the hosts could use for their on air chit-chat. I know, I know. Amazing the things I do for my staff and the ad revenue of my radio stations but (he sighs) such the hardships I endure. 


So, what was a Chrysler Crossfire anyway? Well, they were one of the brighter, ahem, stars that came of Chrysler's abortive marriage to Daimler A.G. At least, subjectively, stylistically. We can argue all day that that the 2008 Dodge Challenger or 2005 vintage Chrysler 300 and Dodge Charger were equally bright but those cars were more like step-children whereas the Crossfire was what the odd merger of the two automobile monoliths was supposed to be; Mercedes-Benz product dressed down in Chrysler clothing. 


Unlike the 300 and Charger which used a Chrysler platform with Mercedes-Benz baubles and bits like suspensions, a transmission and differential, underneath, the Crossfire was in fact a Mercedes-Benz; albeit a then current Mercedes-Benz SLK that was going into the dumpster. In then end, it seemed, the use of an obsolete Benz to underpin these cars along with Mercedes' hesitancy to use their then current E-series to build the 300 and Charger off of encapsulated all the issues the relationship had from the get go. Mercedes-Benz was ok with the partnership but didn't want to share anything more than letterhead. if that. 


Still, even back then, an old Mercedes was better than most anything offered domestically. And from a business perspective, it's hard to argue with the idea of squeezing a couple more Euro's out of one. Only thing is, what you have here, in reality, was a $30,000+, two-passenger Chrysler and not a Mercedes. Back in 2004 that was still some big or kind of big money and for similar Deutsche Marks, well, maybe a little more, buyers who had money or wanted to look like they had money, had a gaggle of similarly themed automobiles to choose from. Including Mercedes-Benz makes and models.  


What did my notes say about these cars? Well, knowing that ninety-nine percent of people could care less about the details us car wonks are into, I kept it simple and gushed over the styling, feeling of bank vault like solidity and the smooth, sophisticated ride. I didn't go into any great detail about how sluggish the old-school recirculating ball steering was or that I found them under-powered. Also, thanks to the swoopy rear end styling, visibility was atrocious; changing lanes in Manhattan and Long Island traffic, which is epic if you're not familiar with it, was akin to steering with your eyes closed. This, of course, back in the day long before back-up and blind side cameras. 


I also felt but didn't tell the hosts that these cars were really kind of boring. So much so that I honestly found them no  more interesting to drive than my oh-so-humble 1997 Chevrolet Monte Carlo LS I was driving at the time. Damned by faint praise? Well, I wasn't the only one who felt that way. Chrysler sold just over seventy-five thousand Crossfire's between model years 2004 and 2008; certainly not a total disaster but compared to what they thought they'd sell it was a disappointing drop in the bucket. Chrysler pulled the plug on the Crossfire in December 2007. 


Just as, ironically, many smooth jazz radio stations began changing format to something else. Coincidence? 




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