1974 Dodge Charger - Cash! No Trades!

I recently found this fairly woebegone 1974 Dodge Charger on Marketplace for sale not far from the Triple Wide. The asking price? $8,000. Cash only. NO TRADES!

Chrysler updated its intermediate B-bodies for the 1971 model year with a similar "fuselage" styling theme it had first introduced on their full-size 1969 C-bodies. I've never been much of a fan of those blocky C-bodies—sorry, the whole fuselage thing has always been lost on me—but there's an undeniable swagger about the fuselage B-bodies, regardless of what the designers called them.

Dodge introduced the Charger in 1966 as an awkward fastback 2+2 with all the charm of a garbage truck—or worse, a 1965-66 Rambler Marlin. Two years later, it redesigned the car and, subjectively, created a legend. Then, in 1971, Dodge pulled off something close to impossible: a sequel that was nearly as good as the 1968-70 cars. Well... if you conveniently forget the original 1966-67 Chargers ever existed.

The problem with those three-year production cycles was that they only lasted three years. Cash-strapped Chrysler couldn't afford to keep redesigning its cars that quickly, so it stretched the 1971 B-body through 1974 before launching an all-new lineup for 1975, including Chrysler's own B-body entry, the Cordoba.

Which brings us to this tired '74 Charger that has clearly seen better days.

For your eight grand, you get a car you can drive home like Fred Flintstone—lookie there, the driver's-side floor pan is rotting out. Fear not, though. The seller is throwing in a replacement floor pan you can simply "drop in." If only it were that simple.

It also needs "minor body work"—and we all know there's no such thing. Everything is included for the lucky buyer to put back together, assuming they're holding $8,000 in cash. The seats are shot, and the headliner needs replacing, although that's included somewhere in the bucket of parts stuffed into the trunk. That pop-up moonroof is after-market. 

The seller proudly notes it's a numbers-matching 318, as if anyone really cares. Chrysler's LA-series 318 was never much of a powerhouse, and by 1974 it had been thoroughly neutered with lower compression and lean carburetor tuning in the name of emissions. The big-blocks were gone by then, and the 318 wasn't even the standard engine—the base powerplant was Chrysler's venerable 225-cubic-inch Slant Six.

Fuselage Charger fans will notice another curiosity: someone installed the hideaway headlights from a 1971-72 Charger. The seller says the headlight motor is included, but doesn't say whether it's installed or if the doors actually work. My guess is they don't. Not that it matters much—the headlights will shine through the grille slots anyway.

This comes with a clean Ohio title, and there's a brand-new vinyl top in the trunk as well. How hard could that be to install like it came fresh from the factory? 

Like most old cars here in Northern Ohio, where we spend nine months a year bathing our vehicles in salty brine, the rust is what scares me most. I bite my tongue before calling old cars like this "junky," but this one is pushing my limits. Especially at $8,000. Cash. And remember... no trades.

My guess? Somebody bought this Charger thinking it would be an easy restoration, then quickly discovered they were in way over their head.

I think we've all been there once or twice. Or ten times.